Saturday 29 June 2013

I'm A Bell End...

I like friends. I love all my friends, and I know that me being all sentimental and shit like that at the moment, means like I might miss out a lot of what I planned on saying about every single one of you. Because you're all wonderfully special and brilliant, and you've stuck by me even though I've started to become rather dickish, toolish, and quite frankly an arrogant arse. So, I just want to say thank you...

But yes, recently I've noticed yet another change to my overall personality (I swear if Pill read this he would call the men in white coats). It's not a very big change, but it has made an impact on a few things I say, that I doubt I would ever say again, or remember saying in the first place.

Confidence is a stupid thing in my hands. I'm quite sure of the words coming out of my mouth, and yet the people closest to me don't understand a single word, mainly because I've gone and got them in the wrong order, or they've gone and become some creepy pervy comment (usually accidentally). I know when I'm being creepy and I know when I'm not, so it sort of hurts when people don't understand that I'm not (you get me, blood?!)

For instance, the other night, when shopping in Tesco, Red and Cherry stopped in the middle of the aisle and I put my hands on Red's shoulders to try and move her and Cherry along. I would have done that if it was anyone of my friends stood in the middle of the aisle. As such, the action was perceived by some as the molesting gropes of a sinister swine. And the offer to carry Cherry to bed was yet sincere and found to be creepy. I don't know, I don't think I'll ever get this shindig right.

Cherry, Red and I sat in the Ponty Garden waiting for the rain, drinking in the two o'clock somewhere afternoon, and making light of the music on the boombox. We waiting for Tag to return from work, so we watched countless movies, and ate too much. When Tag appeared we replenished our stocks and continued to eat too much, not drink enough, and watch movies. I got an angry stare for offering to sleep on the sofa, to save the hassle of an inflatable bed, and that was that.

That next day we were driven to town to do our daily tasks, and I was to train to the Big End for Clareg's birthday get-together. It rained almost the entire way from the train station to his house, and since departing the train, I didn't see a single soul until I reached my destination. I almost took a picture, except I was concerned the zombies might have gotten me if I stopped.

Apparently World War Z, Man of Steel, and The Internship are very good.

I got to Clareg's, and was greeted with Cider (ma fav in a Chalice) and welcomed by a load of old faces. We spoke of life the universe and everything, and much merriment was had. I made plenty of bad jokes that some people laughed at. I met up with an old ex-friend of my sister, and pizza hut was had. And oh how I regret it. Two days of eating large quantities of crap. My body hates me.

Oh well. I got a lift to the station (thank you very much). I got called a bell end for booking the wrong week off work (to be fair, that was a bell end kinda thing to do). And I got back and to bed for about midnight, before waking at 5am, 6am, and finally 7am where I just had a shower.

I finish today at 5pm. If you fancy doing anything, but let me know, but other than that I'm looking forward to day off day (Wednesday) for sleepings. Hi TimTimmonie! (thank you for reading)...

Carpe diem...

Wednesday 26 June 2013

The More You Know...

I don't think I have anything to talk about today. Anything at all. Did nothing interesting happen yesterday? Well mistakes happened, but I'm always making mistakes, even obvious ones like that, and living with the error of my ways, but what can you do? I'm a mistake-prone person. Forgiveness is the key I suppose. So, weed...

The other evening, whilst getting drunk and stuff at Tag and Cherry's, I said that I wouldn't mind trying some weed. A tad out of character I will admit, but when you live with Pill, it does occasionally pop into conversation. Would you try it if you had the opportunity? Well, after all the years of peer pressure, I think I might give it a little go, though don't get me wrong. I wouldn't smoke that shit, that's a disgusting way of ingesting anything. And it's smokey.

And I just said I'd try it to see how it felt, and not to use it medicinally to rot my brain and slow my already retarded speech down a bit. Could you imagine? My brother's been on morphine, and still says that it was the best thing he's ever had, and my Father occasionally likes talking about the time his friends brought round and spliff to their quiet country home and got high. Dad and Mum weren't part-taking apparently, but Mum decided to make a lot of quiche for the munchier and munchier stoners. I always like to think that that bit took place at like 11pm at night in a forested area - because I know where they lived.

The urge to burger is going to be satisfied today after work (finally!), and everything will be okay. I've got the day off tomorrow, my right foot is aching, so I bought new shoes (work shoes, don't get excited ladies), and I can't wait for payday (Friday) because birthday presents have to be bought, and I'm going to Clareg's Birthday House Party between working times. I can't get too drunk or tired, but all will be well. I even think I know what I'm going to buy him. I am rubbish at this stuff.

Carpe diem...

Tuesday 25 June 2013

A Late Night Queen...

I don't plagiarise. I copy and leave all the best bits in!

