Rumour Has It...

It has to be said that yesterday I felt like I had a very shit day at work. The long and short of it mainly spans from lots of little things (as well as big ones), as they often do, and a rather large rumour spread around about me not doing my job.

Either way it all escalated and caused me to march angrily home to an empty house with a nice note from Pill informing me that he would not be returning for dinner. I dumped my stuff and stormed from the house back to work and immediately asked any of the girls if they wanted a drink (there were only girls working there when I left). Thankfully one of them did, and my workmate and I got a drink in the Pen and Wig. I learnt a lot more about her, and there's more yet still. It was a nice evening well spent, and then I returned home to cook dinner...

Pill returned and was also in an off mood. We watched a small bit of telly before he phoned DarkHorse and then came back to a talk about weddings and finances and some how Christmas. I don't know about you, but Christmas for me has always mostly been about the giving. And I will admit I might have gone a little OTT with Christmas this year. All in all, I'm not 100% on what I've bought let alone what I've spent. It's always best not to look. However, when listing the people I've bought things for (Pill being on there) he goes: 'oh dude, I specifically told you not to get me anything!' And then leaves the room. 

I don't think I've ever seen anyone angry that they've got a gift for Christmas before. And I did lead into it with the giving statement, but he wasn't having any of it. Am I a dick? Is it just that day where I think I'm a dick because I'm actually a dick?

So there was a lot of downs before hitting the up and then back down to the depths. And what's worse is that I've not even finished Christmas shopping. I will finish tomorrow though. I've decided. I wish I had a concierge...

I think I might prefer the Ed Sheeran version, though this one's epic, and there's loads of awesome covers too. Who knew it'd be that popular. 

Today will be a better day.

Carpe diem...

Things I Didn't Know...

Did you know I like to lift my chin and look down my nose at strangers, flaring my nostrils in a primal and subliminal act to intimidate the intruder?

Neither did I.

I had a talk yesterday and I got some good advise: 'Contentment is fine at your age. You're not meant to know what your passions are yet. You're still, for a couple more years yet, trying to find out who you are, and if you're content with how you are now, then be content. But make sure that the contentment doesn't turn into complacency. You've got a good character and I don't think you will. You'll go travelling soon, you'll write more, you'll be happier than you are now. So be content for now, and don't worry what others think of it.'

It was a good talk.

Yesterday I was having a bad day. Did anyone else feel ill after Le Lake Poob Food? I was working my short day, getting in two hours later and leaving an hour later than normal - I felt weird all day. I don't think I did very much all day. But Sunday's coming, and I've decided that I'm not going to walk to Castell Coch - mainly because I want to do that with peeps if peeps still want to, so perhaps I'll just enjoy the park all over again. Starting the day with a nice walk around the park is a good way of starting your day. That and nice coffee, fruit, pastries, perhaps with a roast in the oven for dinner...

Ideas, ideas...

Red came over yesterday for dinner, it was nice with wine and everything. No one else was invited because I was told by everyone else that they had already had plans and there was only one spare bowl of food going, not four. I will admit that I've been very lazy recently. Pill has cooked everything I've been eating for a while now. I will cook Banoffee Pie on Sunday with, perhaps, a small roast shoulder of pork (I love crackling). Though DarkHorse doesn't like Pork. Maybe I won't. Perhaps something new. To the cookbooks I go!

Have a better day than me, Carpe diem you beautiful lot!

Day 9 Of 11...

There's nothing quite like the tiredness you get from 11 Days of working, in my opinion (with the exception and foreknowledge that I haven't ever done anything Wodge is currently going through, and I know we've all got our bad experiences, so ignore me if you will)...

To be fair, I'm almost to the end. Today will be day 9, and it's not a real full time 11 Days, but it has certainly given me the inability to not switch off, so I wake up tired, gain a tremendous sense of deja vu every walk into town, start work, clean up, repeat. 

I don't have a good firm grip of the English language, I've decided. It's more a soft glace in English's direction when ever I open my mouth. I don't know why, but my brain does like to try and over complicate things, a. in life, and b. in the way that I talk. 

