Friday, 30 July 2010

Born with Identity...

I did something similar to this post in my first year at Trinity.

Recently, just Five-minutes ago, my mother phoned me saying, someone's found your Passport. This being quite peculiar since I thought I had lost it somewhere in the house and had searched for it for a bit. And only just last week I had it cancelled by the Passport Offices.

But now it's been found? Well I say found. Apparently someone was showing it off in a school near where I live, and an older friend of mine noticed that it was my Passport.

Weird or what? Out of all the people in all the world. I didn't even know it was gone until Mum called. I thought it had just fallen behind some furniture. Bizarre.

Anyway, this post is partly inspired by that, but mostly by something I witnessed yesterday, whilst visiting my good friends in Barry (Hi Tag and Cherrybelly!).

Yesterday was an alright excursion. I haven't ever really traveled to Barry, but the day would have been my first excursion into the sanctums of the seaside town. Would you believe it? I had never seen so many marks on society in one place before. And yes people I am talking about the Common CHAV. We ventured into 'Cash Generator' with the promise of some really really really cheap merchandise. And indeed, the promise was there, but so were they!

Cap after Adidas Logos after Sporty One-Pieces and Prams. The horrors of society each with more tattoos than a single prison block. Quite a scary atmosphere. Especially as they all just push in with no manners at all, and one touched me - THE HORROR THE HORROR!

After being groped in the most uncommon place by the PS2 Games, I scuttled quickly and quietly over to the DVDs where the woman, who was shaped like a Cruise Liner, did not follow. We moved on through Barry sampling the shops and such and in every other shop all the people from the 'Cash Generator' seemed to be following us, even my Gorilla-like groper.

We dived into the , amazingly empty, 'Games Station' - which was empty because, I presume, the prices were too high for the majority of the disgraceful residents of the sadly mucky Barry town.

But that was my day in Barry. Now we move on to why I brought it up. Tag was on the phone yesterday, whilst we were all in the room, to the Xbox Company - Microsoft - because his poor 2-Year-Old 360 seems to have given up the ghost without any such warning or indication of doing. Anyway Tag had to register over the phone. And it got me thinking. My, my, don't we have a lot of numbers and details to our name?

Home Phone, Mobile Numbers, Postcodes, Street Addresses, First Names, Surnames, Middle Names, PINs, Passwords, Emails, Keys, Cars, Likes, Dislikes, Descriptions, and so on.

It's a bloody long list don't you think?

Was it ever simpler in simpler times do you think?

All I hope now is, that the young fellow who has apparently apprehended my Passport without reporting it to the Police, hasn't been using my identity to by Booze, Fags (Cigarettes American Readers, Cigarettes, not packaged Gay People), Drugs, or Prostitutes.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Question: If you could have named your self, and given yourself a country of origin at birth, what would you now be called and where would you be from?

Monday, 26 July 2010

Discipline, Discipline, Discipline...

So, it's been a while hasn't it?

Yep, yet again I'm proving to myself that if something I enjoy and is good for me is going to become like a burden to me just because I think it is. Don't look like that, I don't know what I just said either.

So, it's been a are you guys?

I've not been up to much really. It's been a typically mediocre set of weeks, with a downer on things. My Father's car has become null and void. And then, after my Grandfather was diagnosed as ill, my Mother's car became poorly as well. And we being a family who are worse off than others, but better off than the poor, cannot afford to replace either, really. But we're going to have to I suppose.

Moving on to a brighter subject. I've finished Left 4 Dead 2 today, with my friend Clareg. Zombies die, and unfortunately so did everyone else, very many times. I don't know whether that was a brighter subject at all.


I've been having difficulty with this Sci-fi story I'm writing on the request of a certain HB Sauce. I began writing it over the Christmas Holidays. But I had to leave it for many months in order to focus on certain school works. And now I have tried to return to it, though it appears I stopped, at Christmas, half-way through a sentence. God I'm such a silly writer. Half-way through a sentence, who's that stupid?

