Wednesday, 31 July 2013

No, I'm Spartacus!...

A day of cleaning, television, and writing awaits me, but first I started a new exercise regime. I think you'll agree the old one wasn't getting me anywhere, and I will admit that was mainly to do with eating out all the time, and not having any food in the house so falling for a takeaway, which is exactly what happened last night...

Pill and I have been working long hours, and despite getting home at 4pm almost daily he then spends a few hours working on his dissertation, so we basically do the same hours at the moment. So when I got back yesterday (payday) neither of us had done any shopping and our fridge was filled with drinks and condiments, and nothing worth making a meal out of. I offered to buy Pizza Hut and we slobbed and watched Pokemon Movie 2000, which was something Pill hadn't seen before. He enjoyed obvs. 

There's a TV Series we could all watch again, Pokemon!...

Gone are the days of Date Night Sunday, what're we gonna do without the Returned? Actual scary films or perhaps The Lord of the Rings?! Pirates?! But we should really finish Harry Potter before we try any of that.

Anyway, exercise... It's called the Spartacus Workout (google it) and Clareg recommends it for burning fat in the fastest way. You basically do a set of ten exercises for 30, 40, or 60 seconds a piece, and you repeat if you want a harder workout. And the exercises are mainly thigh related (the largest muscle group) so if I also start eating a little better than I am now, and if I reduce my drinking (occasionally) I might end up looking a little something like this... 

Only fatter, larger, and brilliant in every way, so probably a bit more like this...

...alright, gay...

But anyway. Pill got quite ill after the pizza, but he lives to tell the tale. I've brought the final things I require from Amazon, Pill's lending me a telescope which is awesome. I'm not sure I'll have a weapon, I can't find one I like. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place, but the end of the month cometh. Red has now marked us all down for her crew as well. The steampunk charms be awesome!

I wouldn't mind playing Game of Thrones again...maybe later. Today I must buy a bag and possibly some food, though I'm not sure how important food is compared to material goods...

Carpe diem...

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Purge Me Now!...

*disclaimer: the thoughts and opinions in this blog are entirely my own and no one else's, unless of course they are Red's.

...that just looks painful. What did they do to deserve that punishment?...

FUCK! I just burnt my fingers on the Iron!...

First thoughts; what a bloody moron, he's just asking to be killed in the Purge because he's such an idiot. But when I say, I wasn't ironing, and the iron was left, abandoned in the living room, plugged into the wall, and switched on, I don't sound like such a fool. Okay, but how did you burn your fingers? You might ask. Well, this is pretty much the moronic bit. I stroke the iron plate almost every morning, to determine whether or not Pill has ironed, and how long ago it was. I know that's stupid/creepy/odd, but I think you'll agree, I'm quite a tactile person.

And apart from that little insight into my weirdness, my hair has started falling out, I think the dent in my head is getting bigger. Is this all a part of getting older?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I can be normal. When I'm quiet, mostly, but how rare is that? I've started restraining myself in the sickness, racist, any-kind-of-joke-way that I attempt to do when I feel there needs to be a laugh somewhere there doesn't really need to be one. I've done this mainly at the daily commitments, but every little helps.

I'm just having one of those weeks I think. I've been slaving all weekend, and now into the week, the general staff are all back and I think something strange has gone down because everyone's in a very focused life view of things. Even when I got into the back of Tag's car on Sunday I had managed to piss of everyone by being there, to be fair, I had been fucking with Red the entire time (do I mean that figuratively or literally? - again, too far? Ignore me). Then I was aggressively asked why I was looking at another menu instead of the one we were going to be ordering from? (the food wasn't quite right, you are correct in thinking that). I sat on the arm chair away from people, and watched The Returned. It was good, but it wasn't the grand finale I thought it was going to be, but it is somewhat going the way of Lost I think (i.e. Channel 4 has it now, but after series 2 Sky will buy it and force us to wait even longer for outcomes). We've also, now got to be friends in a year's time, as paraphrased/quoted from someone else. Which, if you think about it, a lot can happen in a year. For instance, this time last year, HB wasn't talking to me, I was on the dole, quiet, lonely, and living at home. Also LYMPICS! A lot can happen in a year. 

Apparently I need to be more confident. I thought I was confident, but maybe I've been straying into the land of arrogance and ignorance far too often. Am I a racist? Probably not, I think I hate equal numbers of everyone from every background and origin. I'm really pissed off that a Thief got away with something I and a few others stopped him doing on more than four separate occasions.

And after the Returned, we watched the Purge. I don't think I had much interest in the film in the first place, and I didn't know much about it, but when the opening credits bit occurred and told me the ENTIRE premise I was amazed it even got green lit. I don't like Ethan Hawke at the best of times, from Dead Poets to Daybreakers. He looks odd, he moves funnily, and he's always seemed slimy. SPOILER ALERT he dies in this film for a stupid reason too, but I think I'm getting ahead of myself. 

The idea behind the film being, just one night a year everything illegal, becomes legal, just to get the animal urges to kill, rape, murder, shag lampposts, and shit on lawns out of the way for the rest of the year. Oh, and this rule only applies to 'Merica! because why the fuck not. And quite frankly, as someone said, that sort of idea wouldn't even spring to mind in the the thoughts of Our Parliament. They'd just bring back the death penalty, easier, simpler, and the people who have done things wrong, get to pay for their crimes, and not the Purge. A film about the 1% killing the 99% due to increased funds, fun, and guns. Unemployment low, due to the unemployed and homeless getting killed every Purge Night lacking the means to defend themselves, economy okay due to not having the unemployed and homeless to support, way of life okay until Purge Night when you all say its okay until someone breaks in, tries to murder you and then rape your corpses. It's a stupid fucking film. Can we watch something actually scary/jumpy next week that gets us thinking there are things in the dark?

I don't know, maybe I'm just in a bad mood for some reason. Tag thought something was up, over coffee yesterday morning. I don't think anything's up, but now I've thought about it, maybe. I've had a night-out cancelled this week, but Pill's Friday Get-Together is going to be one, who knew?!

