So This Is How It Is...

I just spent the last day, and majority of the week, by myself, like a big boy. And do you know what? I really don't like it...

I think it helps when I have work to be getting on with or to go to, but I've just not found anything to distract me to such an extreme today. It's happened before, and it'll undoubtedly happen again, where Pill, despite his insistence that I move in with him because otherwise he'll go mad by himself, has gone out without informing me of his plans...

Before I start sounding like a concerned parent. I don't care what Pill does in his spare time, or where he goes. It merely annoys me because since his condemnation of my cooking, he has taken up the mantle of cooking everything (namely curry or chili) and has banned me from doing anything because he either doesn't like what I cook, or the way I cook it. Therefore, when he doesn't come back from his daily outing, I'm left wondering what's for dinner, and since he went shopping to the cost of £75 last week (of which I paid half) I went to investigate what I could cook. As I explored I found four packs of frozen bacon and a pack of frozen sausages (cider and apple if you're wondering - and a variety I won't eat due to the unwanted sweetness in my savouries. I know I must be the only person to hate the coupling of pork and apple, but I do), some chips (why?), plenty of veg, three slices of bread, condiments, a chorizo, and some cheese. So, where's my food? I haven't eaten £30's worth of food this week, and I had to pay extra for that bread and cheese! 

Needless to say, I didn't cook. I ordered some Chinese instead (cos I be lazy) and watched a movie wondering where the bloody hell they could be, when I see a Facebook status from DarkHorse mentioning HB's and food and such. Couples make plans all the time, I don't care, but I do mind when I'm not told that there are plans and that I should plan to be alone. I expected them to be back by about lunchtime with Pill's chirpy: 'just popping out' this morning. 

I guess it all boils down to Pill wanting DarkHorse to move in, which of course means that we'll have to move. I've told him, like I told him from the start, I'm not living with a couple. I don't mind if she comes over and stays a while, but actually living with a couple, its just not something I saw myself doing this year. For one, I'll never get a say on anything.

Have you noticed that this group is fracturing? Or is it just me? Tag and Cherry don't like Pill and DarkHorse, Pill and DarkHorse don't like Tag and Cherry, Pill and I are going to fall out over this moving business because he wants to move his girlfriend in (I see the financial benefits, but on the other hand, no), I don't think HB and I have had a conversation in a year. Everything seems to be splitting again, and that's just the long and short of it. 

Have I given up caring? 

Pill might argue (and he would) that I leave him by himself all the time. And truth be it, yes, yes I do, but I probably wouldn't have done so much if he was ever in the flat in those early days. He still talks to me about money and other shit like that, and asks me about how secure my job is and completely fucks with my head all the bloody time. And yet he's the poor one, or so he says. He sits and talks to me about my life and suggests things I should do. Why is it his business?

I guess when I'm alone, all the dark thoughts do sort of come out. But there's always solace in it all. If I wasn't alone that one time, I wouldn't have randomly started talking to Red, and she wouldn't have become such a close friend as she is now. Tag and I wouldn't hangout so much I don't think, and we wouldn't all hangout together as much as we do. We wouldn't cinema, burger, sleep, and cat, all together. And I like that, but if it wasn't for loneliness it wouldn't have happened. 

I know I can be an annoying and stupid prick sometimes but I just wanted to tell you all that. And I think I've ranted enough and gotten all my crazy out for one day. What do you think?

I'm going to start writing again, and hopefully get this short story finished this week. Then we'll see what I do with it. 

Carpe diem...

Why won't the Rebel Alliance just Quit?!...Take 2.

My first post this evening, sucked.

So as I sit here listening to the 1812 Overture - I emplore you all not to read the previous, aforementioned piece of tripe - and turn your optical nerves towards this post.

Yes, the Rebel Alliance have not been quelled yet, and Smeccles and I haven't even attempted to quell them further since our crushing defeats upon a laggingly white space ship. We even had Darth Vader on our side, and still the good guys won. How is that possible?!

Anyway, I complained enough in the first post about the stupid Rebel Alliance.

Moving on, I'm mostly alone this evening. Out of an 8 manned flat, there are only two flatmates residing here this evening - Smeccles and I. Though that is to change tomorrow evening when Wodge and Pill return from their weekend home.

Where was I? I have no idea. I find writing with music on in the background to be quite a distraction. I don't know how some people do it (Hi HB Sauce). It's an alien technique to me.

As the night draws on, I realise how quiet this place can become. I've never really witnessed it without life before. The echoing halls haunting me with faces on doors. A flickering light, attracting unwanted night life. It's just creepy.

At this moment in time I am in deep conversation with both Chaplin (a non-American friend) and Duckface (an American friend - the name was not chosen by me). They are both of the female variety of the human face, they are both creative, and they both have dark hair. Even now, while Duckface was quoting a poem by Nietzsche (The Stubborn Pen - for those of you who wish to know), and I was telling her that she should feign ignorance and take the credit for the poem. No one will remember that guy. He was too...dull (in my opinion).

Which brings me to the point I wish to make. Writing, tomorrow I will do some writing - and I shall subject you to the amount of writing that will be written, depending on whether or not it does get written or not (it will). It will be of either poetic or science fiction context. And it will be good (I hope).