Like I was telling Cherry last week, and more for the most part, if you know me, I sound far better in text format than I think I ever will verbally. I've been through a few speech therapies in my life, mostly to remove a stutter and restore some self confidence. It's an odd thing to try and explain, but going from crippling public speaking problems to the job I have now has certainly been quite an existence. 

So just try to understand me if I get my words around the wrong way, or I'm trying to explain something but I'm going the wrong way around it. Some of you already do that, I know. You can understand the nonsense that I drivel sometimes, and for the rest of you, you'll get used to it, and perhaps one day you'll also hear me sneeze. But not too soon, we require some mystery I think.

It's Red's birthday on the weekend and the order to dress up 'Sexy as Fuck' is certainly one I hope to adhere to. And although I shall endevour to accomplish my goal, I shall possibly fall short if everything doesn't arrive before Saturday. We're hitting the town, and before we do there's gonna be fireworks outside the house and down the street. I think a group on Cardiff Bridge watching fireworks from Bute Park would be epic. But I might be wrong. The fires start at 7pm. They're the big people ones. I'm not sure why there are kid ones and adult ones, and the concept even sounds amusing. Perhaps they'll set the car alarms off again they were so big/loud. Apparently it'll be the biggest display in Wales and one of the largest in the UK. I suppose we'll have to see it to believe it...

Have a tremendous day, and I look forward to seeing us all again, Carpe diem...

Reconsidering...

I think the likelihood of me living with Pill next year has dropped dramatically since he announced that Caerphilly might be an option. I don't know whether he was being serious or being a dick, but either way the amount of one bed unfurnished flats for under £500 in the surrounding area is a bit scarce, but that's just within a quarter mile from here. How nice is this place?

I think it's a bit odd thinking Caerphilly, although quite nice (I've passed through it on occasion), is a possibility. I have friends from there who have difficulties getting to work due to train and public transport problems and just think it's only 20 mins away by train (he said sarcastically). And if they do move there I can see them becoming more and more detached from our little sect. Which I suppose, as they are engaged now, would have probably happened anyway. Either way, the announcement has certainly made me reconsider his motives. 

He's also started this thing of seeing how far I'll go to help out or be generous to my friends, and enjoys telling me I've failed every time I do something useful. I believe he's testing me, or conditioning me, I'm not entirely sure. I don't think he likes how I said I was going to get everyone something for Christmas anyway. I do every year, so I don't know why I should stop now. And I don't even know why we still do Secret Santa if we all have money now. I doubt I'm going to stop being myself but he's starting to make it difficult. 

He's also started pushing me a lot (I'm not sure whether that's for my own good or not), saying I should probably start writing again, and when am I going to start writing again, and what am I currently writing, and just stuff like that. I keep telling him that I haven't stopped writing, which is true in a sense, and not so true in others. I am currently planning a NaNoWriMo I think, though I'm not sure I'll get much time to do anything in November - but all, I'll say is Real Magic 2: Magic Just Got Real, might be a thing...

I was really quite tired and laidback last night, so to have all this conversation and all the while speak with Lee (a nice guy), Pill's Mentor, about life, life stories, and radiation, gave me a headache and I actually went to bed early (about 10:30)...

I'm really enjoying all the Imagine Dragons songs I've been linked too (thank you Red, you were right). And I've also realised that I've heard some of them before without actually knowing they were Imagine Dragons. Who knew?

It's raining rather dramatically at the moment. I'm concerned that the river might swell too much a wash this place all away. I hope not. Have a brilliant day guys...

Carpe diem...

P.S. Has anyone noticed that this last month's blog titles could be seen on the back of an Album? Perhaps I'll write and sing all the songs...

1. Waking Up Alone
2. An Odd Quickie
3. Nothing At All
4. Bangers And Mash And Zombies
5. Over-Achieving Blowjob
6. Cinema Grill
7. Drugs Help
8. And I Will Always Be With You
9. Quiet Contemplation
10. Bay?
11. If I Ever Stray
12. The Birthmas List
13. Bute Wall

And I Will Always Be With You...

As nothing much happened to me yesterday apart from the contraction of a Cold, I'll tell you about my weekend as a whole...