Yesterday, I spent most of the day with Cutlery in my pocket, and a lot of change in the other (the perfect tool for getting rid of coppers - throw them at beggars!). My day was mostly uneventful. My first day back at doing my daily routine and nothing much had changed.

At lunchtime Red sent me a text asking about Burgaz, which made me think about burgaz, and my longing desire for one. I think they are my favourite summertime food. It's like tradition. Pill was away for the evening, so I vegged out on the sofa (saying that, I got back at 9pm, so there wasn't much vegging) and watched The White Queen on iPlayer. It's quite good, if you like that sort of thing (that sort of thing being historical drama with a sense of the natural supernatural). 

Pill seems to have done a number on my back, it's not painful, it just feels tight and numb. I'm sure it'll sort itself out, along with my arse and ankle.

I think today I has the house to myself again, as Pill is going to a BBQ (weather permitting, and the weather permits right now), so does anyone want to do an activity together? Preferably one that doesn't involve spending money because payday is Friday - although, saying that, payday is Friday. Why the hell can't I spend right now? I have popcorn. Just saying.

I've still got to buy a load of birthday presents. I am really crap at this. But they become good in the end, you'll see.

I wonder what my day will entail. I think I'm getting commission this month (yay!). I should redo my CV I think. See what's out there. Fish around. Tackle the market. And so on...

Now, I'm just droning on about nothing in particular. You guys don't like reading this rubbish do you? I'll take your silence to mean that you do. I don't know how to end this now, the end?

Only kidding, Carpe diem...

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. Hahahaha... wait, what? I mean, are you really happy or really evil? Evil? You mean, do I have, like, ulterior motives? I'm offended, Kim. Wounded, even? Hurt, Kim.

Monday 24 June 2013

Roasting Neighbour's Drinks...

Let's face it body, we're not as young as I used to be, but you've got to admit we're having more fun than we used to. And I think it's time to learn that you are a picker-upper and not the picker-upped. I may have also broken Red's arse, but I'm sure I can explain that one away in a little non-committal, non-predatory manner...

Saturday, the day of wine and pizza, dawned and saw me, myself, and my Mother/Sister hanging around town. For being the shoppers of the family, my Mother and Sister didn't do very much shopping while they were in the Diff. I met them while they had breakfast at John Lewis, and I stayed with them a while after a trip to Primark and the Works. I bought a plug for Pill, and I checked my work rota. Monday morning 11:30am sharp! (WTF? I've got to wait until 11:30 to start work! - so here I am, blogging).

Anyway, I bid farewell to ma famile, and wondered homewards for an afternoon of Halo, before having to return to town to meet with Red as she finished work, as was pre-arranged the evening before. Tag called me as I sat outside Red's Work, and I almost got sat upon by a fat man insistent on eating his peaches. No euphemism intended. He had finished, and wondered where I was, and upon discovering, he met me three-minutes later, badass speaker in-hand. And no less than two-minutes after that we watched Red push a man out of her shop and she joined us.

The trio walked back to mine, and then with Pill and DarkHorse at the ready, we drove to Tesco for 'supplies' and then to Tag and Cherry's to drink said 'supplies'. Fire was loved and lost, than to have never fired at all. HB was there, which came as a surprise to some. We got wet outside (namely my bum), and persisted in the interior dances of a nightclub. The walls started to leak with perspiration, and the tunes blasted out into the night. Neighbours hated us, but who cares, fuck you neighbours!

There was a bra taking off competition (I did not learn anything, join in, or practice), and a boxer-taker-offer award, which I did not win either. HB went around kissing everyone, and checking that I was alright (again - I'm getting tired of that), and I discovered that I could not only lift and carry two women on each arm (thank you Red and DarkHorse - against your will), but I could carry one woman on my front and one on my back, until the one on the back let go of my back and subsequently found herself on the floor. I'm amazed it took us three attempts and that was the outcome each time. I made Cherry touch the ceiling, and Pill tried carrying me in a fireman's lift, before dropping me on my back (so that's where that bruise has come from - it's all lies, they're not even square). The most damage I came away with is a slight graze on my left ankle, and sore muscles.

I didn't drink as much as I hoped, only getting through a bottle in total, and HB kept pushing me off the blow up bed and stole the duvet. Next time I get the sofa. I've also done something to my left shoulder, though I imagine that's something to do with being dropped.

The next morning, some of us went to work, and others went to ours. I went to ours, and forced HB to play Halo, before I allowed her to play Skyrim while I cooked dinner. I did start at 1pm, which wasn't bad considering I didn't have very much equipment or space to do anything. Red came over, movies were watched and food was had. In the end the meal turned out to be mainly mush (which was disappointing) but it tasted alright. The conversation sort of went down hill from there really. Tag and Pill started discussing things that I wasn't interested in. HB made a few remarks about the way I pronounce things (the right way I should add), and I sat there in silence waiting to go home, except I was home.

