There's no breakfast in the house, so I'd best make this a quick one, but not really, because who needs food? All those adverts telling us that it'll keep us full until lunchtime are bullshit. They keep me okay until about midday, I grant you, but midday ain't my lunchtime!...
It was a typical day yesterday, until someone mentioned Kingdom of Sweets to me. Isn't that closed now? And indeed it was, unless you were a St David's employee, for then you could waltz up to the doors, all boarded up, flash your St David's Card at the bouncer, or your uniform like I did, and enter into the carnage on the other side. Tens of people scrambling for the open-air pick-a-mix, the shelves just about bare save for a few items. I grabbed a couple of things and then got asked what I had on me, money wise. The answer 'about £4.50' caused the cashier to grab my bag and fill it with all kinds of goodies, to the brim, and she simply said, that'll be £4.50. I may have got a lot of sweets, but the majority of them are crappy, american, and some what odd. Who makes fruity caramel? I mean really!
Either way, it was cinema night, and I had to run out of work and carefully saunter to the car, where the others were eagerly awaiting my arrival. We almost crashed when I climbed in and Tag pulled off, but hey, he was caught up in the moment, and I think the Corsa wanted the space. We sped to the Bay, and strutted through the cinema as if we owned the place, which for the most part we did. The kids went back to school, and the place was quite empty. We got good seats on account of the movie being released two weeks or so ago, and we settled in for some bloody gore...
And bloody gore we got, there were knives, machetes, axes, hammers, nails (ha! you deserved it), a screwdriver set, and a crossbow with only two bolts or something. It also gave us sex and boobs in the first scene and sort of tried to continue for the next ten or fifteen minutes, but alas, ain't no body got time for that. And after the initial jumps and scares, animal masks and everything, the movie sort of took a turn for the Home Alone (there's nails in that too). A poor stranded Aussie girl, trying to save herself from home invaders and...
*SPOILER ALERT*
half the family she thought she was going to have a good time with. 'You don't know how lucky you are to have parents like yours.'
We started rooting for everyone to die, and when that bad guy jumped through the window on to the nail, I threw my arms in the air with joyous intent. It was a bad film, but it really did engage and encourage us to join in. I like to think I would at least try and fight the invaders. They looked a bit pants. And I don't think, if I had the upper hand, that I would let any of them live just to kill them a little later and stretch out the plot. Wasn't the Tiger Mask the one that got stabbed in the kitchen, and then later kicked in the bollocks, and bludgeoned with the Meat Tenderizer?
Thank the Lord there isn't room for a sequel. Sure she survived, but going all Exorcism of Emily Rose on that shit, ain't gonna happen...
*END OF SPOILERS*
Either way, we exited, happy in the fact that we engaged with the film, and wandered to Chicken House, as per tradition. Although it was only 9pm, and there were people there. We like the place to ourselves, we like the exclusivity 11pm gives us. We made our way to Spoons to somewhat quench our thirst while we waited, and then accidentally ordered food. I have to say, the Mount Stuart has nothing on the Western, or the Gatekeeper for that matter. The drinks are okay, but the tables are always sticky, and the food is somewhat under par. At least give me my own knife and fork and not expect me to get it from the dusty rack over by the bar. Also, lipstick stains on the wine glass, a clear indication of Hep C which as Tag said will give us all Hep C due to Cherry giving it to Tag, Tag to me, and then I shall inevitably give it to Red (I don't know how, and I don't know when, but you're gonna get some - yo gurl, how you doing?).
But, creepiness aside, it was a nice night, but the food left more to be desired. Perhaps we could just grab some Subways and eat at the secret beach next time? Dominoes pizza and Red's flat?
Just a thought. Anyway, I might go find some breakfast now. Perhaps try that new Tesco by the station, apparently it's massive. I shall be the judge of that...
Carpe diem...
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