Saturday I worked, though, and don't you love it when you have plans that make you forget that you worked that day? I know I do. Tag, Cherry, and I found ourselves travelling to Red's for a movie night. We crept into her building behind someone with a Pram, Tag helped them through the door with it (a quick whack over the back of the head and they were using the buggie as a wheelchair), and we ascended in the lift wondering why all the signs were scratched out and nothing else...

We rang the bell (and Tag did his Milhouse gag) and Red answered with a vast amount of enthusiasm and amusement at the gag (#sarcychick) and we sat, discussing days, and then food. The telly was on, and I had no idea what the program was, but then New Girl came on and I knew what that was (it's been almost a year since I had television)...

We settled on Pizza, and Tag and I were nominated to get more drink (crisps and cookies too, though I wasn't told to get those). We returned, and then the pizza guy arrived and we had to get that too - he was a really nice chap actually. And then the movie fun could begin - The Internship and This Is The End. Both were really good films. 

The Internship was a typical American Comedy/Drama/Romance film (i.e. it had a happy ending), and I enjoyed it. Especially the Bearded Google Search Programmer (BGSP = GOD) who turned out to be a badass in the end - I knew it was coming. (STP means soo many things, I just Googled it)...

This Is The End was something else. Wonderfully entertaining, and everyone was type-cast (as always) with Seth Rogan and Jay-whatever-Baruchel being the unlikely heroes, James Franco being the eye-candy, Craig (Kreg) Robinson being Craig Robinson, Danny McBride being the dick, and Jonah Hill being penetrated by a demon dick. You know, the usual. Also a Channing Tatum cameo that can't be missed.

After that we played a game of Fuck You, which would be far better with more drinks, and went our different ways at 1am. All-in-all, a very successful evening. And, I completely forgot I had worked that day. A plus in anyone's book I'm sure. 

Kodaline have made a second music video - that follows from the first - for the same song 'All I Want'. It's a bit odd, I don't know why, apart from extra coverage. Both videos could be seen as stand alones, though Part 2 has a lot of references to part one.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Today I work until 8:30 and I'm going purchase plenty of Cold Relief, Vitamins, and Fruit, ain't nothing gonna drag me down...

Carpe diem...

The Fire Goes Bleep...

The Fire Alarm out in the corridor has been bleeping for almost three days now. You can imagine the psychological effect it's having on everything - except me, because I'm not that weak minded that a bleep every 2, 5, and 10 minutes bothers me (it did disturb me the first half a day it did it, but it's grown on me)...

I feel like I should tell you my rota this week, so you can stalk me and somewhat plan around it so we can all figure out when we're free and somewhat be awesome together:

- Today: 9:30-5:30

- Monday: Off

- Tuesday: 10-7

- Wednesday: Off

- Thursday: 10-7

- Friday: 10-7

- Saturday: 10:30-7:30

Needless to say, my 10-7's are the usual, so I can always meet you guys afterwards and I start late enough in the morning to have enough sleep and everything. 

My Saturday night involved finishing all the TV I've been watching and I finished House of Cards (so good!) and then, when Pill and DarkHorse returned, we started watching The Last Airbender. Turns out, I'd only seen the beginning of it before, oh God! Why did I watch the whole thing?! Pill and DarkHorse went to bed not too far into the poorly paced, scripted, made movie...

My eyes! The horror, the horror!

Anywho, the Sun is now rising, and I've got to get back to proper work. I've not felt right in work for about a week now, unsettled, and unpredictable. I suppose it's because I've not had a proper day of work in about a week. And I've not had Le Lake Poob Grub either. It's been a long week, and it's going to be a longer one now that Red is also going away for work this week. Lucky we had that awesome Drinks/Hitchhikers/Drinks/Lap Dance Week before all of this.

Ah, good times...

Out on the weekend? Of course!

Carpe diem...

An Irishman, A Welshman, And A Scot...

Well that was a funny old couple of days. An Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scot became quite friendly when they realised that they were eachothers counterparts...

Let me explain, as much as I can, because work was involved, I can only really say a couple of things, the first being that I went to Roystone. I got up at 3am because my body is a complete bastard, and waited for my train at 5:55am. Swindon looked very much like that Zombie Picture at 7am...