It was nice, but I don't think I'd do it again, well not for the whole crowd. And besides, roast dinner is quite a boring thing to cook - even if there was Cauliflower Cheese.

Everyone left, I recovered my iPod again, and DarkHorse and Pill did the washing up. We sat and watched a Knight's Tale and the evening was ended.

And I read the definition of glomping and it made me smile. Thank you.

Carpe diem...

Thursday 20 June 2013

Kicking Back Like It's 2002...

Today I woke up feeling like shite. It was as if a hangover were to marry a deadly illness and procreated a great discomfort to the world (namely mine). Obviously I'm exaggerating, but I did require an extended lie-in, and the headache hasn't shifted all day...

I gathered together my morning routine and shrunk it down to 'shower' and I was out the door with a mug of coffee in hand. I trotted to the train station and was shortly on the train to HomeTown for the day. For I was going to meet with my oldest and dearest friend Clareg. 

I know some of you know him, but I don't think you know the extent of the oldest and dearest-ness. I've known him since probably the age or 4 or 5. And we've basically grown up together, his mother treats me like a son and offers bed and board whenever I'm around. They've taken me on day trips with them, and on holiday (they're where I caught the Italian bug). They've supported me like my own parents, and I was once told that his mother was very grateful for me because I was someone for Clareg to play with (because he was an only child, until his sister came about nearly 10-years ago - though I could be wrong about that). So yeah, we've got history, and fun history at that...

I got off the train and walked up the hills towards his home. It wasn't far, almost like walking to Red's except for the hills. I got there, went in through the back door (giggity) and was greeted by his dog, who jumped up at my crotch, like she always does. His dad was working in the kitchen, and I eventually found him in the sitting room. We chatted about exercise and life and stuff for most of the morning. Went to Tesco, I didn't get normal lunch stuff because he's been telling me about protein and cautious carbs and such (bread makes you fat?), so I got two sausages and a bottle of water. He had 4 chicken thighs and some Pepsi (I will this health round). As we returned I suggested we get the xbox out and play some Halo, as normal. And Halo-4'd it up, just like we did back in 2002 when he had the original xbox and Halo: Combat Evolved. 

How times change...

Carpe diem...

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Father's Drunk Pepper Spray Walk...

I think my crazy levels have certainly come back down to weird since Saturday evening. Let's face it, I was a tad (very) stupidly OTT, and I've even come to the conclusion that living with a couple is an okay thing. Obviously there are still silly little questions niggling in the back of my head, but that's what happens isn't it?

So, Pill gets back today and I'm ready for the apology (I was a bit out of order), and the Property News, ready for some new apartments/houses - and upon viewing and saying such he says rather nonchalantly that there's no need, the previous plan is back on track. I'm not annoyed, but I would have liked a bit of notice as I had already started looking for new places for us all. Oh well, no point saying anything now. I'll save the apology for our next deep conversation. He's already judging me for walking Red to the Bus Stop (I wouldn't question it, or mention it, Pill doesn't blog and gets a bit violated at the thought of him being spoken again behind his back for the whole world to see). We, to be fair, that's not the truth - the world doesn't read my blog. I'm not nearly that interesting, and I'm quite grateful for that.

Father's Day happened. I returned to the Homestead for the Day to eat, part with gifts, and chat in much merriment. I think I could summarise by saying that I got there had a coffee with Mum, baked Cookies and Apple Sponge with Ben while talking about video games obviously, sat with Dad in the rainy garden, and gave Natalie back her Lord of the Rings DVDs (well, they're not hers, but she'll treat them as if they are, which might means they inevitably get lost or broken. 

I returned home and watched The Returned (have you guys seen that stuff yet?!). And basically since then I've been trying to think of things to do with my days. Yesterday consisted of getting Tag drunk, which I did quite successfully I believe. They tried to make me get with a Barmaid to whom I was not vaguely interested in. So, I showed the guys what I've got and discovered that she was an apt Barmaid, Cocktail Waitress, and Chef (having to taste them all), and that she wanted to join the Army next purely to please her Grandfathers (and that's plural). It's good that I make these first impressions because, let's face it, I'm a bit weird, disjointed and I can't use my words sometimes. I do remember leaving her by saying 'some men like that' (all the while in my head I was going, but not me). Oh well. 

10pm rolled round and yes we partied hard, and I walked Red home, being her Pepper-Spray, and we had a bit of a walk around the Bay. You can buy some Pepper-Spray here. It was nice, we found a compass, which was also a bit mappy, and we could have touched the water in the cannals they were so high. I got to see where Red aspired to live in the Bay (did you realise in your blog that you used your name at that point?). I got a quick tour of the apartment again, Hammerz and PokeBall, plus Dolphins and New York and I was on my way. 

