She Doesn't Like You Either...

Well, that was an experience. I've never witnessed so much genital pulling, blood, or mouths before, and that was just one short...

One sunny Saturday afternoon I was walking out into the brightness, when I was greeted by a Red at my door. It was a very pleasant surprise as she said we were going to Jamie's Italian for dinner. It was a very nice evening spent with friends. One of the few evenings we had spent as almost adults (except for me almost going 'cooy!' to the waitress to get her attention). I had pasta, and I loved it. It was one of the specials, and I probably wouldn't order it again without checking out the price. But oh well...

Then on Sunday, as I returned home I received a phone call from Cherry (although the first five or six didn't go through - bloody network problems!) inviting me to theirs for some live television and pizza hut. I remembered the days when I occasionally went to pizza hut two or three times a week. I don't know why, perhaps they are addictive, and since I had pizza hut on Friday as well when I entered the realms of Clareg's birthday, I felt a tad guilty.

I 'cooy!'ed at the waitress again, and we were on our way to an evening of soft drinks, and live television. Top Gear and The Returned (both wonderfully good, but only 8-parts?! WTF? That's the French for you - or something to that effect) and then we watched V/H/S.

Oh God. It's basically a movie of movies, with an on-going story throughout, however, some of the movies were better than others, and thus the movie did kinda get less scary as the evening went on. The first short involved a succubus and a bit of rape, mainly from the drunk men, and eventually the succubus herself. She full on rips off the male member and leaves it lying on the floor for us at one point. Tasty. So that set the mood, and then when the next short happened we were all expecting a continuation. The same room, the same misfortune, a girl looking for a ride. So when it turned out to be lesbian killers (and that's lesbians who kill - I had to clarify for Pill last night) I was a little disappointed, though it did have the shit-yourself-scary moment (Hi Tag!) when we didn't know about the lesbians.

Either way, watching scary movies with Red, Tag, and Cherry was fun. I'd do it again (and I mean proper scary movies - the sort of run bitch, run! type shit), because it got us all worked up, and really into the moment, unlike most other movies.

The next morning, Tag and I had our daily tasks to do, so we caught the earliest train. Red (a morning person, like myself) tagged along, and we went to town. Collected a coffee from my old haunt, Red seemed a mixture between scared and amazed when the coffee barista said my name and wrote it on my cup. It was nice to see them again, and I didn't want to tell them that I stopped going to save some money (£65 a month or something). Tag had to go to work, and I had a whole hour to wait. Red lingered with me and we walked all over the centre, avoiding Metro Men and Big Issues. I kept suggesting breakfasty places, and she kept suggesting clothes shops. Either way, nothing much was open, Pret A Manger was too fancy for my tastes, and we ended up in Tesco anyway. 

This morning I woke up at 7:30, to see if I could get back into my exercise regime, and good news is that I can, although with two weeks off it's quite difficult to do. Bring it on. Also, the end of next week will be the start of my second holiday week this year, and it's gonna be fun. And also, also, we might be going to the cinema tomorrow, eek! Fun, Fun, Fun!...

Carpe diem...

Things That Were, And Things That Aren't...

Your past is behind you, and there's simply nothing you can do about it. When the world turns it's back on you, you turn your back on the world!...once said a very clever meerkat.

Yesterday, after some difficulty, I finally managed to arrange a table and a sort of plan for Saturday, when Wodge and her OH will be arriving in the Diff to spend time with the others and I. Though during the process Pill started speaking to me about feels again, and he generally thinks that I shouldn't keep anything in (health issues or something).

He said to me something along the lines of: 'you've had a very stressful few weeks, there have been some big changes. Are you okay?'

And I turned around and looked at him and said, 'yeah, I think I am.' I obviously said that everything with work was sorting itself out, and there's nothing to worry about, and that was about it. And then he brought up a few things that I really didn't care about, and nor was it my business to. I don't think that most people grasped the concept of change. I think I'm a better version of me, than I was a year ago, I know for a fact that I'm a different person. 