(only took an hour to get there though)

Needless to say I reached London during rush-hour and proceeded to make my way through the crowds and along the underground until I reached King's Cross where I met my colleagues and they guided me the rest of the way. We left from Platform 6 and three quarters to Roystone, a quaint English village, of such quaintness that it could have been apart of At World's End, and then we went straight to work...

After work some of my colleagues, and our trainers went to the pub for a cheeky few, and this is where we exchanged stories of our times, and enjoyed the pints and our own company. It was strangely warm and we sat outside most of the evening. Soon it was just the Irish (who wasn't Irish) and Scotish contingent with me, and we went to our hotel, ordered steaks and burgers, got told the place was haunted and got subsequently smashed. Thanks to my bastard body, I woke up at 3am again, and quickly went back to bed. My first proper lie-in in a while. Though saying that, we just went to bed early, and the beds themselves were delightfully comfortable, and the showers in the morning were nice, and the free Full English went down a treat as well.

I had a great time, and I've been invited to Scotland and Ireland for more fun times to come. This could potentially be a very busy few months, and since Roystone, I think I'm more than ready for them...

Practice awaits, and seculsion, but I promise not to miss another social event if I can help it!

And I got a bit of SMART advice that I'm going to put into motion for my goal making: be Specific, making it Measurable, allow it to be Achieveable, make it Relavant to you, and give yourself a Timeframe.

Just a little bit of letter fun for you all...

Carpe diem...

Drained Of Life...

Without a shadow of a doubt, I don't think I've ever been this tired before in my life (undoubtedly I've said that before when I've been tired, but roll with it)...

It must have been about 3am when the headache began, and then the ghosting dreams, and then I remember hearing Pill moving around in his room before slamming the door to go to work at 6am, and then upstairs' alarm went off at 7:10am, and then finally mine at 7:30am. 

My eyes are bloodshot, and it doesn't really bode well for my 4:30am start tomorrow. Roystone yo! Maybe I'll just pack tonight at call it a 5am start. That doesn't make it sound any better. 

Either way, I'm now ready for work. Work you say? But Tuesday is your day off? True, true, it is. But then it's not a full day of work either. 10-12:30ish. It's for more training (for the good news at work thing), which means I won't get an actual day off until Saturday, which also means I didn't savour my last day off last Wednesday.

I'm just complaining because I'm tired. I wouldn't describe myself as grumpy, more like irritable. 

And because I'm tired I can't really think of anything else to say (just being honest).

I'll tell you what, last week was a very awesome week in the life of me. From Bake Off Bolognese, to Drinks, to Drinks and Hitchhikers, to Drinks and Lap Dances. This week is currently struggling under it's own weight, and I'll be glad to take it out the back and put it out of its own misery. However, with all the fatigue and shit, I can appreciate that the Birthday Month is almost upon me (and Red) and as of yet I've not got any plans, but then when do I do? 

Perhaps just a nice meal at the Meating Place or the Potted Pig. Hmm, maybe we should arrange Viva Brazil for next weekend?

Would you look at that, I managed to talk about something else. Have a nice day guys...

Carpe diem...

It Was A Set Up...

This week has somewhat kicked me for six. I just haven't really started off on the right foot, and I'm stumbling along waiting for it to end. I need a holiday, a very long holiday, and I don't expect that I shall return, in fact I mean not too...

But Sunday's Date Night went well. Although, admittedly, that's sort of when this funny business started, though I didn't know it yet. I went to Tag's work with shopping in hand, only to be told that one of his colleagues wanted to talk to me, upon saying 'should I be worried?' Tag replied 'yes.' Nuff said? Either way, I get this feeling like a deflating balloon in my tummy every time someone suggests things like this. It knocks me back, like a nasty surprise.

Either way, it's now Wednesday, and the nasty business that rolls around every six months, in fact it is actually seven months to the day that this was last attempted (Hi Red), has cropped up again. I don't know whether I should be concerned that they only know people in work, or that she shares a name with my mother (people have cringed when I've told them, and then said it'll be fine - Pill disagrees, but then Pill is Pill and displays two points to an argument. A name's a name, you can't choose it), or that Tag himself has been coerced into asking me. 

