It's A Kinda Magic...

Yesterday was a day-off, and thusly I utilised it in such a way that meant I cleaned the entire house before midday, did a bit of shopping, and I still managed to fit in ironing, four movies, and a meal...

Because obviously you don't want to hear about my cleaning exploits, I'll skip a bit...just one of the four movies I watched yesterday was a new one, fresh off the press, and hyped up to the max. Now You See Me is a Movie starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelsen, and Mark Gruffalo, and occasionally features Is-la Fisher, My Cocaine, More Than Freeman, and Davey-Uglier-Than-Jim-Though-Both-Kinda-Odd-Looking Franco. And as it is an American film it is fun, although it does like to spoon feed you to conclusions before the conclusions are made and spoil all the surprises.

I would have liked to see far more magic, and far less magic, if you get me. The tricks in the movie were proper real magic, and not anything anyone could possibly do, and that spoiled it a bit for me. Though I did enjoy, and noticed a trick with a coffee cup I've done on more than one occasion.

Before the movie however, we Four Horsemen ventured to the realms of Steak and Sheikh where the service was misunderstood, and the chicken came out clucking. The Shakes were good though. Red even spontaneously bled because it was too much for her, that and she bought the largest burger on the table (I helped her a little bit). 

I have a desire to learn card tricks again now, not only because it would help my job, but because I think it would be very very very cool. And I sort of want hair like grownup Jesse, though saying that, the soul patch looked a little OTT. 

In other news, as I went out shopping for presents, I found a map, and it got me thinking about a certain something I could dress up as that wasn't a Hobbit for once. And I think, if I put the effort in, it'll be pretty cool. Pill wants me to get goggles (Steampunk stuff), and I've been thinking about a big long dusty duster jacket. Maybe I could style my hair super-saiyan or Tai-from-Digimon and tint it organgey too. Either way, I'm planning on going as some sort of Cartographer (MAPS!). Though Red did have a good point, why not just Indiana Jones it?

I missed Luther the other evening, so I shall have to iPlayer that shit, and the tennis is still on. Life is good, though it would appear I have some daily commitments on Sunday, Wimbledon Final Day (poo).

Carpe diem...

She Doesn't Like You Either...

Well, that was an experience. I've never witnessed so much genital pulling, blood, or mouths before, and that was just one short...

One sunny Saturday afternoon I was walking out into the brightness, when I was greeted by a Red at my door. It was a very pleasant surprise as she said we were going to Jamie's Italian for dinner. It was a very nice evening spent with friends. One of the few evenings we had spent as almost adults (except for me almost going 'cooy!' to the waitress to get her attention). I had pasta, and I loved it. It was one of the specials, and I probably wouldn't order it again without checking out the price. But oh well...

Then on Sunday, as I returned home I received a phone call from Cherry (although the first five or six didn't go through - bloody network problems!) inviting me to theirs for some live television and pizza hut. I remembered the days when I occasionally went to pizza hut two or three times a week. I don't know why, perhaps they are addictive, and since I had pizza hut on Friday as well when I entered the realms of Clareg's birthday, I felt a tad guilty.

I 'cooy!'ed at the waitress again, and we were on our way to an evening of soft drinks, and live television. Top Gear and The Returned (both wonderfully good, but only 8-parts?! WTF? That's the French for you - or something to that effect) and then we watched V/H/S.

Oh God. It's basically a movie of movies, with an on-going story throughout, however, some of the movies were better than others, and thus the movie did kinda get less scary as the evening went on. The first short involved a succubus and a bit of rape, mainly from the drunk men, and eventually the succubus herself. She full on rips off the male member and leaves it lying on the floor for us at one point. Tasty. So that set the mood, and then when the next short happened we were all expecting a continuation. The same room, the same misfortune, a girl looking for a ride. So when it turned out to be lesbian killers (and that's lesbians who kill - I had to clarify for Pill last night) I was a little disappointed, though it did have the shit-yourself-scary moment (Hi Tag!) when we didn't know about the lesbians.

Either way, watching scary movies with Red, Tag, and Cherry was fun. I'd do it again (and I mean proper scary movies - the sort of run bitch, run! type shit), because it got us all worked up, and really into the moment, unlike most other movies.