In the morning, namely today, as it is Tuesday now, I woke and rushed around getting ready to welcome Dad with a parking permit. He brought some garden chairs, and promises to bring a table next time, and I broke my watch in the process (what the actual fuck). I returned Cherry's stuff to her, and she repaired my watch. Debby Hams Forevs!

I went to see how Tag was feeling, but I bumped into his Boss before doing so and was swiftly warned off before I entered the store. Needless to say I returned to the flat and played hours of xbox trying to get inspired, but it wasn't until Red suggested a walk (before I was going to), and we went for a walk, Pill came too, and complained almost the entire time. We found some foods (I got Tea Cakes), and watched Emperor's New Groove. And that's that, now I must get on with some plot before the conversation on Facebook gets out of hand...oh wait, it already has...

Carpe diem...

Saturday 15 June 2013

So This Is How It Is...

I just spent the last day, and majority of the week, by myself, like a big boy. And do you know what? I really don't like it...

I think it helps when I have work to be getting on with or to go to, but I've just not found anything to distract me to such an extreme today. It's happened before, and it'll undoubtedly happen again, where Pill, despite his insistence that I move in with him because otherwise he'll go mad by himself, has gone out without informing me of his plans...

Before I start sounding like a concerned parent. I don't care what Pill does in his spare time, or where he goes. It merely annoys me because since his condemnation of my cooking, he has taken up the mantle of cooking everything (namely curry or chili) and has banned me from doing anything because he either doesn't like what I cook, or the way I cook it. Therefore, when he doesn't come back from his daily outing, I'm left wondering what's for dinner, and since he went shopping to the cost of £75 last week (of which I paid half) I went to investigate what I could cook. As I explored I found four packs of frozen bacon and a pack of frozen sausages (cider and apple if you're wondering - and a variety I won't eat due to the unwanted sweetness in my savouries. I know I must be the only person to hate the coupling of pork and apple, but I do), some chips (why?), plenty of veg, three slices of bread, condiments, a chorizo, and some cheese. So, where's my food? I haven't eaten £30's worth of food this week, and I had to pay extra for that bread and cheese! 

Needless to say, I didn't cook. I ordered some Chinese instead (cos I be lazy) and watched a movie wondering where the bloody hell they could be, when I see a Facebook status from DarkHorse mentioning HB's and food and such. Couples make plans all the time, I don't care, but I do mind when I'm not told that there are plans and that I should plan to be alone. I expected them to be back by about lunchtime with Pill's chirpy: 'just popping out' this morning. 

I guess it all boils down to Pill wanting DarkHorse to move in, which of course means that we'll have to move. I've told him, like I told him from the start, I'm not living with a couple. I don't mind if she comes over and stays a while, but actually living with a couple, its just not something I saw myself doing this year. For one, I'll never get a say on anything.

Have you noticed that this group is fracturing? Or is it just me? Tag and Cherry don't like Pill and DarkHorse, Pill and DarkHorse don't like Tag and Cherry, Pill and I are going to fall out over this moving business because he wants to move his girlfriend in (I see the financial benefits, but on the other hand, no), I don't think HB and I have had a conversation in a year. Everything seems to be splitting again, and that's just the long and short of it. 

Have I given up caring? 

Pill might argue (and he would) that I leave him by himself all the time. And truth be it, yes, yes I do, but I probably wouldn't have done so much if he was ever in the flat in those early days. He still talks to me about money and other shit like that, and asks me about how secure my job is and completely fucks with my head all the bloody time. And yet he's the poor one, or so he says. He sits and talks to me about my life and suggests things I should do. Why is it his business?

I guess when I'm alone, all the dark thoughts do sort of come out. But there's always solace in it all. If I wasn't alone that one time, I wouldn't have randomly started talking to Red, and she wouldn't have become such a close friend as she is now. Tag and I wouldn't hangout so much I don't think, and we wouldn't all hangout together as much as we do. We wouldn't cinema, burger, sleep, and cat, all together. And I like that, but if it wasn't for loneliness it wouldn't have happened. 

I know I can be an annoying and stupid prick sometimes but I just wanted to tell you all that. And I think I've ranted enough and gotten all my crazy out for one day. What do you think?

I'm going to start writing again, and hopefully get this short story finished this week. Then we'll see what I do with it. 

Carpe diem...

Friday 14 June 2013

That There's A Belly Button...

That title could be a little insensitive to a certain redheaded individual, but roll with it, it's relevant, sort of...

After my daily deeds on Wednesday I started the arduous trek to the Bay. The walk wasn't strenuous, and the weather wasn't too bad, the only real arduous part was when my iPod decided to pause every now and then for fun it seemed. Needless to say, it annoyed me. But then I received a phone call from Red, and I called her back, but I couldn't get through, so instead I called Tag: 

'WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU BARBARA!'