All I know about her is a picture I've seen, she says I look 'nice', and we share an understanding of Tennis. I feel a sitcom coming on. 

Should I be so skeptical? Probably. Girls call me 'nice' just to be polite. It's code. And it ain't code for 'fit', because let's be honest I'm not gonna get a 'fit', I'm a 'nice' happy' 'jolly' sort of person. And they aren't qualities women look for. It reminds me of something Red told me about how I'm good at making friends, but I can't really remember the conversation either because I was drunk, or I've got a terrible memory for conversations...

Also, this really isn't the week to be doing this sort of thing with me, I'm fed up, tired, and I'm ready to kill the next person who tells me my job must be easy. Three more days to go.

Either way, at lunch I'm probably gonna go say 'Hi', probably with Tag's colleague doing the awks introductions. Woop, and another Woop. 

I've had Whistle While I Work It in my head since Sunday, and I don't think it's going to leave very soon. It's just about the only thing keeping me going this week. Red was kind yesterday saying that I was a good salesman too, both make me smile. It was Snap-It that we played. 

Pill came home yesterday, and we slobbed out, realising too late that we should have cooked something for dinner, instead we had toast (white's the pudding) and watched Up. That's a brilliant and sad film. 

I bloody hope I've got Tag's Birthday off. I get to find out soon. I'm going to hate it if I don't. What else has happened to me that's not been mentioned in Red's blog already? I saw a shooting star on Monday, just the one, but it was worth it. Its amazing when you stare up at the night sky, and you lose focus you don't realise just how many stars there actually are in the sky.

Also, are we actually doing something tonight? Do I have to choke a bitch, now do you believe?

Carpe diem...

P.S. Party Rock Anthem for the playlist perhaps?

A Few Ups And Downs...

Well, this week I had an interview...

I know right? But please, exhale from your astonished gasp now and I will tell you how my week is going. I think this week is a busy week in the life of me at the moment - well I say that, I have a daily unpaid routine of housework and my own work that I aim to do, but this weekend was filled with Borderlands 2 as illustrated by myself in this week's Badly Drawn Adventure on wearethewritingpeople.co.uk

So, after that quite relaxed weekend, well relaxed as can be with housework and you know, other family members, Monday came around and I was blissfully alone again.

I applied for some jobs, wrote a review of Borderlands and set it away to IGN.com, I sent away a few comic strips to the Seaside News, and then I got on with the game. Now keep in mind that I had done all that before midday, so yay me!

1pm came and I got a phone call asking me whether I would be interested in an interview on the Tuesday (the day after), I enthusiastically replied and we agreed the time, and that was that, I returned to my game with even more achievement in my mind.

You should also remember that I've only managed to acquire 1 interview in all my 8 months as a Job Seeker, so to have a second was excellent news.

Anyway, Tuesday comes, and here's where it gets messy...

I woke up early, calculating my daily schedule - I had a Prince's Trust meeting at 11am and the interview wasn't until 2:45pm so I had time. I got up, dressed, readied myself.

UP - I got a lift to the station from my father, who offered.

DOWN - I completely forgot my PIN at the station to buy a ticket, so I had to resort to cash before I locked my card, at the station.

UP - in Cardiff I had time to spare so I went exploring to find the place of my interview and an ATM to practice my PIN, I got it right and I was a bit chuffed.

DOWN - I got to the Costa I was meeting my Prince's Trust Mentor in, and I typed in what I thought my PIN was, but it turned out the ATM had tricked me, and I managed to lock my card. I paid for my coffee in coins, and I was skint. 

UP - my meeting with the Prince's Trust was very productive, informing, and useful. I'm encouraged to set myself some goals to achieve before the next meeting hence having written, edited, and sent away Real Magic, and sent away my comic strip, etc. I also applied for a Grant from the Prince's Trust for £250.

DOWN - I had time to kill between the meeting and the interview, in the rain.

UP - I waited in a comfortable chair in the bank while I sorted out my card problems. I've got a new PIN and Card in the post, somewhere.

DOWN - it rained almost all the time between my bank issues and the interview, so I was a bit wet.