The next morning, Tag and I had our daily tasks to do, so we caught the earliest train. Red (a morning person, like myself) tagged along, and we went to town. Collected a coffee from my old haunt, Red seemed a mixture between scared and amazed when the coffee barista said my name and wrote it on my cup. It was nice to see them again, and I didn't want to tell them that I stopped going to save some money (£65 a month or something). Tag had to go to work, and I had a whole hour to wait. Red lingered with me and we walked all over the centre, avoiding Metro Men and Big Issues. I kept suggesting breakfasty places, and she kept suggesting clothes shops. Either way, nothing much was open, Pret A Manger was too fancy for my tastes, and we ended up in Tesco anyway. 

This morning I woke up at 7:30, to see if I could get back into my exercise regime, and good news is that I can, although with two weeks off it's quite difficult to do. Bring it on. Also, the end of next week will be the start of my second holiday week this year, and it's gonna be fun. And also, also, we might be going to the cinema tomorrow, eek! Fun, Fun, Fun!...

Carpe diem...

I'm A Bell End...

I like friends. I love all my friends, and I know that me being all sentimental and shit like that at the moment, means like I might miss out a lot of what I planned on saying about every single one of you. Because you're all wonderfully special and brilliant, and you've stuck by me even though I've started to become rather dickish, toolish, and quite frankly an arrogant arse. So, I just want to say thank you...

But yes, recently I've noticed yet another change to my overall personality (I swear if Pill read this he would call the men in white coats). It's not a very big change, but it has made an impact on a few things I say, that I doubt I would ever say again, or remember saying in the first place.

Confidence is a stupid thing in my hands. I'm quite sure of the words coming out of my mouth, and yet the people closest to me don't understand a single word, mainly because I've gone and got them in the wrong order, or they've gone and become some creepy pervy comment (usually accidentally). I know when I'm being creepy and I know when I'm not, so it sort of hurts when people don't understand that I'm not (you get me, blood?!)

For instance, the other night, when shopping in Tesco, Red and Cherry stopped in the middle of the aisle and I put my hands on Red's shoulders to try and move her and Cherry along. I would have done that if it was anyone of my friends stood in the middle of the aisle. As such, the action was perceived by some as the molesting gropes of a sinister swine. And the offer to carry Cherry to bed was yet sincere and found to be creepy. I don't know, I don't think I'll ever get this shindig right.

Cherry, Red and I sat in the Ponty Garden waiting for the rain, drinking in the two o'clock somewhere afternoon, and making light of the music on the boombox. We waiting for Tag to return from work, so we watched countless movies, and ate too much. When Tag appeared we replenished our stocks and continued to eat too much, not drink enough, and watch movies. I got an angry stare for offering to sleep on the sofa, to save the hassle of an inflatable bed, and that was that.

That next day we were driven to town to do our daily tasks, and I was to train to the Big End for Clareg's birthday get-together. It rained almost the entire way from the train station to his house, and since departing the train, I didn't see a single soul until I reached my destination. I almost took a picture, except I was concerned the zombies might have gotten me if I stopped.

Apparently World War Z, Man of Steel, and The Internship are very good.

I got to Clareg's, and was greeted with Cider (ma fav in a Chalice) and welcomed by a load of old faces. We spoke of life the universe and everything, and much merriment was had. I made plenty of bad jokes that some people laughed at. I met up with an old ex-friend of my sister, and pizza hut was had. And oh how I regret it. Two days of eating large quantities of crap. My body hates me.

Oh well. I got a lift to the station (thank you very much). I got called a bell end for booking the wrong week off work (to be fair, that was a bell end kinda thing to do). And I got back and to bed for about midnight, before waking at 5am, 6am, and finally 7am where I just had a shower.

I finish today at 5pm. If you fancy doing anything, but let me know, but other than that I'm looking forward to day off day (Wednesday) for sleepings. Hi TimTimmonie! (thank you for reading)...

Carpe diem...

The More You Know...

I don't think I have anything to talk about today. Anything at all. Did nothing interesting happen yesterday? Well mistakes happened, but I'm always making mistakes, even obvious ones like that, and living with the error of my ways, but what can you do? I'm a mistake-prone person. Forgiveness is the key I suppose. So, weed...