Who had bets on whether Pill would do the washing up and tidying from Friday/Saturday nights? I returned yesterday to the same state it was in when I left it Sunday Morning. Nut shells on the table, beer can discarded and empty next to that, (right where I left you) washing up littering the sink and oven top, towels on the floor in the bathroom (not where I left you).

Perhaps I'm just being a bit of a pushover buying people shit, doing things for them, and then being a dick about it the entire time. Or maybe I'm not. What, what? Anyone got any thoughts?

Carpe diem...

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Change The Record...

So, Tag got me some Mumford and Sons and Of Monsters and Men music, and I think they're both a great accompaniment to Frank (as much as I'm sure you'll hate to hear that).

My iPod has been playing the same playlist since Christmas, I think, and I know its time for a change. There are songs I know and wonder what the hell they're doing on the playlist, there are songs I skip instantly, and there's just no fusion between the melodies; I've got the fast passed Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet next to How To Save A Life by The Fray - it just doesn't work. 

I need multiple playlists, because I'm not satisfied with just listening to one artist all the time, and it gets tedious switching between different songs I'm in the mood for. It's weird. I'll probably just sit down and go through all my music again, and see what happens. And the same can be said for my playlist titled 'EPIC Writing' (the former one being called 'Goodness'), which is essentially a mixture of really epic soundtracks, video games, and just epic music. If I played it in my car as I drove I pictured myself going to slay dragons and having loads of adventures, though the screaming singing when you're alone in your car at times was awesome. And I mean that as in singing at the top of your voice and not the screamy music most gothic metal bands seem to enjoy.

There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will be over and buried with our past
We used to play outside when we were young
And full of life and full of love.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right
Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear.

But anyway, moving on. I just checked up something Red was saying (a few times, the geek) about Age of Empires. I managed to skip the Empires games through my childhood, I had Age of Mythology, which I'm told was quite bad, though I enjoyed it very much with Arkantos and Ajax and Cherion - they all kicked Osiris' ass, and I do mean that. But I just checked on steam and the Age of Empires 2 HD is £14.99, though the none HD more cartoony version Age of Empires Online is actually free (what, what?) so I'm sure this whole Player vs. Player thing could go down in the near future if peeps want it to. 

Oooo! Let's LAN-Party it up! (hahahahaha)

It's Double Date Night tonight, and of course it's a double date! Tag and I have finally expressed our love for one and other, the Tostesterone filled afternoon saw to that, and Cherry, you can have Red, or Red, you can have Cherry (we don't mind the order). I had hoped you'd forgotten about the wine, but of course I'll bring it. It was gathering dust in my wine rack. Double-bill of the Returned time! The last two episodes! What are we going to fill Date Night with now?!

I hear Tag's got that sorted...

Carpe diem...

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Winter is Coming, A-gain!...

Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Baaaaaaaa...

That's enough of that right now. 

The Game of Thrones board game isn't actually that bad when you know how to play. But it did get a lot like Monopoly towards the end as it had gone on for six-hours and everyone bar the winners had given up on life. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but you know the point in Monopoly when you start giving up? The one where just one person seems to have all the money and no one else can possibly win, but you've got to go around giving away your money, mortgaging (Death Gripping - not a Star Wars reference at all but a bit of Latin for your ears. Mort = Death and Gage = Grip) your properties, and then going through the whole bankrupting process. You know you're going to lose. No one, apart from Banks and J.K. Rowling has gone from being bankrupt to being wealthy again.

But I digress...

We gathered in our humble abode, after Tag and I had finished watching Fast 5 and Fast 6. It was one hell of a Tostesterone filled afternoon. Epicness, Splosions!, and Vin Diesel. I can't wait for Fast 7 (the final one) and Red and Tag have said they'd come with me to go see it. So why didn't we see Fast 6 in the cinema? Could you imagine the Splosions! on the big screen. Plus the ultimate heroic thing of catapulting yourself off a car, after you've just blown up a tank, across a bridge to catch a woman in mid-air (Superman-style) only to land, bank first into another car's windscreen, and for the woman to be the only one in pain. 

And then Pizza, Drinking, and Game of Thrones happened. 

The guy in the shop said that the game would be very good if you have 3-6 dedicated players to play with. Little did he know, that we were not reading the Game of Thrones, but were huge fans of the TV-Series (save one of us), and that we were in no way dedicated to the rules of play, nor to the facts and figures involved in playing. Red had no idea what was going on. No of us knew how to play, the 32-page rule book and numerous internet videos sought to that, but she had the added lack of Game of Thrones knowledge.

Pill was Baratheon, DarkHorse lingered as Lanister, Tag was Tyrell (pretty, pretty flowers), Cherry was House Stark, Red was Martell, and I was the Greyjoys. So we set about explaining to Red everyone's relationships to each other.

'First of all you should know, Pill is a cunt, you can call him that, it's fine. And that Cherry, Tag, Red, and DarkHorse are all fucking Pill. Tag is fucking Pill's brother, Red is fucking Pill's other brother, Tag's sister is fucking Pill, Cherry's sister was fucking Pill, Pill's father used to sleep with DarkHorse's Daughter along with everyone else. DarkHorse's Daughter fucks DarkHorse's Son (or vice versa), and the Greyjoys like to fuck themselves. 

Simple enough for you?

Either way, we toasted, we drank, we ate a pizza the size of Pill, twice, and we played the hell out of that board game. It would have been much better if we played it quicker than we did. A 3-hour game would have been long enough I reckon, if we ever all play at once again.

Now I'm looking forward to Date Night Sunday with a double-bill of the Returned! (squee!) But can it possibly top the levels of awesomeness from my Tostesterone filled afternoon/evening? I'll let you know.

Carpe diem...

Friday, 26 July 2013

The Crawl...