Anywho, I'm back on it now and I hope things will go well for it. I've got to write it. I've got to try. It was getting to be such a good story. But these things happen I suppose. It will get written. And I'm even thinking of making it another blog - what do you think?

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Sherlock = Awesomely Good Sunday Night Viewing.
P.S.S. Cherrybelly and Tag, you'd best get your blogs in gear. I need something to read into the lives of you two! Come on. I'll make it easy...that's right, a question.
P.S.S.S. The Question: If you were a Superhero, what would your powers be and what would your Superhero name be?

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Predator Vs. Clooney...


Wow, that was the first one of those I've ever done...

So yes, yesterday I went to the cinema with the lovely Miss HB Sauce, and we watched the hell out of 'Predators' - otherwise known as 'A Sci-fi BOOM-BOOM-POW' or 'You know those Aliens we don't call Aliens? Well, they're back!'

Yep, the Predators - well, we say Predators. It's true that there are more than one Predator, thus the plural, though I was kinda expecting more than four. The trailer made it out to be loads. I was waiting for an entire Cohort - but no, four. We got to see three at work in AVP1 - there was only one in AVP2 for God's sake! And that kicked some ass.

But no, they only hunt in threes apparently - damn it - I wanted to see an army of growly-four-fanged-flappy-mouthed Aliens take on a whole planet of two-mouthed-acidic Aliens. Cos, honestly that would be cool.

BASIC PLOT: Eight of the world's (and I mean planet Earth's) deadliest deadliest people are rounded up but the Predators, and are dropped on a jungle planet - unbeknown to them (the people). Yes, now to stereotype - for as Clooney says in 'Up In The Air' 'It's Faster' - it did look like 'Lost' (yeah, I stereotyped Lost - how does it feel Tag? Hi Tag!) for quite a while. Eight people, who don't know each other (but have massive weapons, for the most part), wander through this jungle, not knowing it's not Earth, until there's a rustling in the bushes. HB and I joked for a while that it was going to be a Polar Bear, but no - some horny dogs, some horny horny dogs.

Dun, dun, DUN!!!

Yes, now we know we're not in Kansas any more. But if you're as smart, or even smarter than HB Sauce or I then you'd have known this already.

But - moving on - it's a fun film - full of explosions, and a great, albeit short, sword fight. Weird don't you think, but they fought just like something out of an Anime.

It just needs more Aliens (as in the Predator Aliens and now the Alien Aliens).

Up In The Air is a good film. My brother bought it for my mother's birthday -she enjoyed it, he enjoyed it, and I've enjoyed it. It's funny, happy, emotional, sad, and realistic, all at the same time. It's brill.

Yesterday I also watched, for the first time, Teen Cribs. I hate those little shits - showing off the houses they don't own. It just makes me angry - Grrrr...

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Yes, a Triple-Kill...

So yesterday I was encaged in what some might describe as a Gaming Day.

My good friend Clareg invited me, and my brother to his house yesterday. Where, upon arrival we were welcomed into the day's most geeky past-time (or should I say nerdy?) of Gaming.

We started out, as we usually do, after telling my brother that 'no we're not going to take it in turns to play Bad Company because it's multiplayer exists on the idea that people with Xboxs don't actually have any real friends and thus must just play by themselves with their friends online and no in real life.' Clareg and I, and out belated friend Ireland (who arrived an hour later) told him that the only way to play our multiplayer was with four controls. He backed down. And we returned to a station we had left in our early/late/post teenage lives - Halo.

As always, halo didn't disappoint (well ODST did, but Halo 3 Online will still be awesome). Well fought our way through hundreds of online Spartans and Elites, slaughtering the masses as we roamed. It was a very good reminiscing point in our lives.

Until, that is, when we tried the other games on the Halo 3 Online feature, which didn't really involve killing. Then, we discovered, we weren't really that good at an objective based game, mainly because we'd never come across them before and didn't know how to play. But we found this one game called 'Sumo' - or to put it simply, Hammers, Warthogs, and a giant arena suspended in mid-air. Loads of fun.

