Friday 30 December 2011

The Awkward Moment When...

Well you know where this is going...

*YET ANOTHER EMOTIVE AND HEART-WRENCHINGLY TRAGIC INSIGHT INTO HOW MY MIND IS TICKING OVER. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE STOMACH FOR SUCH THINGS PLEASE SKIP AHEAD UNTIL YOU SEE THAT I'VE HIT THE CAPS BUTTON AGAIN*

I don't know why I use this blog as a sort of diary, but here goes nothing...

Typically the dark days of winter are notorious for dark thoughts of loneliness and betrayal. And that, with the added cabin fever, makes everyone quite cranky and on edge but also slothful and glutenous.

Well yesterday I think I reached my tipping point and spilled all this darkness and fever and edgy gluttons everywhere. Well I say everywhere, it was just to one person, and it was just one thing I said, but it put me on edge and opened my eyes to how much of a fool I really am. I'll give you three guesses who this person was...

All I said was, well it was a completely childish thing to say really, and I don't think I'll repeat it, because it was so stupid and childish, but either way it made her say 'Dude, don't be awkward. You know what I mean.' And I replied 'Yes I do.'

Well I'm now hugely embarrassed because the whole thing told me that I was being a truly unsubtle being, which is something no one wants. You can't force anything to happen, you just have to be natural about the whole situation. Though saying that, at the same time I can't stop feeling this way. I don't know what to say about the whole situation. People expect us to be more than what we are, which at the moment we're just good friends, which is not what my mind wants us to be, though at the moment it's thinking that we've had a falling out because of this whole thing and that we're both going to be awkward about everything and everyone. But that's just my mind being my mind. I think it's because of these winter months. No one in my family does well, mentally, in the winter - mainly because we all have to spend time with each other.

*YOU MAY CONTINUE READING FROM HERE IF YOU SKIPPED THROUGH THE TERRORS ABOVE ME EARLIER*

Well thankfully I think that's enough of that, and I should possibly take this opportunity to tell you that I have been drawing. It's something to do, and if it amuses people then who am I to deny my abilities? If you want to read any of the 'Badly Drawn Adventures of Big Tom' then please click away!

New Years is just around the corner, and once it's happened I'll be glad, I don't know why it always feels like a fresh start, but everyone always treats it as one. We're all going to lose weight and achieve great things this year! Well for some of us that's bound to be true. This year, at least, I'm going to become a driver, and a member of the healthy and employed. And if I achieve all that then I'm sure my other goals, like moving out, becoming a proper Author, and travelling the world will eventually follow. That might be a lot for just one year you're thinking, but it's a leap year as well so we have even more time to fulfill our dreams and stop sitting at home, at our desks, dreaming.

Well said? I think so. To all of you, a very Happy New Year. I hope to see, speak, and hear from you all very soon. With lots of Love...

Carpe diem! Until next time bloggers...

Wednesday 28 December 2011

96 Posts Later...

I have no idea why I don't really write these anymore, but it would appear that I don't as often as I did. I don't know why this is though it might be due to my lack of life at the moment. I've been job hunting in these past months while my friends all continue their employment or education and I suppose that makes me quite jealous, but not so at the same time.

Over this Christmas Season I've been sleeping in as well, though I think that's due to illness and general tiredness. I don't know why I've been tired a lot recently, but I was talking to Pill the other day and he was feeling the same, it must be an end of year thing, though I imagine it's because he's got a lot of real work to do.

I think it's safe to say that I've eaten too much, ignored my driving, and become a tremendous slob during this celebration, and that's far less than I've done before now. Though saying that, during my Mother's annual Christmas Party last Friday, HB's Aunt, and partly her Mother were encouraging me to catch HB under the Mistletoe - if you understand me. I really don't know where to stand with HB, or how she feels about the whole situation. I do know that my feels, on the other hand, have not changed in the slightest, and for that matter, they might have gotten stronger. *Sigh*

I remember why I don't write these so often now. It's because I never have anything to talk about apart from what's on my mind and in my thoughts, and she's always in my thoughts. I know I'm sad, I'm a sucker, and I'm stuck this way.

New Years is coming up, so I think it's only time for things to change in one way or the other.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. I've been such an idiot.

Monday 12 December 2011

Christmas Lights...

I don't know why I leave it so long to post things between things, but I'll tell you November was a very busy month...

Well I say November was a bit of busy-ness but now it's December and Christmas is just around the corner. I have decorated, given gifts, received things (Thanks Tag), and sent out my Christmas Cards to the four corners of the globe believe it or not. I've sent things internationally this year. Christmas is getting big.

And with all this Christmas stuff you have to mention the food, and I had a tremendous time at the Goolliams' Flat eating and drinking and having a good time. After all Christmas is a fantastic time to spend with all the people you love most of all from HB Sauce to Pill, you're all brilliant.

Unfortunately, it's yet again that time of year to be thinking about what you're going to do in the upcoming year. And that's always frightening. At the moment I have two plans - ooooo look at me planning things. Only one of these plans I like, but the other one will probably be better for me. Either way I'm sure you'll hear about it at some point.

I hurt both physically and emotionally, and I don't know why physically. Emotionally I'm confused, and before you start Tag, no I'm not gay, I know you want me to be, but no, I'm not. Editing the NaNoWriMo thing might get my mind in order, I don't know.

Perhaps I'll get something else you requested from me done later Tag, how would you feel about that? Or maybe I'll read something. I wonder which is more likely.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Merry Christmas!