The Swingers and I went to watch The World's End the other day (Bacon Wednesdays) and throughout it, despite being wonderfully refreshed after spending the day with Cherry and Red drinking, eating, and shopping, I couldn't help but get the thirst desperado feeling only a man marooned in the desert gets as he stares at a glass of water he can't reach evaporating. I don't think it helped that the cinema itself was the same temperature as a desert, and the cornettos we had (kindly provided by Cherry) did not help the thirst. If you didn't know, The World's End is essentially (Hi Tag!) about a pub crawl. And if you want to know more you should probably go check out Red's blog here...

But it got me thinking, let's do a crawl of our own. I've not quite figured out the basics, but I think if everyone buys their own drinks it'll avoid arguing over who's round it is. Some generous souls might provide shots throughout (or halfway). And the ladies can drink their own girly drinks (or perhaps Gin and Tonics a la film?). Either way it's got to be the equivalent to a pint's content or whatever. But as for the circuit, I've been thinking about that too. And you know how much I love a good map...

1. The Westgate
We'll start at the Westgate, not only an obvious starting point, as it is a few steps from our base (Pill and I's house), but also, symbolically, the doorway we all entered the real world and Cardiff from the West (i.e. Carmarthen, Big End, or Ponty).

2. The Gatekeeper
Obviously, as we enter the city, we need to pay the Gatekeeper, and where better to do this than at the home of the man himself?

3. The Queen's Vaults
And then, as we intend to get blind drunk, I think we should pay homage to our country's Royals, starting, obviously with the Queen herself. We should raid the vaults and wet the new Royal's head.

4. O'Neils
Moving swiftly to the Irish Quarter we'll show them what the Welsh are made of and finish our fourth drinks and walk out of there, heads held high, and arms linked in a River Dance.

5. The Prince of Wales
The second Royal to receive our blessing of the evening, the Prince of Wales, our Prince. He shall quench our thirsts and we shall move on.

6. The Great Western
Then we pay homage to the form of transport that carried most of us to this beautiful city. The Great Western, not only our main haunt, but the place we met.

7. Duke of Wellington
Now for the man who helped provide us our freedoms from Europe. A toast to Wellington, and his generals, one of which resided in Carmarthen (hence Monument Hill).

8. The Borough
Then we toast to the Borough we now call home. The great city of Cardiff!

9. The Owain Glyndwr
But let us not forget our past. We are Welsh, we are free, and Owain Glyndwr cemented himself as the icon of our Welsh identity.

10. The Rummer Tavern
A place to remember that we are an island nation, and a great one at that. We shall never forget that Britannia Rules the Waves! 

11. The Goat Major
Our Army's Mascot, the great welsh buck, Royal, Deadly, and Completely Welsh. A toast to that glorious beast.

12. Dempseys
And finally we finish in the oldest establishment in town. The talk of Cardiff since 1720. We finish on the very foundations of a city, and celebrate our triumph with a lot of music and dancing.

How's that for a slice of fried gold? (should that question mark be there?)

Carpe diem...

Tuesday, 23 July 2013


Let's face it, I've had some pretty fun weekends, but last weekend took all the biscuits, ate all the pies, and generally stomped on that belief that life couldn't get much better...

And do you know why? Because I did something new, and I enjoy doing somethings new. I enjoy them very much, although there is the risk of disliking the new thing. For instance, I don't like high board diving, I've done it, and I don't like it - or falling in general for that matter. But last weekend, we the special chosen ones, ventured to the oldest pub in the Diff and sat in a stuffy upstairs room, paid to be there, and viewed a lovely acoustic concert put on just for us. 

We were mainly there to cheer on Cherry's Friend's Boyfriend, which we did. And then, as the evening went on, other bands started to appear, like wild pokemon, and entertain the hell out of us. If only there was a large room for dancing and not upsetting the band with your poor dance moves. Oh well. 

So we heard from Jack Barnett, Firewood Island, and Old Colours and they were all very very good. Tag and Cherry had to leave for a train about half way through though. But that left the drunk pair Red and I to enjoy the rest of the gig, and to then see another gig downstairs, wander over to Live Lounge for a dance, complain about the size of the bag she was carrying, contemplate seeing her boss in Pulse, walking to the Bay, getting Subway, trying to get into a rave tent, and then sitting in the moonlight getting blown about by a nice sea breeze. It was a good night out, and you don't get many nights out that start with a gig, so I'd be more than willing to try that again. 

I want to go proper dancing and clubbing again, but not in the crappy clubs. Payday is next week, possibilities and all that jazz!

Then on the Sunday, instead of Date Night, I had a shift that lasted 12hours until I was sent home purely because I had work in the morning. 2am is a funny time to be getting back from work, to say the least.

And Pill loved his present from me, and is now planning a Friday night in with Rocket Joes pizza (look it up), drink, and the Game of Thrones board game. Just to warn you.

The World's End is happening tomorrow, and I can't bloody wait. I'm sure it's been ages since Hot Fuzz, we need another cornetto, and I want to relive watching a WrightPeggFrost movie in the cinema, and rekindle some childhood memories (I'm not that old!)

Day off tomorrow, endless uncertainties to come. Bring it on... (Amandi!)

Carpe diem...

Saturday, 20 July 2013

Writing A Bit...

I think you all know by now that I tend to write about what I know (which I know, isn't very much - oh be belittled himself again), and as such the world of Palurin came about. For those of you who don't know, Palurin is my fantasy realm where epic adventures happen to all my characters, and not all have happily-ever-afters. They're not that sort of story/plot/narrative. Something things happen to my characters to build them up, and make them seem more normal than fantastical, and somethings happen to them that need to happen to drive the story forward, and the inevitable end I foresee for them all. 

However, there is also one other aspect about my characters that most people don't know. They're all based on real people I know. Some characters I enjoy writing, and I don't get to speak with or see the person they're based on for a very long time, and other characters I don't really like writing even though I know the real person and I know they wouldn't do half the things their character does. But there is one thing I can assure you, you do have a character, and they are living in my world, the world I created when I was eight, and the one I occasionally visit, though not as often as I'd like, and you've only made it there because you're significant to me, or you used to be. I'm sure you can put the pieces together, I've even posted some of them to Apprentice, Lamia, Culling, and Prey being just a few (guess who they're about if you can).