So, I waited on the side of the empty road and flagged them down, like a NYC cab, and we sped off in the other direction, breaking the law a bit, but nonetheless going the way we wanted. Our destination, and the place we spend most Wednesday evenings (due to my late working times), the Cinema. Our movie, Hangover Part III. Or as the ticket called it Hngvr Prt III which is pronounced as Hung-ver-pErt-ee! (I googled it).

I enjoyed the movie very muchly. As action packed an fun as most action movies tend to be, but it wasn't a Hangover Movie, there wasn't even a Hangover in it! Well, not until the credits of course, but they still lost Doug (I have boobies now!).

We vacated the cinema after the credits, as is our way nowadays (damn you Marvel), and ventured into the smelly air. It does always smell like wet socks down there. We ordered Chicken House (traditions be a mounting I think), and probably stumbled on some doggers on the walk back.

The next day just so happened to be my first day of Holiday (and I think it's more than 10-days now, eek!) so I set about things to do, item first being a haircut. I know I paid, and I physically saw the lady chop parts of my hair out, but it doesn't feel like I've had a haircut. Oh well, maybe next payday. I visited Tag in work, they were talking to a famous so I thought I'd just interrupt. He wasn't too famous, but he is the second Misfits actor I've seen this week. Perhaps they're remaking it, in Cardiff! (that would be odd, but I think the Bay has enough high-rises to accommodate).

Then on the way home I wandered my usual route, and I pressed the button to cross the road by the Castle, I was thinking about walking home through the park. Though something else struck me. Fuck it, the Museum's free I thought, and walked up that way, discovering a small deserted park with another Marquee of Bute statue, and I noticed that they're erecting (giggity) tents opposite the museum. I wonder what they're doing with those. I traversed the museum's floors for a couple of hours, taking in memories of my childhood. My dad would always take us to the Museum when he looked after us. I think he just wanted to get us to learn a thing or two about history and the make up of the world, because I don't think he ever took us to see the art upstairs. Either way, DINOSAURS!

I returned home after, but not before taking three businessmen to the train station (good deed done), and sat and wrote for many many hours, before eating with Pill and DarkHorse and watching Rango with them (That there's a belly button, being a quote from said movie). I then returned to the writing. It's all crappy, but I think I've found plot. Tag's eyebrows rose when I told him that yesterday. I hope you'd be proud. And that's where I am, and what I've been doing. This evening, since everyone has invited themselves over, Red and I have been invited to Tag and Cherry's for the evening. It'll be my first free journey there and back, because DarkHorse is driving, since moving to Cardiff I think. Who knows?

I think I miss driving. It's just like exploring, but with a car. (obvs, you moron)...

Carpe diem...

Wednesday 12 June 2013

A Tuesday Pick-Me-Up...

Tuesday was the pick-me-up of the week so far. And I'm only working for three days! (I know right, insane)...

Early in the day I was guiding a gentleman to the appropriate section when we started to discuss our education, and our writing. Dafuq? He said he had just finished his first novel and was getting it edited by some random for £1000 (stfu!). PhD and you're spending a Grand on getting the manuscript editted by a stranger? I don't think so. It was nice to discuss literal therory and story structure and everything again. It feels like it's been such a long time, and he was very supportive of my work, adding, before he left, 'don't stop writing.' It made me smile. 

Soon after I had a Lady come in who I had seen before. She'd been in before, but that wasn't it. So as I was showing her our selection of finely stuffed Money Boxes I asked, 'do I know you from somewhere?'. She looked at me oddly and denied it, like anyone would if you were asked said question by said man in the quietest section of a shop. I persisted: 'are you an actress?' she started to twig, and smiled replying 'yes.' 'Were you in Misfits?' I continued, and she finally caved, saying that she had been spotted. I knew it was her the first time she had come in, but I hadn't asked, and now I had, the Hot Parole Officer Sally from Series One was in my shop!


The day was getting on, and I had one final customer who either made my day, or called me fat. We were talking about facemasks. And I had said something along the lines of 'my face is too big to fit in that one.' I don't know how she took that, I have a big head, it's entirely in proportion to the rest of me I should add (ladies *creepy wink*), but a big head nonetheless. Her reply was simply 'like Mr. Incredible.' O-kay, I wouldn't have thought of it like that, but sure. She asked me to take it as a compliment, but whatevs. Two-out-of-three good things aren't bad like.

I'm getting more and more concerned that I'm going to be wasting my holiday most of next week, and I don't know what to do about it. It looks like in might be raining. Everyone else is in work. I might try and meet some new people, but I can't be bothered at the moment, I know loads of people. I might go walking around in the rain or catch-up on some movies and stuff. I don't want to go holidaying by myself somewhere, because let's face it, that's sad, no matter the holiday. I guess I might just stay in and play xbox or write or something. 

Balls...

Carpe diem...

Tuesday 11 June 2013

Insta-Chinese-Stuff...