So that was the first 6 or so hours of our Gaming day. Then we moved on to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - which is a game I haven't really played. But having a taste of realistic war is just sickening - especially when the opposing team have a helicopter waiting to take you out of sight, and you've got no cover to hide from it. Death is bad. But I've never died to many times in a bookshop before, I'll tell you that. That was 2 hours more.

Now for the final hour-and-a-half we played, we ended up playing 'FIFA '10' - that's right, a football game. I was highly skeptical and disliked the idea, but after lamenting that 'Time Splitters 2' wasn't a backwards compatible game, we had no other options.

(God damn it Microsoft, it was one of the best selling Xbox games of all time - make it backwards compatible!)

FIFA was alright it turns out. And I ended up getting the fabled 'Triple-Kill' Achievement that I had so longed for in Halo, but acquired in FIFA (if only it was a real achievement on that football game). I came in from the side, all four of us were fighting over the ball, so I just slide tackled all of us and the game was paused and paused and replayed and paused again. I was congratulated and scorned and then inevitably yellow-carded.

And after 9.5 hours of Gameplay we ceased for some much needed food and sleep. It was a good day. Very much enjoyable.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Sorry if you didn't understand any of that. Just go in the knowledge that it was a fun thing to do for a person of my gender and generation.

Sunday, 11 July 2010

The Ungrateful Surprise...

It was my mother's 50th on Friday...

SURPRISE!!! Cried the crowd through the walls of a nearby friend's house as my mother entered her kitchen and immediately became that poor little rodent caught in those poor little headlights. The poor little rodent, my mother, and the poor little headlights, most of the people my mother knows, cried and laughed and celebrated my mother's birthday - just a day late.

It was great. She didn't know a thing, and nor did she know she didn't know. And it's not easy to keep that wool pulled over my mother's eyes. And luckily she, as I have said before, didn't know. Otherwise the special surprise birthday party was a surprise.

The injuries sustained in such conspiracy to make a party were as follows: lack of sleep from start to end, my wallet was badly bruised and emptied by the course of the week, sore as saddles legs, and finally a bop of the nose from a particularly sleep-deprived brother of mine. The things I do in the line of a party.

But now it's a night after the day before. And today, whilst my sister was at work, my mother asked me whether or not I would set up my sister's entertainment system as a thank you for her. My mother thinking my sister was the only one to have done anything for this party...


...moving on. I managed to set up the entertainment system and thought, after I had moved all my sister's crap (my God, my sister's got a lot of crap), and arranged the system in the most economical fashion I thought, I have to wait and see whether she likes it or not.

4:30 comes, my sister returns looks at her room, and is not grateful for the wonderfully set up masterpiece of work, which happened to take up my entire day off. Time I could have used to write something worth while (I miss writing soo much - he cries).

So after realising that my entire day had yet again been wasted I wrote on Facebook - a well known and widely used social networking site - 'Thomas Edward Ajax-Lewis hates it when he does nice things...' (9:44pm). Look, I explained the status, isn't that good?

I really want to write. Perhaps I'll get one of my muses to give me a topic for one of my speed poems (some of which are good - or so I'm assured).

I hope this week is better after I screwed up last week.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Sorry this isn't a very funny blog, I'm just in one of those funny moods.
P.S.S. Oh...this is what they call a rant.

Saturday, 10 July 2010

Oxfordshire Ramblings...

When did it get so hard to get up at 8:30?!

So, yesterday my Mother, Brother, and I got in the car at a silly time in the morning to go a visiting our beloved and well distanced (as in miles) Grandfather in the lovely and very English county of Oxfordshire.

It was decided early on that my brother and I should explore the lovely workings of the inner city of the fine county while Grandpa and Mum got on with other more important things. So for a ploy of entertainment we were dropped off on the outer town-ish area and we proceeded towards the lovely interior.