But something in the week got me thinking about a new character. So please bare with me, and let me know what you think. It is only a first draft after all...

Carpe diem...

‘From a seafaring shore, far in the stormy northern waves, a tyrant rides the white horses they say.’ The tavern was a quiet place. A storm raged outside, and all decent folk had retreated to their homes. The odd traveller had sought refuge in the tavern, but not many, and none of them cared to hear a story from a drunken sailor. Though, he had spiked the curiosity of the barmaid who wiped down the table next to him.
‘Do they now?’ she asked, standing upright again. The drunken man turned to face the maid he hadn’t seen before, and threw all his attention on her.
‘Yes they do. The Red Captain sailing his Crimson Tabby, a fearless vessel; plundered a thousand ships, and pillaged a hundred villages, the bane of Elledjhon himself.’
‘One ship the bane of an Empire?’ The maid pressed for more details, allowing the rag in her hand to drip freely on the floor and slowly dry.
‘Oh yes, the Red Captain and his crew, daringly defiant in the face of death. They’ve fought off a dozen ships, some of the Elledjhon’s fleet, and sank them all. No survivors.’
‘So how do you know any of this is there weren’t survivors?’ the girl was quick witted and saw a lie when she was told one. His bloodshot eyes darted from her elegant blue ones like an untouched pool of sapphires caught in the sunlight.
‘Well, some say don’t they?’ the sailor busied himself finishing his pint.
‘They’re just stories you mean?’
‘Stories I’ve heard!’ he raised his voice and slammed his glass down on the table. ‘Stories I’ve had to prepare myself for.’ He grabbed the barmaid by her petticoat and dragged her closer to him. He looked her square in the eyes, baring his yellowing teeth in a menacing grin. ‘The entire fifth fleet has been ordered to search the northern waters and to eliminate the Crimson Tabby, and kill that bastard of a Captain and his crew at all costs,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘I am a crewman of the Strand, the flagship of the fifth, and I am scared.’ There was no fear in his eyes or voice, only distrust and fatigue. His grip didn’t loosen.
‘I’ve got to get back to work,’ she said innocently, but as she pulled away he pulled back. He moved his face closer to hers.
‘Won’t you comfort this sailor, ready to greet death at sea, before his last voyage?’ he forced his lips on hers. He tasted of rot and rum, like a back street dentist. She tried to raise a hand to him, but was stopped by his tanned forearm. There was barely any movement in the struggle, and no one noticed the commotion. All she needed to do was scream, but she didn’t. ‘You forget your place lass, it’s beneath a man.’
‘No sir, you’re wrong,’ she said calmly within his vice-like grip around her throat. Her rosen cheeks turned a redder shade. One arm clenched her fist, and his other started to fondle the folds of her dress.
She jolted, loosening his grip on her arm. Her hair, the shade of a sun sweetened cherry in the height of summer, swayed from its tidy bun until it dangled neatly by her shoulders. The movement was that of an instant, but the man ceased his actions. She had removed the dagger he kept upon his belt, and was pressing it against the soft flesh below his belt. She freed her arms and her dress, and stood above him. ‘You sir, are wrong.’ He looked at her confused. ‘It is you, who is beneath this woman.’ He flinched as she pressed the blade harder into his flesh until a little blood showed. ‘You have options, sir. You can run from here and join your fleet to die at sea, or I can kill you now. Either way, you die.’ She grinned a pleasant smile waiting for his response. It did not take long.
‘The fleet,’ he replied with a quivering voice. She removed the knife from his flesh and cleaned it on her petticoat. The man stood up, and wobbled. There was a thought tingling at the forefront of his mind, the barmaid could see it, working its way to his mouth. The man walked a few steps away from her before turning.
‘What makes you so sure that the fleet will fail?’ The woman sighed, facing him again. She threw the blade at the man and he fell backwards to the floor with a scream. The knife protruded from his right shoulder. The other travellers in the tavern took note of the next encounter. They were her witnesses. And none of them were heroic enough to intervene. The barmaid walked over the man who was shouting profanities at her. A sweat had come over him, and blood oozed onto the floor from his shoulder. She pressed a foot onto his right hand causing more screams and more terror.
‘I am so sure, because I shall take my ship, and my crew, and I shall eradicate the very existence of the fifth fleet from my waters. Understood?’ There was real fear in the man's eyes as he looked back at her. He saw her for who she was, he had seen death, he had seen the Red Captain.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Oh, Friday?...

Where you to, butt?

And here it is, the last day of my holiday, tomorrow's an official day-off and then it's back to a daily commitment, my next day off being Wednesday. Is this really how I'm living life at the moment, counting the days between free time? Everyone's got to make a living I suppose.

That reminds me, time to do the lottery...

Done, that was quick and easy. The EuroMillions are back down to an ordinary £13m, which, don't get me wrong, I'd be very grateful to win. Holidays all round! But it doesn't quite compare to last month's £121m. Holidays for half the country!

I don't know. Does that make me greedy, probably. I wonder what I'd do with all that money? Well the nearest and dearest will all be taken care of in one way or another. £100k to everyone I know? 130 people's lives changed? I don't think I know 130 people I'd want to give money to, so that's a weight lifted, more for me (yep, I'm greedy).

I'd buy a car well maybe not a car, but a vehicle of some kind, and it'll become a mascot and I'll drive it all over the world, Top Gear style. Tag and Cherry will get a house, Red wants a boat, and together we'll all go traveling, but have somewhere to stay. Maybe not.