A mediocre Monday occurred yesterday, it was nothing special, and nothing bad either, just a Monday...

I awoke in a daze, and very much stayed that way until well after lunchtime when I downed two coffees. I don't think the Nescafe Coffee pouch I had for breakfast was particularly full of caffeine (perhaps I do have a high from it after all).

I don't really have very much to talk about today because all I did last night was bake some cookies, and Pill insists that there are too many for our consumption. He and I also got quite deep again last night (giggity), so much so that we spoke until about 9:30 and then went to watch Wild China without much dinner. It was odd. I had canned soup, and he ate two corn-on-the-cob. 

He and I also realised that we hadn't really had a Chinese in a long while, and we now have the ultimate coffee table for Chinese eating (does that make sense?), so I was thinking Friday. What do you guys think? Or if not, sometime next week? I have 10-days off coming up. I wonder what I'll get up to, I've got nothing planned. Perhaps I'll just get to spend more time writing or something. 

I have some things to do: get a haircut, go home, cook a roast dinner, garden a bit in the rain (oh, yeah, it looks like rain next week. So much for increasing the possibility of Sun, perhaps I'll finish my book.).

I've gotten a little obsessed with Instagram recently, I like photography. Perhaps I'll ask for a camera for my birthday or something, who knows. Is that my thing? Perhaps not: 'knowledge about places and being a people-person' to quote Red. She thought I was an adventurous child and everything (could you imagine that?) Also, knowledge about places? Pill insists that he still doesn't know me. He thinks there's a lot more to know, that I haven't discovered yet. Though I did ask him how I act in an emergency, not that I know whether I've been in an emergency or not. He replied that I was very protective, and also the kind of person to grab a camera.

So, there we are. My flatmate and I spent the evening searching for ourselves, and talking about life and shit (alright, gaay!). He also thinks that I should stop waiting for life and go and find it. I don't think I wait around for life do I?

Carpe diem...

Sunday 9 June 2013

A Cat To The Face...

The weekend that was began on Friday, at the most heavenly hour of 4pm. I having done my daily tasks between the hours of 8am-4pm, I skipped merrily on my way bumping into my father who had been wandering into the store.

After a quick catch-up, we passed the time of day, biodiversity week, and the weather (among other father/son topics), and bowed ourselves a goodbye, I flew into action, rushing home to change, for the plans were erupting about me.

I met Red in town, well after gathering wood, wine, and train tickets, and a splendid adventure west was had when we met up with Cherry. We raced to the station (my way still makes more sense), and boarded the train, without it being too crowded. I was pleasantly surprised, and we only used the tickets to pass the barriers.

Once in Out-Of-Town we set about greeting the cat and Tag, and then it was straight to the garden for some well deserved barbe-relax-fucking-drink-cue, and my was it needed. The men burnt my log for the ladies, the food was half frozen, but microwaves solve problems, and tasty deliciousness and all-round drunkenness (after the men reclaimed some alcohol from a nearby provider) ensued, before the inevitable foreplay-orgy-bit.

Upon waking the next morning, the sunshine welcomed hangovers and showers, and I don't think I've ever smelt so bad in my life. I couldn't even imagine it, sorry guys. I made Red buy me a train ticket, and away we went back to the Diff to prepare for the events of the day. Turns out HSBC aren't the world's local bank to everywhere...

As I showered, I recapped and cleaned because I knew the house was going to be receiving guests in the form of HB and Ducky. Cleaning was easy because Pill was out and about. I left before he returned, but not before the plans for the evening had changed.

I met Tag and Cherry in town, and we wandered about finding different picnic supplies, and gathered Tag an eye appointment and some contact-lenses. We had Wow Bar Sammiches (I had one called a Steakwich. Picture, if you will, finely cut steak, with cheese, onions, toasted bread, and some lettuce). We met up with Red again and waited patiently, in the roasting sunshine, for Wodge and Dingle-all-the-way (but Dingle for short). I should mention at this point that we picnicked on the lawns of the Castle, which is quite an awesome thing to do, if you think about it. It was just a pity about all the litter that was left there by the general public.

We wandered around Bute Park for a short while before realising times and lateness, and ventured back into town for the restaurant experience that was Ask. We waited a while for Wodge and Dingle, who had to go move their car, and the waitress took my concern for their lateness and brought over some drinks (water). They arrived, after getting a tad lost, and food was had. I ate some Mushrooms on Toast, and something that was essentially Gnocchi Carbonara, all topped off with some Sicilian Still Lemonade (lush!).