UP - I filled out the form they wanted me to, making sure my contact details were correct, and up-to-date. (It was a bit awkward writing in the employment section - Unemployed.)

DOWN - So what interest do you have in Sales and Marketing?...erm. Now I don't know about you, but those sorts of questions scare me. The Job Application didn't actually say anything about Sales or Marketing - it was more along the lines of '!FILM AND GAME FANATICS WANTED!' - I tried to research the company as well, but their website was a bit dated, and their press releases, and I committed them all to memory - there were only three - were about 1. Businesses need Social Networks, 2. Cardiff Business School's New Building, and 3. NASA make a Comet Harpoon. 

I obviously couldn't put two and two together, linking Sales and Marketing to NASA, but there you go.

My interviewer, giving me the hard sale, told me that it was basically a door-to-door sales person position trying to sell LoveFilm to households. There were two things flying around in my head when I was told that, I hate the door-to-door salesmen, and I'm a Netflix customer (LoveFilm's main competitor). 

I didn't say any of that by the way, it was just a quick 15mins preliminary interview, and he said that I would get a phone call later on that evening, whether or not I had acquired a second interview on either Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. 

I got home and waited...

And waited, and waited, and waited...

It's Thursday now, and I think it's safe to say that I didn't get the position. Oh well, it was a commission only position anyway, and I don't think I could work hard at something I don't particularly want to do, with no guarantee of getting paid at the end of the day.

Anyway, that was that. And I got to go to a Job's Fair in Bridgend Recreation Centre yesterday. Which basically went something like, all the unemployed people in Bridgend descend upon this one place in the hopes of getting a job. 

The thought went through my mind that it could have been a trap and we were all just going to be culled to reduce the unemployed statistic. 

Anyway, I was there, with all my unemployed brethren, and upon speaking to the majority of people - the GoWales and Bridgend College people were useful - I told them that I was a Graduate of Creative Writing, and their eyes shot open with fright. 'And what do you want to do with that?' they asked, as if I was being a stupid person, 'Well, I'd quite like to be a writer,' was my reply. 

Needless to say, the construction industry, along with nearly all the recruitment officials there were could not help me. 

I did bump into a very nice Work Experience Journalist for the Gazette on my way to the Job Centre though. She was trying to find people who had watched 'The Valleys' or whatever it was called. We talked a bit about work experience and such and she had managed to get 3-days out of the gazette. 3-DAYS!

I'm sorry, but people at the Gazette, 3-days is just not good enough. That's not an experience of work, that's hardly a taster. She wasn't even mentored (I suppose you don't actually have to be to write, but still).

So in the last fortnight I've managed to apply for 2 Grants, get nominated for 2 Awards, and I'm going to be published in the Seaside News soon. But I'll probably tell you all about that later on.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

The Summer Is Here...

Well, it's now Summer time and the last time I spoke to you all was April. So, what's been happening? 

The world has started to deteriorate, lo and behold the 2012 destruction has begun, Greece is now a third-world country, but what have I been up to? I hear you ask, as you're all very interested in me, after all that's the reason you're reading this.

Well, if you haven't been to www.wearethewritingpeople.co.uk yet then that would explain all. 

My daily activities seem to revolve around this site, the brain child of The Writing People, and as such my own personal writing has somewhat taken a backburner, or not, depending on your view of things. 

I'm currently writing for the website, every Monday, providing lots of content for the site, but also in my back catalog. However, if I hadn't started this I might have focused all my efforts on Real Magic - which you can read over the first draft if you want. 

I'd love to hear your feedback, it's all very close to the wind or whatever, said the readers that I've already had the comments from. 

I don't know how to write any of these anymore. I'm sure I'll get back to you by the end of the week and say something meaningful or productive. But until then...

Carpe diem, bloggers...

CV Updates...

Well that was nice while it lasted...

Over the past fortnight I was 'employed' at Seren, in Bridgend. And it was really good fun. I got to read many things that weren't published yet, and some that will never be (due to my opinions) and I enjoyed that power.

I proof-read Owen Sheers', 'The Gospel of Us' - and that's the novel version of that thing he did with Micheal Sheen...that's this man:

...last year during Easter time. He was Jesus or something, in Port Talbot or something, but that didn't come across in the book, honest (Hi Tag - you should read this, it's full of real world magic).