Crossing the wide River Cherwell across the prestigious Magdalen Bridge walking towards the famous Magdalen College you find yourself swamped with, not only a massive amount of beauty found in the architecture of the ancient city, but swathes and swathes of tourists. I know my brother and I were just visiting, and that happened to be one of our few times venturing into the centre of the royal city, but we had been visiting the county for some time now - believe it or not, for as long as our grandparents had lived there, which just so happens to be all our lives. So we're locals now I suppose - aren't we?

Whilst crossing the bridge on one side, there must have been a College Open Day/Graduation Ceremony/Walking Tour happening on the other side of the bridge because as we entered on one side about two-hundred people exited on the other side, they were all wearing their boaters (it's a type of hat) and jumping along simultaneously. It was soo bizarre - but hugely entertaining (as was the aim of the trip).

And speaking of entertaining, whilst trying to shop - it being my mother's birthday right now today this very moment, well it will be tomorrow by the time this is posted - we exited a shopping centre after rummaging through the Game and Game Station, and Next (as I reminded my brother that it was our mother's birthday tomorrow) we came across and entire brass band finishing a rendition of 'Hey Jude' by the Beetles. Then later on - as we couldn't stay and watch the brass band because my brother wasn't willing to - we bumped into a woman singing Opera whilst busking. I thought to my self, and to my brother, 'Bloody Hell! In Bridgend we've only got One Pipper, and In Carmarthen all I've seen is a pair of Fiddlers' (we chuckled). The cities must be rolling in it, to have such events (I know they are, I'm not a simpleton).

Anyway, the problem I find with cities is that they're full of people, and they're often far too large. A problem I don't often counter because of living in such places as Bridgend and Carmarthen. I like the country, I was born to the country and I will hopefully die there too (who knows, mauled by a humungous bear, or perhaps just a really hungry house cat). I am against the hunt, not because I'm urban, but because I'm the son of Nigel John Ajax-Lewis, Chief Conservation Officer of South and West Wales. You need to conserve what you can. But I'm getting off the subject...

As I said, cities are far too large for what they are. But that's not why I complain. I complain because our blessed mother told us that it was just three miles home - well to grandpa's home - from town. So we thought, it's a nice day, why not walk back? (I had just treated my brother to a Pizza Hut so we were quite refreshed - you still owe me £10 you bastard!) We walked for about two-and-a-half hours stopping along the way to buy even more fluids - it was a really warm day. We got home and were informed by our grandfather that the trip was actually closer to six miles. Now I'm a fan of walking, and I can walk more than six miles on a good day, but yesterday was not a good walking-day weather day. The sun was so very warm and you could feel the heat bouncing from the pavement - and I had neither hat nor shades. Either way it was a good day out.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

2.1s and Haircut Tongs...

Today, I am pleased to inform you, I passed my second year of university.

Yes, yes, thank you very much for your gratitude and praise. It is quite an achievement - I'm over halfway there now. But what the devil will I be doing with myself after the third year? A Masters Degree I can't afford? Writing full-time? (I wish) Perhaps I'll get a column in one of the many local papers there are in the world - you know, the Times, the Telegraph, Rolling Stone Magazine, you know, the small ones.

Well I suppose you want to know what I got in order for me to pass this time...well I shalt not disappoint:

Centres and Peripheries - 50+65 = 54 (2.2)
Writing Workshop - 65 = 65 (2.1)
The Poetics of Form - 55 = 55 (2.2)
(Well that was semester one, can you believe it? That was such a long time ago)
The Business of Writing - 62 = 62 (2.1)
Creative Project - 62+67 = 66 (2.1)
Film and Adaptation - 57 = 57 (2.2)

And overall - if I do the magical sum of averages we get:

54+65+55+62+66+57 and divide all that by 6 we get...
= 59.83333333333333333333333333333333333 (well let's just call it 60 - yay a 2.1!)

In other news.