Instead of going to the cinema, we returned to Out-Of-Town, driven expertly, if not slightly illegally (Lympics!) by Dingle, via a shop for booze, wood, and pudding. I failed to buy the last one. But fires were had, topics were discussed, and I fell asleep on Tag and Cherry's rug with a cat clawing at my face. We were watching a movie called The Room (Hi Danny. Oh, hi Mark...), and I passed out on the floor. Its only the second time I've fallen asleep watching a movie I think. The first was also at Tag and Cherry's and the movie was Pulp Fiction (but that was okay, because I've seen and enjoyed that film before). I snored apparently, and as I woke we prepared for bed. 

Tag kept suggesting that Red and I top and tail (as it were), but let's face it, we're just not there yet. I'm almost certain she thinks I'm a weird-stalker-rapist willing to unleash the Devastator (long story) at any moment (but let's face it, I could be). I offered her the blow-up bed (my usual resting place), but she was insistent on sleeping on the sofa. She also threatened to slap me if I snored, which seemingly stopped me snoring. 

The morning happened with more cat related fun, and then goodbyes needed to occur. Red was confused about the arrangements on getting back to the Diff, but everything was okay in the end. We arrived before Tag and Cherry's working schedules, and Red and I went shopping in M&S finding not only reduced food (how was your breakfast?), but croissants! I brought lots for a grand feast of breakfast for Pill, DarkHorse, HB, and Ducky, as I was convinced that they wouldn't be awake yet.

Red and I stood at the check-out awaiting the hour of 11am when, for some reason, M&S could start selling us things. I came a close second in my scanning race, and we were on our way. I left Red at the Bus, and trotted on my way, getting in to the sight of the quartet still sat on sofas being couples, and still in PJs and without food! I provided, and we feasted.

HB and Ducky left soon after, as their conversations seemed to get kinda quiet while I was around. Which I thought was weird, but there you go, each to their own. I showered, and sat out in the sun with DarkHorse a while, before Pill appeared. We had a BBQ'd second breakfast, and books were read. I'm going a very nice shade of salmon. 

All-in-all, it was a perfectly busy, and wonderfully good weekend spent with some superb people, that I doubt I shall ever stop talking too, or stop hanging out with. Thanks guys!

I think I'll go obsess over my instagram now and bake some cookies, or something like that. Sorry for getting on people's nerves and stepping on toes (I'm good like that)...

Oh yeah, Tag and I made out again.

Carpe diem...

Wednesday 5 June 2013

Things That Were, And Things That Aren't...

Your past is behind you, and there's simply nothing you can do about it. When the world turns it's back on you, you turn your back on the world!...once said a very clever meerkat.

Yesterday, after some difficulty, I finally managed to arrange a table and a sort of plan for Saturday, when Wodge and her OH will be arriving in the Diff to spend time with the others and I. Though during the process Pill started speaking to me about feels again, and he generally thinks that I shouldn't keep anything in (health issues or something).

He said to me something along the lines of: 'you've had a very stressful few weeks, there have been some big changes. Are you okay?'

And I turned around and looked at him and said, 'yeah, I think I am.' I obviously said that everything with work was sorting itself out, and there's nothing to worry about, and that was about it. And then he brought up a few things that I really didn't care about, and nor was it my business to. I don't think that most people grasped the concept of change. I think I'm a better version of me, than I was a year ago, I know for a fact that I'm a different person. 

I am under no illusions or stuck in an fantasies, I'm much stronger and fitter, and I'm more outgoing and adventurous. I have next to no unhealthy relationships, except perhaps with cream cakes and alcohol (not together obviously). And I really don't like it when people are worried about me, I like to know they care, but not worried (if you understand me, I know I can be confusing sometimes...most of the time). 

You should never worry about me. I walk around this town as if I'm the alpha male! I'm the big dog here, and everyone else who doesn't know me should be afraid. Or that's the sort of thinking I want most people to have, in truth, I don't see anyone as a threat, I treat all with equality (which mostly consists of equal amounts of loathing and benefit of the doubt).

The past is the past, I can't go back and change it now. I know I've thought about it, but I've actually got to that point (well, I reached the point ages ago) where those things just don't seem to matter anymore. Past relationships, traumas, fights, the mugging. All of it gone.

And now there's just me...

Carpe diem...

Oh, and I'm not sure where I was going with that whole third person detective narrative thing. It was fun at the time. Maybe I'll pick it up again soon.

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Sunshine and Cocktails...

Tonight, an iPod died in Cardiff. Somebody knows why...somebody knows. He sat there, upon his chair, and stared into the night. The man was very ordinary looking, apart from being a few pounds too heavy, and having a wavy mouse-tail hairstyle. He had just been dismissed, which confused him, and forced him to recap his evening...

The day was one of oddities, he thought, as he remembered having to stay inside when pleasantness was occurring in the outer realms. He did manage to steal a few minutes of sunshine during his breaks, and that was how it started.

The ever delightful Red was in town, spending yet another day off, and made her rounds through the workplaces of her associates. She apparently missed the man, though his colleagues informed him that she had been there. He left her a non-committal message and went about his sunshine. The lovely Cherry was working, and the man ventured forth, beckoned into her workplace by her workmates. The ever delightful Red returned and informed the pair, though namely the man, of the developments.