And I got to actually format and 'proof' a book all by myself (well practically) which was a collection of poems by Keidrych Rhys:

...yeah, I don't know who he is either, but he does some good poetry - only some mind, he does go a bit loopy towards the end of the book during the 'Unpublished' poetry section, and I can see why. And I was told by my boss, the Publisher, that he had a meeting with one of the local Authors and my father's name was mentioned - which is very strange. I still don't know who the author was.

During my last week there, there was also another work experience person (we were called Interns, which in itself is very cool...I mean professional) who was called Alex, he was doing English Literature in Cardiff and did this in his reading week (ah reading week, I remember you). I felt like a kind of mentor to him, as I walked him to the Train Station most evenings, and he was talking about everything I worried about in my first week (I'd only been there a week, and listen to how high-and-mighty I sound).

So that was that, and now I'm trying to relax after a busy weekend of Rugby, Booze, and 18-Year-Olds not knowing how much they can drink. And how am I relaxing I hear you say...

(No Tag, not like that...)

...I am being this man:

Where in actual fact I look something more like myself, though just as kickass I assure you (Tag stop laughing, Cherrybelly slap him for laughing...oi! Both of you stop laughing) - the nose is almost perfect...

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

The BIG Company...

Inspired by real events, this blog is filmed, LIVE, in front of an engaged studio audience...

I know what you're thinking, that would be the most boring Tv show on the tellybox. I don't know why I'm writing this at all really, perhaps it's just something to do, and some way to convince myself that it was the right thing to do - and partly admit to my mistakes.

I had an interview this week, some of you already know this. I definitely didn't like how quickly I was informed about it. Wednesday Afternoon I receive a call saying that there will be interviews for this BIG Company at some point the next day, I naively say I'm available, even though I didn't like the sound of anything the person on the other end of the phone was saying. Either way they said they'd phone back later on to confirm times and places.

Sort of nervous and excited I called them back, possibly a bit too soon, like you're not meant to with women you like. Which caught the woman off guard slightly, but as I was in Porthcawl I lost signal and the phone call ended quite promptly. Curse the signal-less place! Well, I really didn't want to call, I just thought I should.

Anywho, I got the call the next morning, after calling them back inquiring again (I was at home I should add, so the signal was better), saying that my interview would be at 4:30.

So there I was, 4:30 came, I was dressed in my best suit, my Father thought it was a bit OTT, so did I - but it was either that or a Funeral Suit - I don't think either would have mattered. I get to reception, sign in and wait in the waiting room. The security guard at the reception desk unhelpfully said 'You're with the 4 o'clock bunch.' (It was already 4:15)

You are, after all, meant to arrive at your interviews early - it didn't help that we had to drive around the industrial estate a few times looking for something with the name I was told over the phone, rather than the name of the company it actually was, which I suppose had a very similar name - but like I say, it wasn't the name of the company I was told.

So there we go, two things that felt wrong, three if you include the suit. Four if you include the woman, who had invited me to the interview arriving at the front desk, having a conversation with the desk man, obviously about me, and then asking for my name.

Now it was 4:40, I thought I was late, and lost, and all around in trouble. I caught a glimpse of the room of 500+ computers, you could see it from outside. It was horrible, and I didn't like it one bit. But here's where you all go, 'shouldn't be too fussy'. Truth is, I wasn't fussy, not then, I was there after all. The truth is, after they sat me away from everyone else, made me sit a few tests, they interviewed me in a room where there were ten or so other interviews taking place, so it was already quite loud. The person, my interviewer, wasn't the person they said that would be interviewing me, and all in all I felt like a right tit 'role-playing' with this man, who could have been a bit older than I was, but then I suppose he might not have been either.

I feel like I've been going on a bit now, but don't worry if you're getting bored, it's almost over. Don't worry, persevere.

Therefore I got home not feeling too great, I was friendly and open, and I tried to answer every question they posed, even though I had researched a company which wasn't their's, and even though I really didn't want to work in a call-centre, I went with it, and they shook my hand and said 'we'll be in touch'.