I've been thinking about my 25th again (one year from now if you were thinking), and I think I'll set myself 12 challenges between the December 2013 and November 2014 to complete before I'm 25. Not like bucket list things, but sort of (I'm not dying, but who knows). Any suggestions? I'm thinking lose a considerable amount of weight (i.e. put a number to it for once), or write something unforgettable - they're both kinda rubbish aren't they? (VIN DIESEL)

Money would solve everything, but perhaps it won't. And then the party at the end of the challenges will be awesome. Hobbit Barn Dance Mark-II? Actual Hog Roast, Actual Barn, Actually in the middle of Winter? Perhaps that's not such a good idea. Also, I don't live in Barn country.

Today I will spend, buying things for costumes, and presents, and hopefully food. I may even end up in Big End this evening for the sixth time in a fortnight for TimTim's Birthday. Who knows?

All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
'cause if I could see your face once more
I could die as a happy man I'm sure
(the copycat strikes again!)

Carpe diem...

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Three Nights On The Trot...

From Sunday to Wednesday I spent time in the company of my nearest and dearest. We shopped, ate, and drank, and yet there was no proper dancing, drunkeness, or the inevitable orgy that should have followed. Oh well, that was how my holiday was spent, or at least the first four days of it. 

Sunday, I potted my Pumpkins, they're doing well, thank you for asking, and Cherry met with me to walk down to the Bay to meet Red. I carried 3kg of compost on my back from Poundland to Home in just over 7 mins. I'm EPIC!

Either way, we ventured out into the blistering sun and wondered down to the Bay. A very pleasant walk, and we came upon a Red, standing there in red (believe it or not) with a bow in her hair. We meeted and greeted and ventured further into the Bay for the reason we were there: The Food Festival. We traveled around for a while trying to find some cash points, but failed to do that and ended up in the new Spoons down there - its a very nice pub, and not at all Spoons like. There's so much glass and openness, and a kitchen you can see into! Not a bad place to find yourself after a 20 min walk. The ladies bought drinks and their cashback and we trounced about in the Festival. Free Samples and Tasters galore, mainly of cheese and wine, although a taster pot of Brownie, Strawberry, and Cream for a quid was nice. 

Pulled-Pork Rolls in hand we munched on the move and ended up at the Secret Beach, not such a secret, but lush nonetheless. I might go there tomorrow if I'm so inclined. We spent an hour or so there, bathing in the water and the sun, and cursing the tourists and their speedboats. SWERRN!

The day ended with a BBQ in the boot of Gloria and the group gathered around the telly for the Returned! I'm miffed that this week I can't join in in Date Night, due to daily commitments, which'll turn into nightly commitments for a day (that sounded dirty). However, I think they might hold off to have a Returned double bill for the following Sunday Date Night. Fingers crossed, I finish at 6pm.

The next morning, as we were still all there we went shopping for Cherry's Party. I treated everyone to Frankie and Bennie's Breakfast (she'll have a side of toast with that) and then to homes for showers and plant watering, and then to IKEA. Where we enjoyed our time discovering new ways to store things and finding out the Henry VIII was a Sex Hunter (true story). We returned to Ponty, with the spoils of war and set about food shopping, and then slobbing on the sofa for the rest of the evening.

Party day happened, the only real-ish lay-in I'll be having this week. I woke at 5ish with the urge to empty my bladder, and a rustling of noise upstairs. I rolled over and tried to ignore the pee warning. At about 7ish, I caved, and went, hoping not to wake the cat. 

SUCCESS! I even witnessed Red in the throws of musical laying down passion. Singing along under her breath, waving her arms, and all-in-all having a good time. She waved her good mornings, and I waved back. 

We set up for a party, cleaning and what-not, until eventual guests arrived. A party was had, BBQs were had, plans were made, and a child was present for most of it. Cherry even got a case of birthday madness as she forced us to play strip poker (Tag and I would have lost some clothes if it wasn't for the countdown), and then set about popping all her balloons at the early morning hours. 

Red slept on the sofa that evening as the spare bed had been annexed by a couple (HB and Mallard). She said she was glad of the company and we spoke for an hour or so. Don't forget to be awesome! It'll all work out in the end, and if it doesn't, then it's not the end.

Skipping Wednesday, as nothing of import happened, save for a long journey to Roath Park. I suggest we all go get ice creams and a peddalow on the lake sometime - who's with me? Thursday I spent doing absolutely nothing, and do you know what - that was really bloody tiring. I played Assassins Creed 2 while watching the final series of Fringe. And I've finished both now. What an odd thing that is. 

Fringe got me thinking, how do you say goodbye to your friends, if you know it's definitely the end? And what would happen if it did? I didn't like that train of thought, it reminded me of funerals and eulogies. 

I also, popped out to the Post Depo this morning, that trip took about an hour and a half. Walking around Cardiff is like walking around Venice, everything's so flat, you can just keep going. Or is that just me? Either way, I had a few packages to pick up. And I'm halfway to becoming a handsome looking cartographer. I need maps, and I need a coat or something (although it will be the height of summer).

I need a haircut, and probably not just a trim this time, maybe just a change of style. Perhaps I should stop caring about the scar and let people think that my barber is a bad hairdresser. I don't know. It's at a stupid looking length at the moment. Maybe I'll feel differently next month, who knows. 

And new in, Red's gone and sent away her Passport stuff, do I have enough holiday allowance left to go abroad? I certainly hope so. I'll have to figure it out I think. I bloody hope so. Otherwise it'll be next spring, and ain't no body got time for that.

...I used to think that I
Would never live past twenty five,
And when you think like that, each day
Is a gift if you survive...

Carpe diem...

P.S. When I'm 40...I'll let you finish that.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Friday Night Pub Quiz Birthday...

My Friday night consisted of a Pub Quiz Birthday, which is a nice idea in itself. You invite your friends, ask them to write up 20 questions or 1 Round of a quiz. Lots of good rounds, like a Lord of the Rings one, that believe it or not, I got full marks for. A Who's That Pokemon (the round I would have done it I wasn't beaten to writing it), and a Disney round. However, for comedic value there were a few other's that were a bit unorthodox. There were a pair of rounds (mine included) about the people who wrote them, and from those questions one stuck out about me, and made everyone fall about laughing. Jim asked:

If I were to hit someone, what race would they be?