Which brings me to another point. A 3-Minute Play of mine is being performed in Trinity College Carmarthen on Wednesday at 8pm. Entry is £2-3 and all are welcome (It'll be in the Studio bit at the back). I know, sad right, plugging that, but I'm sure it'll be a night of great stage entertainment. You should come.

I've got to go now. Technically this is already tomorrow's blog, but that's not going to stop me - and you know it (Hi Tag). Other blogs need my immediate attention - for instance, Duckface just made one (not under duress in anyway), and I shall go away and read it now, before bed.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S.

Duckface's Blog: http://unwillingquill.blogspot.com/

Tag's Blog: http://thoughtsofatimetravellingteen.blogspot.com/

Bells' Blog: http://onemoretimewithfeeling-anelebach.blogspot.com/

Scurvy's Blog: http://ginagibbs.blogspot.com/

Why won't the Rebel Alliance just Quit?!

Stupid Rebels...

Okay, so I was going to start this blog with a strong friendship vibe, and perhaps name my friends and say how much I enjoy their company and inputs into my life. But no - I will not start there. Instead, today, I shall complain to you for the first paragraph about how bloody difficult the Rebel Alliance is on Normal Mode on 'Star Wars: Battlefront 2'. It has annoyed both me and my flatmate, Smeccles, so much, that we have now refused to work for the Empire. Saving our games, and moving on to our separate rooms until which time Smeccles will go out and Doctor Who will have come on. But seriously - our collective score for the last game was 300+ - how can computer assisted teams with scores of 1 or 2 beat us?! It just doesn't make any logical sense.

Anyway...friendship.

Friendship is a great thing. I am quite lucky to call several people my close friends. There are those friends who have perfect qualities which I admire very much. There are those who are just fun to hang out with. And there are those who I can trust with anything. Starting from the nearest to my vicinity...

Uni Friends:

These friends, most of whom I have lived with, are some of the newest and quirkiest people I have ever met. The personalities of said group do sometimes clash, however, when the disputes are over, and we've each lost a limb our friendship is stronger. These are the friends who are most likely to have seen me naked (Hi Tag), thanks to others who have decided to pull my trousers and underwear down while I'm having a conversation (Hi Pill).

Home Friends:

These are the people that I've grown up knowing and loving all my life. They are the ones who I usually trust above all the rest. They're the ones I look forward to seeing the most. They're the ones I've usually had a crush on at one point in my life (Hi Clareg). They're the ones I can go to the park with, sit around, eat something, play video games with, watch movies, enjoy myself with (not like I can't with any of my other friends, this should really be in a general friendship section), and of course, get mugged by CHAVs with, while having a pleasant evening BBQ in public. They're the ones I've been beaten up with, their the one's who I have fought side-by-side with.

Distant Friends:

Unfortunately, and it does happen, I do lose contact with some good friends (perhaps, sometimes for my own good). This makes me feel sad. However, when we see each other again, it's like nothing's changed. And perhaps that connection will correct itself once more. I hope that will be the case. And I hope to see many of my distant friends this summer.

Wherever you sit in that list, you should know that I love you very much, and I will miss you all when you're not around. But then that's the beauty of friendship, it's the going and coming back, and wanting to do both that makes friends. Not just the hanging out all the time, but the want to leave and to come back again - that's what makes friendship.

As I write this I think, what would most of my friends say: 'Aww - I love you too Big Tom', 'Homo!', and 'Alright...GAY.'

Christ, that got far too sickening to write - next!

Okay, I don't quite know how to follow that after-school special. Hmm, I am sat in my university halls allocated room ABN4: 9H and I think to myself - where the hell is everyone?!

The truth is, I know where everyone is. It's only Smeccles and I here. And will be only Smeccles and I until the evening hours of the morrow. I wonder what we'll get up to. Will we take on the Rebel Alliance again? Will we watch Doctor Who? Will we watch or do anything at all? All I know is...Smeccles is off out for dinner before Doctor Who - so that plans out the window.

Damn.

Ten minutes to kill. I'm currently listening to 'This is Home' by Switchfoot. You should check it out. It's nice, pleasant, (dare I say it) delightful.

Don't you find, that when you say you've only got ten minutes to go, you run out of things to say. The conversation goes dead, and you know you're the one to have slaughtered it with you observation. Why the hell do I seem to do that all the time?!

Two minutes gone. And suddenly a thing popped into my head, of a presentation Tag was going to do, but didn't in the end. Involving the words 'Batman' and 'Dinner'. It was funny, but it's his joke, and obviously much better in real life.

Next year, it would seem, all my lecturers are changing. The lovely man who is currently the head of my school here at Trinity is leaving - I say leaving. He's apparently not going to re-apply for his job - not that he should have to. Silly administration. Anyway, I'm annoyed, and I have to have that 'stupid woman' twice next year, semester one and two - there's no escape!

No doubt, next year (the THIRD/LAST one) will be bloody difficult.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Should I write a Western? I'm writing a Sci-fi at the moment, but I watched '3:10 to Yuma' with Tag last night, and it's got me thinking - Deadwood?