I really had a bad feeling about this whole thing from the beginning, I can't work in something which goes that quickly without some knowledge of the thing I was trying to work at, or even towards. It was something about broadband I believe, or so I was told at the door.

Well after discussing it with my friends and family -- oooo, I know quick quiz. Guess who said the following and I'll give you some points:

1. 'You'll say 'Yes' if you get the job, there won't be others.'

A. Mum B. Dad

C. Clareg D. Hb Sauce

2. 'There will be other jobs, some with people you'll get on with straight away and some you won't.'

A. Mum B. Dad

C. Clareg D. Hb Sauce

*note: All phrases are paraphrased, but they give the same message I'm sure, unless I'm doing that unclear thing I do where I use too many words and confuse everyone to my point of meaning.

Anywho, if you need help with any of the questions, this next bit might help, if you don't the answers are at the bottom.

So driving back from a shopping trip today, after still not having the call, mum says 'How can you not get a job at a call-centre?!' She seemed surprised, not by the fact that I didn't want to work there, but more by the fact that they hadn't phoned me or even better given me the job there and then. Then I replied by shouting many things, I'm sure, it all seems like a blur to me now but I think she got the message. I even said the words, 'even if I get the call now, I'm going to decline it because I never wanted to work there in the first place.

I stormed off with the dog down the street and then I got the phone call...

I declined. Like I said I would, and I'm not sad about it or anything I just felt guilty because of their surprise on the other end of the phone. I had to give a reason as to why I didn't want the job, and I was quite certain 'I don't want it now' wasn't going to cut-it. But then I thought about it, and I thought about those 500+ computers, and the way the woman introduced herself to me and how she walked me through the interview procedure face-to-face despite never making eye-contact with me the whole way through though I suppose that could have been a medical problem, though, saying that my interviewer seemed to have a hard time making eye-contact with me as well.

And all these thoughts ran through my head, and the women was just there on the end of the phone wondering why I hadn't explained myself to her - as if I had to. I said 'a change of circumstances,' I would have hoped that would have thrown her off and she would have left at that, but she pushed forwards, trying to convince me that the job was perfect for me, and that come Monday morning I would have become a call-centre associate. I didn't like that, but she finished her 'sale's pitch' and quickly said goodbye as she heard that I wasn't buying any of it.

So I declined her, and the job. And it wasn't because Mum wanted me to jump at the first job that came along, and it wasn't really because of the distance I would have to travel to get there and back, it was partly because it was a call-centre and people with degrees don't work in call centres - well some might but some of the interviewers I went to school with, and they certainly don't have degrees, they have children, but that's another story for another wet Friday.

The main reason I declined is because I was afraid. I've never been afraid like that before, having someone else reliant on me to do my job, I was afraid that I would have been just a face in a room of faces, and I was afraid of the people on the other side of the telephone of course.

But how do I explain any of that to my JobCentre Adviser on Wednesday?

I was raised in a small town, went to small schools, went to a smaller university, and now approaching large rooms stuffed with workers, that's a scary scenario for me.

But I've had some interview experience, I just have to avoid the admin jobs I think - retail should be easy enough, and the main goal - WRITING - well that's just something that's approaching slowly, but I do see it on the horizon.

People told me not to do that degree, they all told me my mistakes, but I didn't care, it was something I wanted to do, and I took on everything that went with that, even the unemployment, even though I didn't know it was this bad. But that is my job, that is what I am, so I hope now that this job search gets me what I want, and not another repetition of something I know absolutely nothing about, and I hope it doesn't get in the way of my writing any more. Which it has, I assure you.

I had planned to have finished my proofread second draft and tested the waters with it by the start of this month, but since this search started, I've not written anything, if at all. And I don't like that, nor how down it gets me.

Just being near a call-centre has put me in a bad mood, HB was certainly right about those places. I'm just quite annoyed that they wanted me, I hope they didn't reject someone else so they could 'have' me. I don't think that's how they work, and I hope its not.

But I've rambled on a bit too long now. I've got a few things in the pipework at the moment, and I'm sure I'll end up telling you guys about it all very soon, but until then...

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. 1A and 2D

P.S.S. Thank you for all the supportive words, those who have given them.