And I think you'll agree, that's a pretty funny question. And we, knowing Jim, knew the answer. And because I don't have very much else to say here now, I'll leave you with my round to do. See how well you know me. And I'll leave you with the knowledge that I'm going to the Cardiff Bay Food Festival today!

Carpe diem...

1. Everyone has a favourite Film Genre, the same can be said for Big Tom. What is Big Tom's Favourite Film Genre? (1 point)

2. Baring in mind his favourite genre, what is Big Tom's guilty pleasure when it comes to films? (1 point)

3. Who is Big Tom's role model in the Film World? (1 point)

4. With all the lovely stars of the silver screen, name one actress Big Tom fancies. (1 point)

5. And because he's greedy, name an actor Big Tom has a man crush on. (1 point)

6. Back in time, Big Tom was inspired to write when he was read a bedtime story, what was that bedtime story? (1 point)

7. Since growing up his tastes have developed and matured. What does Big Tom claim to be his favourite book? (1 point)

8. Growing up, Big Tom's Uncle bought him a comic book every Christmas. What was it? (1 point)

9. As he claims to be a writer, he should have read a lot of books - has he read:
i. Wasp Factory by Iain Banks (1 point)
ii. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien (1 point)
iii. Dracula by Bram Stoker (1 point)
iv. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly (1 point)

10. Completely stolen from Never Mind the Buzzcocks, whose line is it anyway? I'm going to give you the first line of a song from Big Tom's iPod and you're going to give me the next line. For an extra point name the Artist and Song.
i. What if I wanted to break...
ii. I walked across an empty land...
iii. Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air...

11. What does Big Tom occasionally shout at passing Cyclists and Runners? (1 point)

12. When is Big Tom's Birthday? (1 point)

Friday, 12 July 2013


I love the smell of morning air, just before the sun has risen, don't you? (no sarcasm intended). I was having a shower with the window open, and the breeze just smelt so refreshing. I wonder if they bottled it and called it morning breeze or something would it smell the same...nope.

And thus the Friday event, namely Slen's birthday has arrived. Tonight, after my daily activities, I shall be travelling, yet again this week, to Big End to see friends and, inevitably, family. I've also figured that I've got to stay the night again, which is a bummer, as the bed I have to stay in is still the plank of wood with a mattress on top of it, in the sauna room. The idea for the birthday being that everyone brings a pub quiz round and we quiz it up - my topic is all about me (fill my little ego, right up, right up).

It's meant to get hotter again this weekend, and tomorrow I will be gathering supplies of weed killer and soil to pot up some pumpkins (I'm boring I know), and I don't think the other plants in the tubs are going to survive much longer. I don't like the look of them anyway, but they were a nice surprise. 

Holiday begins today, and it's gonna be a good'un, as far as holidays are concerned. Food, Wine, BBQ, Sun, Festivals, Friends, Birthdays, all the best things rolled into one. Tim came to see me again yesterday. Apparently there was a fatality they were treating as Murder! on the tracks at Llanharan. Spooky stuff, who knew Wales had a Mafia?

I've been figuring out my costume for this comic con and I've settled myself on a few things I'm going to have to purchase (I'm no good at shopping around, so it might have to be for the prices I find them at, but here's what I got...'ll be August, so I don't know how warm that thing is going to be...

...goggles seem to be very important to the Steampunkers. Upon hearing this, my mother suggested that I have some swimming goggles...

...I friggin' love waistcoats, but I'm not sure whether to get the tie to match or just go open collar'd? Any suggestions?...

...and why go for just a telescope when you can have a sextant as well? Any decent cartographer needs one (a little OTT?)...

Personally, I think I require more gears and stuff. I've got a pocket watch I plan on using, and I'm not sure about weapons. Are we meant to have weapons, is that a requirement? Either way, I'm thinking it's going to be a good day, and something to look forward to. I need a small leather travel bag as well (fer maps, duh!), and what were those stupid boots all the emos were wearing at one point without the laces done up? I might need some of those, or actual boots.

Today won't be relaxing, but I'm looking forward to spending time with the girls down the Bay on Sunday. FOOD FESTIVAL MASSIVE!

Carpe diem...

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Concerning BBQs...

I really get the urge to kick children sometimes. You know when they're being annoying, self-centred swine? When they cry, and beg, and actually steal shit. Yep, then I just want to pick them up by their soft, squidgy heads, and drop kick them into next week. Does anyone else get that? Or is it just me?...

Also, another thought passed me the other day, as two mobility scooters sped passed me, can I shout 'LYMPICS' at them as well? I know their not being healthy because let's face it, they're sat down, but you know, I just get the urge...

Okay, I'm starting to sound a little cray-cray, but who cares, I'm not harming anyone, or planning to. And also, half the things I say, are just my mouth taking over from my head. Which is why when I sometimes say 'Have a Nice Day' in my head, it comes out as 'Have a Nice GAH!_sd@!S"H'. My mouth syntax-error's my mind, and half the things I say, I know I should have stopped speaking or I didn't intend to say anything in the first place. I'm quite good on a one-to-one basis, but it just frustrates me sometimes. I suppose it reminds me of my stutter and pronunciation problems (Azerbaijan)...

Where am I going with this? Ah yes, concerning BBQs.

BBQs are strange and fantastical things, where you sit out in the outside, whatever the weather and do as you would normally do, except the cooking is done beside you, you're allowed to drink anything you like no matter the time of day and as long as it has ice in, and barefoot is okay attire. Could you imagine a BBQ in suits and dinner dresses?

It wasn't as warm as I had hoped, walking back from my daily commitments, but it was warm enough. I had found loads of food, and carried it home. Pill had sorted the BBQ stuff, cleaned it out and prepared, which was nice. And we waited for the others. He lit the fire, shortly after 7:30, and I got a text from Tag about 10mins after that saying that he had missed the train due to an Asian. We cooked on without them, and when they arrived the food was ready. Which is a nice change.