The other evening, whilst getting drunk and stuff at Tag and Cherry's, I said that I wouldn't mind trying some weed. A tad out of character I will admit, but when you live with Pill, it does occasionally pop into conversation. Would you try it if you had the opportunity? Well, after all the years of peer pressure, I think I might give it a little go, though don't get me wrong. I wouldn't smoke that shit, that's a disgusting way of ingesting anything. And it's smokey.

And I just said I'd try it to see how it felt, and not to use it medicinally to rot my brain and slow my already retarded speech down a bit. Could you imagine? My brother's been on morphine, and still says that it was the best thing he's ever had, and my Father occasionally likes talking about the time his friends brought round and spliff to their quiet country home and got high. Dad and Mum weren't part-taking apparently, but Mum decided to make a lot of quiche for the munchier and munchier stoners. I always like to think that that bit took place at like 11pm at night in a forested area - because I know where they lived.

The urge to burger is going to be satisfied today after work (finally!), and everything will be okay. I've got the day off tomorrow, my right foot is aching, so I bought new shoes (work shoes, don't get excited ladies), and I can't wait for payday (Friday) because birthday presents have to be bought, and I'm going to Clareg's Birthday House Party between working times. I can't get too drunk or tired, but all will be well. I even think I know what I'm going to buy him. I am rubbish at this stuff.

Carpe diem...

A Late Night Queen...

I don't plagiarise. I copy and leave all the best bits in!

Yesterday, I spent most of the day with Cutlery in my pocket, and a lot of change in the other (the perfect tool for getting rid of coppers - throw them at beggars!). My day was mostly uneventful. My first day back at doing my daily routine and nothing much had changed.

At lunchtime Red sent me a text asking about Burgaz, which made me think about burgaz, and my longing desire for one. I think they are my favourite summertime food. It's like tradition. Pill was away for the evening, so I vegged out on the sofa (saying that, I got back at 9pm, so there wasn't much vegging) and watched The White Queen on iPlayer. It's quite good, if you like that sort of thing (that sort of thing being historical drama with a sense of the natural supernatural). 

Pill seems to have done a number on my back, it's not painful, it just feels tight and numb. I'm sure it'll sort itself out, along with my arse and ankle.

I think today I has the house to myself again, as Pill is going to a BBQ (weather permitting, and the weather permits right now), so does anyone want to do an activity together? Preferably one that doesn't involve spending money because payday is Friday - although, saying that, payday is Friday. Why the hell can't I spend right now? I have popcorn. Just saying.

I've still got to buy a load of birthday presents. I am really crap at this. But they become good in the end, you'll see.

I wonder what my day will entail. I think I'm getting commission this month (yay!). I should redo my CV I think. See what's out there. Fish around. Tackle the market. And so on...

Now, I'm just droning on about nothing in particular. You guys don't like reading this rubbish do you? I'll take your silence to mean that you do. I don't know how to end this now, the end?

Only kidding, Carpe diem...

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. Hahahaha... wait, what? I mean, are you really happy or really evil? Evil? You mean, do I have, like, ulterior motives? I'm offended, Kim. Wounded, even? Hurt, Kim.

Roasting Neighbour's Drinks...

Let's face it body, we're not as young as I used to be, but you've got to admit we're having more fun than we used to. And I think it's time to learn that you are a picker-upper and not the picker-upped. I may have also broken Red's arse, but I'm sure I can explain that one away in a little non-committal, non-predatory manner...

Saturday, the day of wine and pizza, dawned and saw me, myself, and my Mother/Sister hanging around town. For being the shoppers of the family, my Mother and Sister didn't do very much shopping while they were in the Diff. I met them while they had breakfast at John Lewis, and I stayed with them a while after a trip to Primark and the Works. I bought a plug for Pill, and I checked my work rota. Monday morning 11:30am sharp! (WTF? I've got to wait until 11:30 to start work! - so here I am, blogging).

Anyway, I bid farewell to ma famile, and wondered homewards for an afternoon of Halo, before having to return to town to meet with Red as she finished work, as was pre-arranged the evening before. Tag called me as I sat outside Red's Work, and I almost got sat upon by a fat man insistent on eating his peaches. No euphemism intended. He had finished, and wondered where I was, and upon discovering, he met me three-minutes later, badass speaker in-hand. And no less than two-minutes after that we watched Red push a man out of her shop and she joined us.

