Sunday, 13 June 2010

Have you ever seen a Slobble-sucker?

I went in the attic today...

Well that was one of the worst decisions I've ever made in my lifetime so far. The attic, our attic, the place where all our respectable and very much clutterable mess has found it's way. Today's job - remove the clothing.

I, being quite an over-weight gentleman, found the gateway into the realm of At-tic quite a squeeze. On numerous occasions, because it took many trips up and down (no they weren't run ups), the portal took my trousers from me, and I had to recover them swiftly, so as not to suffer embarrassment. Also, being a broad man, my shoulders had to bend at a bizarre and otherworldly angle to enter through into the space above.

Now the space above was then so restricting and cramped that I employed my adventurous brother (who is far slimmer than I) to rummage around in At-tic and find all the clothing-like substances. Needless to say that he was far nimbler than I was and can be in a confined space. He discovered almost sixteen bags worth of children's clothing (mainly) - just keep-sakes my mother and father never wanted to be rid of. And then their true motive for keeping the keep-sakes - Money!

Father has always spoken fondly of the money he has stored away in a secret account where no one can see or even benefit from it. But I think I've rumbled his plot - his money is tied up with the vast swathes (I told you they were vast and swathey) of clothes and other such At-tic residing heirlooms. I mean, who keeps that many clothes? Who keeps just one curtain? Who combines railway track with nursery furnishings? But of course, it's all (mostly) going to be sold, and guess who has that responsibility?

You've guessed it...muggings here.

What have I learned today?

Never have too much stuff, you're only going to have to clear some space for it all. I've learned what a Hallmark is, because for nearly two-and-a-half hours this afternoon I was researching them, being handed different pieces of Silver to price and date just for knowledge's sake and all. It was dead-interesting mind. I've learned that a troy-ounce (what Silver is measured in) is heavier than an ordinary ounce by 0.09 ounces. I've learned that one troy-ounce of silver is worth £12.50. And I've learned that you can't heat custard up in it's carton - things go boom (I still got warm custard though).

A productive day don't you think? Well that day is going to turn into a week at this rate, especially if I'm working on it all by myself. I've now got to go and research into boot-sales in Bridgend. I hate boot-sales (sorry Wodge and Pill, but it was - not a hard day's work, but - a long day's work). This is a silly idea - and my brother informs me that only a quarter of the attic space had been cleared, and that there are still more clothes to be bagged and sold. ARGH...I nearly wish I watched Football (I said 'nearly' not anything else, just 'nearly' - I'm still thinking this clear-out is better than the World Cup, and I'm right - and you know what else is? Wimbledon - only 10-days now).

I hope I get a holiday and get to write something worthwhile this summer. Because at the moment, as my Magic 8-Ball would say: 'Outlook So-So'.

What have I gotten myself in for?!

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. I haven't seen a Slobble-sucker. Nor do I know what one is or does. Any suggestions?

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