I am under no illusions or stuck in an fantasies, I'm much stronger and fitter, and I'm more outgoing and adventurous. I have next to no unhealthy relationships, except perhaps with cream cakes and alcohol (not together obviously). And I really don't like it when people are worried about me, I like to know they care, but not worried (if you understand me, I know I can be confusing sometimes...most of the time). 

You should never worry about me. I walk around this town as if I'm the alpha male! I'm the big dog here, and everyone else who doesn't know me should be afraid. Or that's the sort of thinking I want most people to have, in truth, I don't see anyone as a threat, I treat all with equality (which mostly consists of equal amounts of loathing and benefit of the doubt).

The past is the past, I can't go back and change it now. I know I've thought about it, but I've actually got to that point (well, I reached the point ages ago) where those things just don't seem to matter anymore. Past relationships, traumas, fights, the mugging. All of it gone.

And now there's just me...

Carpe diem...

Oh, and I'm not sure where I was going with that whole third person detective narrative thing. It was fun at the time. Maybe I'll pick it up again soon.

Something New...

It occurred to me last night, whilst speaking with my friends/peers/betters (what ever you wish to be known as) that this blog could be of more use for me as something productive, than something or rather some place for me to moan and groan about the pangs of life. So, after 75 Posts to Making the Unmissable Missable I am going to turn everything around and use this space as a productive workshop for my ideas and a hunting ground for new ones to be slaughtered on this page like freshly squeezed words from a pen.

And without much further ado, may I present to you something I re-found recently, as it was something I wrote inspired by 'L.A. Noire' while Tag was still playing it before the summer. I really must acquire that game somehow. Anyway, I how you enjoy whatever this is or even cold be, and if you have any ideas, don't hesitate to inform me through the proper channels.

Also, for your information, in my older age I've lost the ability to title my scribblings so I've simply labled this 'Something New' (OMG he said the title of the blog in the blog! I love it when people do that!) in the hope that something new will happen and indeed get titled.

“His face. That is all I remember. The creamy eyes to the deep lustful lips. He had no hair, but dark skin. He wore a collar of blue feathers, and...and... I do not remember much else I’m afraid to say. He was with them. He was one of them.”

“But you don’t remember?”

“I remember enough. Or what was left to me to remember. He took them, he took my memories. I have had no childhood, no youthful experiences, no first love, or murder, or betrayal, or happiness. It is strange to think that I have no happiness in my life. I might have done once might you think? Though all I remember is the here and now. So inspector, ask what you will.”

“But you’re here. How can’t you remember God-damn-it?! HOW?”

“I do not know how. I do not know who, where, or when if you are going to ask those questions as well in your enquiry. I simply do not remember.”

“Bullshit. Alright then, riddle-me-this smart ass. Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, you said you didn’t know how, who, where, or when, so why?”

“I see your reasoning. I do know why.”

“Well?”

“Well what, inspector?

“Well tell me Motherfucker!”

“I understand. You do not need to become aggressive inspector. The reason why they needed to do this to me is because they needed this to be done to me. Otherwise you would be asking me all these questions and I would be lying to you.”

“You little shit. You think this is funny do you?!”

“It would have been an amusing outcome would you not say inspector?”

“Who says you’re not lying to me now?”

“Careful inspector, one might think you might lose your temper. I don’t think it would be good for either of us. I would be battered or bruised or dead for one, and you. Well you would be discredited. Disgraced, humiliated.”

“Er, Inspector Sir? ...Sir? ...John?”

“Yes what is it?”

“The Super’s down the corridor and you’ve got the suspect by the neck. Do you want him to walk free?”

“No, I want him to confess!”

“Well as we both know inspector, my memory has been erased, and we both know that I cannot answer any of your questions, and the more I think about it I am becoming less inclined to do so anyway. You have been showing me your true colours after all.”

“John, we need to go. It’s not our case. John quickly for God’s sake.”

“They knew you wouldn’t talk, didn’t they?”

“Would if I could.”

“John, let’s go!”

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. I will more often than not be moaning about life soon, so don't worry those of you who enjoy reading the disappointingly teenage angst this twenty year old goes though. Oh how immature I am.