Cocktails were to be had an entire three days earlier than planned. The man had no idea why, though he suspected that a cat was involved somewhere. So as he completed his daily tasks he was greeted by the ever delightful Red and an upstanding gent. They noticed that the man had changed, as was suggested to him earlier in the day.

The trio moved from the airless shopping centre to the more comfortable street corner, awaiting the arrival of the final couple of their party; the lovely Cherry and a fine character of gent. Despite his insistence, the party moved to a nearby Chicken Eatery, and ate away their cocktail money. And soon after, they maneuvered their way through the city. All-the-while the man was being criticized and complained to because of his decisions.

He thought he'd ignore it, though he did something much worse, he became the joke. The man hated himself, and he simply continued being and doing. The night carried on. The cocktails were expensive, as cocktails tended to be, the group had missed out on the happy hour due to the man's late finish. He did not get drunk, nor did he feel the warmth of the alcohol in his stomach. He was disappointed, though he gathered that everyone else had a nice time...


Carpe diem...

Monday 3 June 2013

I Lost My Soul...

Our hero woke in a daze, his alarm clock flashing 9:30am. The sun was flooding his room through the set of blinds he had failed to close the night before, and there was movement on the horizon. He lingered a while, beneath the covers waiting for awakeness to find him, though upon his bladder's punching he rose and waddled skillfully through the flat...

Hours later, Pill, a very fine gentleman, knocked on our hero's door to inform him of their overcast situation, and therefore the lack of relaxing in the park. Our hero was disappointed by his flatmate's decision, so instead, after a big think and a shower, decided on Sunday Lunch. The idea was welcomed by the very fine gent and his better half, and upon consultation with the ever lovely Red, they were set. 

The town was quiet, people seemed to gather closely together like the weather, and they were all shopping. Our group of heroes turned right into an even quieter street where the sign for Revolution de Cuba could be found. They waited a while to be seated, and began discussing everything but the menu. Simply put, as it was two o'clock somewhere, the protagonists in question took up the alcohol and drank it in their quantity. Our hero, who had had a hard time getting drunk, ordered the most deadly sounding drink on the cocktails menu: a Nuclear Daiquiri. Having no idea what the ingredients were, he drank like Bond, from his cocktail glass, and watched as the green florescent liquid descended down his gullet. Later the waiter informed him of the 63% proof drink he had just consumed, and, happy with himself, our hero ordered another.

The food was wondrous, and the drinks were extra-special, and while the foursome made merry, the sun, and a biker gang, returned to town. The afternoon was warm, and the skies were pale blue. Upon the acquisition of a Frisbee, the group returned to their original plan of relaxing in the park. The day ticked on as they played and the sun began it's hideous descent. As they turned to head home our hero's soul detached from his shoe and he became one of the souless, a walking damned man. But the park was beautiful nonetheless...

Carpe diem...

Sunday 2 June 2013

The Smile That Stays With You...

It was Saturday, and all was well. The birds and bees were doing the rounds, the sun was much higher in the sky than most citizens could handle at that time in the morning, and our hero was preparing himself for the day ahead. 

He managed to miss the majority of the sun, though, donning his shades, he marched to and from town without so much of a good morning or a goodbye from anyone. He passed the usual sights of delivery men delivering, shoppers shopping, and pubs and clubs cleaning their doorsteps. Though there was one thing that caught his eye. A soldier in uniform, sat upon the hard stone, begging. Our hero, a swell guy, ignored the poor man, as was his inclination since moving to the big city, and continued on his way; ever with the thought that the soldier might be hunting him.

Later on in the evening, he had arranged with his flatmate, another person of great standing within the community, to have a small dinner with a few guests. Knowing that two of his associates were out of town, there were only two others they could call upon, one had had her phone eaten by a cat, the other was the ever delightful Red. 

The evening progressed well into the dark with just the four, and a marvelous time was had. Countless drinks were drunk, the embers of the coals shone darkly beneath the grate, and the stars were showing their faces by the time the foursome retreated inside. Many more discussions were had, and a bit more drink, though as with all good things, it soon came time to say goodbye. 

Morning quickly approached, and our willing hero ventured out into the night air with the ever delightful Red, and walked her all the way home. Along the way though, he crossed many lines, and said numerous misconstrued statements allowing him to become the fool. He thought a while after he had left Red at her door, and incorrectly gave directions to a drunk. Our hero seemed convinced that he always crossed the line, and no matter how he did it, he always did for good intentions and the laugh, no matter if one came or not.

Our hero was a simple soul with so many complexities, and upon looking up into the night sky to witness a phenomena that wasn't there, he plugged in his music and marched on home.


Carpe diem...