It's A Nice Change...

Its been a long time since I've had at least a warm coffee that I've made. I either get so wrapped up in what I'm doing and I forget it's there until it has the same temperature as a glass of water or...nope it's the first thing.

Coffee isn't the essence of life for me, although, it could be. I don't require it (well in a sense that I could go without one, but if I don't I get terrible headaches, which I hear are all in my head anyway - ba-doom-tish!) but I like the actual flavour of it. I never used to, finding a coffee coated Revel used to be like Russian Roulette. I'd chew into it, and immediately die of painful and agonising taste, and then I realised I could just spit it out and go for the malteaser one instead. Though, thankfully, my tastes have changed. I can't eat things that are too sweat nowadays though, and again, that's a good thing. 

But it's odd how things change, and have the ability to change, don't you think? I suppose that's one of the wonders of life the universe and everything, the ability to change. And if life didn't change, social situations didn't evolve, personal dynamics (I sound like a Sims loading screen) didn't adapt, things would either stay the same or fall apart, and it's that ability to alter our own ideas that, I suppose, makes us so brilliant, and keeps things fresh and moving, onward to a better dawn. 

Needless to say, that was all waffle because nothing much in my life (that I can tell you about) happened yesterday. I did, however, manage to pull all the muscles in my lower back, and by lower back, it's more the area of the body I fondly call my gluteus maximus. But rather like Mallard said, you gotta keep going if you want to be bootylicious (I'm paraphrasing-ish)... How did I manage that you ask? Well to keep a sense of mystery to it I'll just say that it involved a couple of fish tanks and a pump-truck.

I've got 9 hours today, 12 hours tomorrow, and 9 on Monday before I'm off on Tuesday. And I find that that's the best way to recover from a broken arse, you've got to work it out (or does the song say jerk it out?)

The heatwave is coming again, my phone says it could get up to 25 degrees on Tuesday. Yep, I thought it too, my phone's finally stopped telling the truth because it knows I call it names behind its back and long to change it to something else.

Oh well, as I've successfully not talked about anything this time, I think I'll leave it at that. You guys have a nice day now:

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

-Albert Einstein 

Carpe diem...

Things That Were, And Things That Aren't...

Your past is behind you, and there's simply nothing you can do about it. When the world turns it's back on you, you turn your back on the world!...once said a very clever meerkat.

Yesterday, after some difficulty, I finally managed to arrange a table and a sort of plan for Saturday, when Wodge and her OH will be arriving in the Diff to spend time with the others and I. Though during the process Pill started speaking to me about feels again, and he generally thinks that I shouldn't keep anything in (health issues or something).

He said to me something along the lines of: 'you've had a very stressful few weeks, there have been some big changes. Are you okay?'

And I turned around and looked at him and said, 'yeah, I think I am.' I obviously said that everything with work was sorting itself out, and there's nothing to worry about, and that was about it. And then he brought up a few things that I really didn't care about, and nor was it my business to. I don't think that most people grasped the concept of change. I think I'm a better version of me, than I was a year ago, I know for a fact that I'm a different person. 

I am under no illusions or stuck in an fantasies, I'm much stronger and fitter, and I'm more outgoing and adventurous. I have next to no unhealthy relationships, except perhaps with cream cakes and alcohol (not together obviously). And I really don't like it when people are worried about me, I like to know they care, but not worried (if you understand me, I know I can be confusing sometimes...most of the time). 

You should never worry about me. I walk around this town as if I'm the alpha male! I'm the big dog here, and everyone else who doesn't know me should be afraid. Or that's the sort of thinking I want most people to have, in truth, I don't see anyone as a threat, I treat all with equality (which mostly consists of equal amounts of loathing and benefit of the doubt).

The past is the past, I can't go back and change it now. I know I've thought about it, but I've actually got to that point (well, I reached the point ages ago) where those things just don't seem to matter anymore. Past relationships, traumas, fights, the mugging. All of it gone.

And now there's just me...

Carpe diem...

Oh, and I'm not sure where I was going with that whole third person detective narrative thing. It was fun at the time. Maybe I'll pick it up again soon.

Something New...

It occurred to me last night, whilst speaking with my friends/peers/betters (what ever you wish to be known as) that this blog could be of more use for me as something productive, than something or rather some place for me to moan and groan about the pangs of life. So, after 75 Posts to Making the Unmissable Missable I am going to turn everything around and use this space as a productive workshop for my ideas and a hunting ground for new ones to be slaughtered on this page like freshly squeezed words from a pen.

And without much further ado, may I present to you something I re-found recently, as it was something I wrote inspired by 'L.A. Noire' while Tag was still playing it before the summer. I really must acquire that game somehow. Anyway, I how you enjoy whatever this is or even cold be, and if you have any ideas, don't hesitate to inform me through the proper channels.

Also, for your information, in my older age I've lost the ability to title my scribblings so I've simply labled this 'Something New' (OMG he said the title of the blog in the blog! I love it when people do that!) in the hope that something new will happen and indeed get titled.

“His face. That is all I remember. The creamy eyes to the deep lustful lips. He had no hair, but dark skin. He wore a collar of blue feathers, and...and... I do not remember much else I’m afraid to say. He was with them. He was one of them.”

“But you don’t remember?”

“I remember enough. Or what was left to me to remember. He took them, he took my memories. I have had no childhood, no youthful experiences, no first love, or murder, or betrayal, or happiness. It is strange to think that I have no happiness in my life. I might have done once might you think? Though all I remember is the here and now. So inspector, ask what you will.”

“But you’re here. How can’t you remember God-damn-it?! HOW?”

“I do not know how. I do not know who, where, or when if you are going to ask those questions as well in your enquiry. I simply do not remember.”

“Bullshit. Alright then, riddle-me-this smart ass. Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, you said you didn’t know how, who, where, or when, so why?”

“I see your reasoning. I do know why.”

“Well?”

“Well what, inspector?

“Well tell me Motherfucker!”

“I understand. You do not need to become aggressive inspector. The reason why they needed to do this to me is because they needed this to be done to me. Otherwise you would be asking me all these questions and I would be lying to you.”

“You little shit. You think this is funny do you?!”

“It would have been an amusing outcome would you not say inspector?”

“Who says you’re not lying to me now?”

“Careful inspector, one might think you might lose your temper. I don’t think it would be good for either of us. I would be battered or bruised or dead for one, and you. Well you would be discredited. Disgraced, humiliated.”

“Er, Inspector Sir? ...Sir? ...John?”

“Yes what is it?”

“The Super’s down the corridor and you’ve got the suspect by the neck. Do you want him to walk free?”

“No, I want him to confess!”

“Well as we both know inspector, my memory has been erased, and we both know that I cannot answer any of your questions, and the more I think about it I am becoming less inclined to do so anyway. You have been showing me your true colours after all.”

“John, we need to go. It’s not our case. John quickly for God’s sake.”

“They knew you wouldn’t talk, didn’t they?”

“Would if I could.”

“John, let’s go!”

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. I will more often than not be moaning about life soon, so don't worry those of you who enjoy reading the disappointingly teenage angst this twenty year old goes though. Oh how immature I am.