We sat and chatted, and laughed, and discussed our days, and it was nice. The usual, but the usual is usually nice. Red had been #sploring, Tag had been selling, and Pill had been passing on our country's secrets again. Food was pleasant, and quite cheap for the quality of the items (I collect the coupons), and I think a nice time was had. It is a pity that my garden has no grass, and it isn't very big either. And that makes me very jealous Cherry and Tag, very jealous indeed.

Red exclaimed that she was bored and that they should go, and go they went. It was late, about 11pm (late in this instance meaning that we had work in the morning and we don't intend on sleeping here).

We've got at least 3-4 days of activities to achieve as of Sunday, and it goes a little like this - Food Festival, IKEA, Birthday, Cinema (though I'm assuming cinema is a maybe). Perhaps we could holiday somewhere, Cornwall, Wodge Visiting, Castle Hide-n-Seek, St Fagans, #sploring? Who knows what we'll get up to, fingers crossed we wont end up at the Western or Nandos.

Carpe diem...

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Resentment On Gower...

Yesterday was my Mother's birthday, and as such, I traveled to Big End to wish her a lovely birthday. And then we went to Gower...

I'm not sure what my siblings bought her for a present, but I did see my brother's card. My brother hates being forced to do anything, very much like the rest of us (and we were already miserable being made to go to the beach), but when it comes to birthday cards that takes the biscuit in his book. He, like me, sees the birthday card as a useless item and thus we hardly ever buy them. This year he bought a 'Happy Birthday Son' card and scribbled out the word Son, and replaced it with the word Mum (subtle). The yellow sports card on the front of the card (a Lamborghini Aventador J), didn't influence his decision in card at all, because when Mum confronted him about it, he simply said 'cheapest'.

Dad drove, as he had a plan, and drive he did, an hour and a half into the Gower Peninsula, looking very pretty and Middle Earthian. I even got to see Bury Port from the other side of the estuary. And I thought that was quite cool.

We arrived at the King Arthur Hotel and set about sitting outside and eating lunch. I helplessly flirted with the staff (cooey!) and we moved on further into the Gower. I should add that the burger I had was massive, and the chips were quite nice. And there we were on the edge of the land. Mum fell down a hole, the drunk, and we all fell about laughing. And when we reached the beach she set about ordering us to sunbathe. My response being to point at a ruin I could see in the distance, and then a marker rock I saw on top of the cliffs. 'I'll be over there if you need me.'

Ben came with me and we discussed manly things like Lego Lord of the Rings, and other video games and computer schematics. It was a nice walk, but it only took and hour, and I didn't take enough photos. I dangled off cliff edges, looked out to see, and even tried to find a hole in the wall (Good Luck with that). We had Milkshakes and went back. I requested to be dropped at the station, you know that feeling you get of restlessness when you just want to be doing something else, somewhere else, with someone else? Well that came about and I returned home.

Pill was there and informed me he was out for the evening visiting his brother, so I set about watering the garden, and watching all the catch-up telly, before deciding to go shopping for BBQ food. And let's face it BBQ food, plus this weather, sprinkled with friends, after daily commitments, equals a good time. 

Today I'm talking to 60 kids or so about flying toys. I don't know what I'm going to say, but apparently they've got questions or something. I think I'm gonna need that BBQ.

I hate the beach...

Carpe diem...

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Lympic Sun, Biches!...

It's now Tuesday, my day off, the day I was meant to be doing very little, the day I was perhapsly going to view Fast 5 and 6 consecutively after I had helped Tag in the garden. But no, today is Tuesday, 9th July and it's Mum's Birthday...

I sent the majority of the weekend, away from home, at either Ponty or the Big End, so it was a bit of a relief to sleep in my own bed last night. After my Sunday Commitments (not religion), I dashed to the meeting place, after being bombarded in the Office with the rest of the work crew, watching the Wimbledon Final. That was fun, air conditioning and tennis. However, I was late, and the iPlayer was delayed. 

Either way, I met with Tag, Cherry, and Red, and we ventured to their homestead and lounged in the garden listening to countless good songs, and drank a little. Cherry slaved over the cooker to make us a fine meal of Bolognese, and we ate in relative silence (and that's a sign of good food). Top Gear was cancelled or something, and replaced in favour of Wimbledon Doubles, something not many people watch. But the hour later involved the Returned. That show be good. The room we sat in got really really hot, and I slept there. The next day I returned (see what I did there?) to my daily commitments, and upon returning home,  I got to see Pill for the first time in a week or so, and his magicing friends from Big End. I was really concerned that I might know the pair, as I was a part of the Big End nerd community for a while. Thankfully, I didn't know them, and set about making myself scarce, weeding, watering, and cooking (in that order). 

They finished eventually and I got Pill to sign Red's passport documents (we going somewhere soon biches!) and he went to bed. I did a few more chores, and here I am. It's 9:30am or so here, sat on the parental sofa, in a warm house, waiting to go to the Gower for the day. I hate beaches, but it's Mum's Birthday.

My Father just walked into the room and looked at me, I said 'Hi' and he said (entirely to himself, but audible) 'Good, that sorts that one out, I need to put some shorts on and water, a little.' I should add, he was completely clothed.

I don't like getting treated like a child, and apparently this house is a house of resentment. My brother and sister are already bickering, my father is quietly sat at his computer, and mum just asked when we were going anywhere. I thought this was your idea? I was just expecting to take her to lunch at Jamie's or something, like she suggested I do on Saturday when I was here last.

I've got a busy week coming up, and I don't think I'll see Pill very much again. He goes to Plymy on the weekend for a week. And Wednesday we've got Date Night (every Wednesday and Sunday?), Thursday Clareg's trying to arrange drinks with an old friend of ours The Bennett (he's far too handsome, successful, and bonkers for you guys to meet him, I'd get jealous), Friday I'm away to Slen's for a quiz, you should see my topic - it's a good one, and Sunday my Aunt and Uncle are in town. When will I get to see that Food and Drink Festival down the Bay?! Saturday perhaps? What say you guys?