I got a haircut today. And may I say, it's very cool, and very appropriate for the summer months. For all of you who were jealous of or loved my precious locks of hair then may I direct you to the barber shop floor where the remnants may still be.

Something Tag brought up in his Vlog from this morning - found here - what is the difference between being a geek (which I class myself as) and a nerd (which Tag classes himself as). Well may I now turn to a trusted quick time saver and not in anyway an exam cheating machine - Wikipedia:

The word geek is a slang term, noting individuals as "One who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc." Formerly, the term referred to a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken, bat, snake, or bugs. The 1976 edition of the American Heritage Dictionary included only the definition regarding geek shows.

Nerd is a term, often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who avidly pursues intellectual activities, technicolor scientific endeavors, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests, rather than engaging in more social or conventional activities. The nerd may be awkward, shy and unattractive. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers, or will tend to associate with like-minded people.


Are we either of those?! Possibly aspects of both realms, though might I say dear Tag that you do seem to fall into the Nerd category (a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers) and I seem to fall under the geek's bit (biting the head off a live chicken, bat, snake, or bugs). Weird. So you were right, nerds are not geeks, and I probably will be following you into the realms of nerdom as soon as my next nerdy action arrives.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. That's my new haircut at the top there. Strange I know.
P.S.S. I've been writing these really quick poems and I need topics from my muses so if you'd be so kind then post your ideas as comments.
P.S.S.S. There was something else I was about to say...oh yeah - Tag! You didn't say 'I smell a smelly smell, smell smell smelly you.' Please would you?
P.S.S.S.S. A new question is required for you to answer. What in your opinion is the best film to have been released within the British Isles in recent years?
P.S.S.S.S.S. I've linked your blog in this blog so you have to do what I say - that means you Tag (Hi Tag).
P.S.S.S.S.S.S. That is all...

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Happy Independence Day...

That's right, it's the down fall of the Red Coat's Anniversary... some of you might know July 4th is a good day if you're an American. It is apparently a bad day if you're a British-an. Yes, yes, it's the anniversary of the day that we (the good guys) lost the Americas to them (the bad guys - Hi Sunshine and Duckface if you read this). I know, I know - but Tom, this is being very anti-american today, on such an American day. And I say again - I know, I know. But the thing is...

If the Americans - I don't know why they called themselves that, they weren't born there-ians - hadn't revolted, just like the French, the rest of Europe, and eventually the Russians, then Britian would still be Great (not that it didn't stop us from keeping the title) and not the CHAV filled, incestuous, immigrant holiday destination that it is today. Hmm - Hi all my American Friends, I love you really.

On anther note: we Brits actually revolted long before the French did. Ours was also far more successful - and no one really died. We kept our Monarch, we gained our Parliment (The House of Commons), and we arrived at the British Right to own a home with a Garden, and an Undisturbed Sunday Afternoon. That was the world's first and most successful revolution - and I'm not saying that just because I'm British (he lied).

Rant over?

Today Tag made me a video montage sort of thing involving my Ffrinj Festival effort. As stated before in 'How to make Canadian's Swear...' it wasn't very good/well prepared. But, for what they were given, the people who presented it hopefully had a good time, even though I don't think they were volunteers. Anywho, without further ado here's Tag's Video:

Returning to a nice blog, I had something else to say, so I shall keep on typing it until I remember what it was...(or maybe not).

Erm...embarassing, I don't seem to be able to remember - the excitement of Tag's Video (Hi Tag) has driven it out.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Yay - one more follower...Hi Niti.
P.S.S. I miss the question giving in these things, as it appears that Tag is reverting to a Vlog so perhaps I can challenge him to do things. That sounds good to me. So Tag, in your next Vlog - I wish you to answer this question: 'What would you be doing in life if you weren't a geek?' (that question is open to anyone by the way, and if you wish to change the word 'geek' to whichever word best describes you - writer would be a good one - then you can - but you can't Tag).
P.S.S.S. Tag, you also must say the sentence: 'I smell a smelly smell, smell smell smelly you.'