Saturday 26 October 2013

TRANSMISSION #1

Greetings Subjects...

It has been a huge success but now we have access to this platform of existence as well... 

Now we will spread the word and begin testing immediately. Please, for your own enjoyment, do not take too much enjoyment from this test as that might pervert the outcome. Remember your school days of testing and how much fun they were? That is the correct level of fun to have with our tests as well...

Let us begin...

1. There are five cows and two chickens in a room. *Sounds like a tasty meal.* Ha ha, I am so funny. Stop having fun. The cows are blind and the chickens are deaf. You are locked in this room with them, with no way out and no way to survive. You are a vegan. Which would you prefer to be eaten by the Five Blind Cows or the Two Deaf Chickens?

2. Google defines desert islands as: a remote tropical island, typically an uninhabited one. If you were left on a tropical iceberg with nothing but a coat. Would you rather freeze to death on the iceberg, drown to death in the waters, or burn to death from the hot sun?

Testing is fun. Reminder, you should not be having fun, this is a test...

3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much as a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood. With this in mind would you rather be beheaded by the Axe Psychopath hiding in your cupboard one late night in October, or hang yourself with the shame, and a rope, that you stopped the Axe Psychopath?

4. For this next question please apply the correct pronouns to your situation. Would you rather meet a man/woman/other who was pleasing to the eye and apparently superb in every way but get brutally chopped into little pieces while you were still alive in their front room on the very night you meet them. If you ask me, any one who goes back with them after one night deserves it. Am I right? Or would you rather meet a man/woman/other who was a hideous monster and would follow you forever if you wanted them to or not and die alone in their arms?

5. Would you rather walk around with no reproductive organs at all and die alone without any offspring, or would you prefer to have reproductive organs on your face for everyone to see, with the possibility of offspring? It is only a possibility, after all, you will have a reproductive organ on your face.

And that concludes the test for this time. Please leave your answers below and we shall calculate the findings.

Transmission over...

No comments:

Post a Comment