The trio walked back to mine, and then with Pill and DarkHorse at the ready, we drove to Tesco for 'supplies' and then to Tag and Cherry's to drink said 'supplies'. Fire was loved and lost, than to have never fired at all. HB was there, which came as a surprise to some. We got wet outside (namely my bum), and persisted in the interior dances of a nightclub. The walls started to leak with perspiration, and the tunes blasted out into the night. Neighbours hated us, but who cares, fuck you neighbours!

There was a bra taking off competition (I did not learn anything, join in, or practice), and a boxer-taker-offer award, which I did not win either. HB went around kissing everyone, and checking that I was alright (again - I'm getting tired of that), and I discovered that I could not only lift and carry two women on each arm (thank you Red and DarkHorse - against your will), but I could carry one woman on my front and one on my back, until the one on the back let go of my back and subsequently found herself on the floor. I'm amazed it took us three attempts and that was the outcome each time. I made Cherry touch the ceiling, and Pill tried carrying me in a fireman's lift, before dropping me on my back (so that's where that bruise has come from - it's all lies, they're not even square). The most damage I came away with is a slight graze on my left ankle, and sore muscles.

I didn't drink as much as I hoped, only getting through a bottle in total, and HB kept pushing me off the blow up bed and stole the duvet. Next time I get the sofa. I've also done something to my left shoulder, though I imagine that's something to do with being dropped.

The next morning, some of us went to work, and others went to ours. I went to ours, and forced HB to play Halo, before I allowed her to play Skyrim while I cooked dinner. I did start at 1pm, which wasn't bad considering I didn't have very much equipment or space to do anything. Red came over, movies were watched and food was had. In the end the meal turned out to be mainly mush (which was disappointing) but it tasted alright. The conversation sort of went down hill from there really. Tag and Pill started discussing things that I wasn't interested in. HB made a few remarks about the way I pronounce things (the right way I should add), and I sat there in silence waiting to go home, except I was home.

It was nice, but I don't think I'd do it again, well not for the whole crowd. And besides, roast dinner is quite a boring thing to cook - even if there was Cauliflower Cheese.

Everyone left, I recovered my iPod again, and DarkHorse and Pill did the washing up. We sat and watched a Knight's Tale and the evening was ended.

And I read the definition of glomping and it made me smile. Thank you.

Carpe diem...

Kicking Back Like It's 2002...

Today I woke up feeling like shite. It was as if a hangover were to marry a deadly illness and procreated a great discomfort to the world (namely mine). Obviously I'm exaggerating, but I did require an extended lie-in, and the headache hasn't shifted all day...

I gathered together my morning routine and shrunk it down to 'shower' and I was out the door with a mug of coffee in hand. I trotted to the train station and was shortly on the train to HomeTown for the day. For I was going to meet with my oldest and dearest friend Clareg. 

I know some of you know him, but I don't think you know the extent of the oldest and dearest-ness. I've known him since probably the age or 4 or 5. And we've basically grown up together, his mother treats me like a son and offers bed and board whenever I'm around. They've taken me on day trips with them, and on holiday (they're where I caught the Italian bug). They've supported me like my own parents, and I was once told that his mother was very grateful for me because I was someone for Clareg to play with (because he was an only child, until his sister came about nearly 10-years ago - though I could be wrong about that). So yeah, we've got history, and fun history at that...

I got off the train and walked up the hills towards his home. It wasn't far, almost like walking to Red's except for the hills. I got there, went in through the back door (giggity) and was greeted by his dog, who jumped up at my crotch, like she always does. His dad was working in the kitchen, and I eventually found him in the sitting room. We chatted about exercise and life and stuff for most of the morning. Went to Tesco, I didn't get normal lunch stuff because he's been telling me about protein and cautious carbs and such (bread makes you fat?), so I got two sausages and a bottle of water. He had 4 chicken thighs and some Pepsi (I will this health round). As we returned I suggested we get the xbox out and play some Halo, as normal. And Halo-4'd it up, just like we did back in 2002 when he had the original xbox and Halo: Combat Evolved. 

How times change...

Carpe diem...