I hate the beach. I much prefer Bute Park.

Carpe diem...

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Indecisiveness Almost Kills...

Thankfully, due to my ruggedly handsome and superbly brilliant physique it was only 'almost' and not 'actually'...

You may remember how upbeat and fantastically ready for Friday I was, well it happened and I didn't lose a single ounce of that positivity, which was great! (and marvelously annoying for the Work Crew). Having only packed a shirt for hitting a pub or bar after daily commitments, I thought I was ready, however, upon trying to get anyone to do anything I was casually noped out to a quiet evening.

As the day continued Cherry popped to see me, and arranged an evening (the only problem being my lack of overnight bag). Within my half our break I managed to run home and back, and catch the final point in a Wimbledon Semi-Final (hehe, semi...). Which, as it turns out is just over a mile. I ran 2 miles, in under half an hour, and managed to pack a bag! I'm chuffed with myself, even though no one believed I would do it, or actually did it. 

Anyhow, trains were caught, and getting changed in a train toilet is a tricky thing in 20 degree heat and with, quite frankly, appalling conditions, even for a dog to go toilet. And there I was, with the Swingers, sipping cider and eating pie in a very nice pub. I enjoyed myself, sharing onyon rengs with Red because the other two don't like onyons. Talking shit, and that's literal verbal diarrhea, and generally having fun, until V/H/S/2.

And what a load of balls that was. The Americans big up far too much shit. You've been disappointing me a lot recently America, get your act together and get a job! It was even too late to redeem the evening by watching another movie, so we consoled each other and went to bed.

The next morning, I caught the train to Big End, and spent the day doing Gardening that I didn't want to do, mainly because I was told to do it, and mainly because it wasn't gardening, it was tidying the Garden. Washing was done, Mother wanted to wash everything I own, because she still thinks I'm a poor student, and I ate lasagna, before the entire Famile ventured over to Clareg's to celebrate his graduation/birthday. BBQ was had, sunshine, ciders, witty banter, and I got to show everyone how intolerant of somepeople I can be. It's okay, I was in a house of blonde-haired and blue-eyed people. We can talk about the less fortunate when they're not around (riight?). 

Either way the evening came to an end, we all went to bed. I was forced to sleep at home. Which is something of a rarity, in the box room, which boils you when it's warm, and which my head and feet can touch either wall when I lay down, and which has a bed the equivalent to sleeping on a hard floor. Needless to say, I don't want to be doing that again. I don't think my shoulders could take it. 

And now I'm home again, which came as a great shock to my father, as he had hoped to fly helicopters and plant pumpkins with me today. And that would have been very nice, however I have daily commitments. He still insists that no body told him, though he is rather deaf. 

Oh well, after daily commitments today, and missing the Wimbledon Final (come on Murray!), I shall be whisked back away to Ponty by Tag, to eat well and watch gripping television. It sounds like a good Sunday. And do you know what? The sun's out, A-gain!

Boom! Carpe diem...

Friday, 5 July 2013

The Loving Smile Implanted On The Memory...

Here comes the Sun...

It's a beautiful day outside, everything is okay and alright...

Lovely day, lovely day, LOVE-ly day...

Daily commitments over and done with, today will be my second Friday of the week. The weekend starts now, as it were in 9 hours time. And as such, I think I've got most things planned. Go to Big End to see La Famile a Clareg's tomorrow, return for daily commitments on Sunday only to travel to Ponty for a big of Bolognese with the Returned - how's that for a slice of fried gold?

All the while the Sun is actually set to get hotter, and possibly hit the 30 mark. Do we dare to dream? The parks will be littered with the bodies of the recently sizzled, the pubs will be surrounded by the sozzled, and the shops will, quite frankly be empty due to the first two reasons.

Oh, and not only that, but I'll probably miss the Wimbledon Final on Sunday, due to said daily commitments.

I miss gardening, one of my potted plants drowned the other day. Apparently, when my mother planted them up she forgot to put drainage holes in the bottom of one of the trugs, so now one of them look far worse than the other. Which is a pity, I hope you'll agree.

Pill and DarkHorse are away again this weekend, back to the Shire with them, visiting friends. Thankfully, this time, I have daily commitments to see me through the inevitable madness that I would surely befall, and thusly yourselves, due to being my readership.

Speaking of readership, I really want to get my short story finished and edited and proofread and all that jazz. Who knows. Who would read it I wonder. Is the time of fantasy-timey (IT'S NOT A TIME PERIOD!) crime drama over?

I don't think so, as long as there are still dreamers in the world. Although, I am wondering where the hell I'm going with this. 

I picked up a free magazine the other day, all about the latest cameras and the best deals. I'm thinking, perhaps I should save up. Or perhaps I should become a better photographer first. 

Red has given me her passport documents for my Father to sign, it's useful having a member of the British Empire in the immediate family, it gets you all kind of perks - namely being able to lord over the lower classes and get your passport signed and shizz. Useful no? Either way, potential holiday in the mix.

I think I miss Pokemon, which is an odd thing to say after just watching Luther (Oh Idris Elba, your voice is heavenly - POWAR, to You)

So yes, sun. I might be in my garden this evening if anyone wants to join me, bring a book and a snack and we'll stargaze like there's no tomorrow! Or I've got this urge to dance in the late afternoon light, hmm. (Alright, gay!)


Carpe diem...

It's a beautiful day outside,
Everything is okay and alright.
Your smile is a vast contrast from the things we said last night. (oh, last night)
Why did I say that line?
If I shut my mouth, we'd be fine.
I've got perfect hindsight in the daytime,
I'm starting to see that
In a perfect situation, I'd be doing things much differently.

And I just thought, thought you should know,
I'm sittin' by myself, but I'm never alone.
In fact, I'm making myself heard,
I've found something louder than words.