Return to Pandora...

I don't know how I feel coming back and playing on my Xbox...

As you know, as of late, I've lost all appetite for just about anything and everything, including my Xbox. The feeling was not uncommon to going to the cinema with people I'm not used to going to the cinema with, and going places that I associate with that one person.

I don't know, it's weird, and I know it's going to all hit me at once when I see her again - and we are going to see each other again, I'm going to her birthday, we're going to Venice, it's going to be odd. 

I'm not sure whether we're pretending to be friends or not, or she's changed her number or something. But she's still, most definitely, ignoring me. Now I haven't been bugging her with texts about how I miss her, how this whole thing is stupid, how I don't even know how this started etc (okay there may have been one or two), but when I'm texting her about important things, i.e. how we're getting to London to get to the plane to go to Venice, I'd expect at least some recognition from the text.

I don't know, it's weird, and I can see that if we didn't have friends tying us together, HB and I would probably never have seen each other again if she chose to. And for me, there's nothing more upsetting in the world, than the feeling that she hates me, the feeling that we can't be friends, that feeling that things won't turn out okay in the end.

People keep telling me that things will work out in the end, but it's quite hard to see - she's stubborn don't you know.

I wonder...Tag? Did you listen to my insane ramble on Sunday? Did you start talking to anyone about anything?

Anyway, this was meant to be about the return to Pandora. As most of you should know, Borderlands 2 comes out tomorrow. In the run up Clareg bought Borderlands to see if he would like it, he does and we're very close to completing it. But the thing is, although I'm treating it as a distraction, I'm also getting that usual feeling. Borderlands was HB and I's game, it might still be for all I know. We were the ones who spent ours in her room playing and re-playing the game plus all of it's DLC. And we had planned on doing Borderlands 2 as well, though I doubt very much that that will actually happen. 

The feeling is very much like every time I step into my local cinema, it's the same with the Sushi place in Cardiff, and the journeys to Tag and Cherrybelly's and Pill's - I find Pill's to be the worst of all, because that's where it happened. Needless to say, I've only been there once since, and now that I think about it, that might be the cause of my negative feelings towards Pill (so sorry about that, I don't mean them).

I just feel like there's no way out of it, and that, if this part of my life was going well, then everything else would just slot into place.

And I get this feeling that she might be getting some conflicting and difficult thoughts as well. Her most recent writing seems to suggest so, but then her blog was titled 'Calling Bullshit' - which I felt was, in some way, directed at me.

Please read Evolution if you can: HERE

Her birthday present still hasn't arrived, but I how it's as cool as I think it is.

I might be nominated for an award, that's something at least. Which is pretty cool. And yesterday I applied for a work placement for a Feature Writer for a Woman's Magazine (I can't see it personally - I don't know women's interests, and another thing, it goes on for 10-weeks and I don't think they take into account holidays like an actual job would. The application also says must have drivers license, now I don't know whether that means, must have car as well - I've been down that route before. It didn't end well). I'm quite nervous about Dark Horse's applications for the Civil Service, it's not that I can't do the job, it's that I can't get to the job, but we'll see. 

Until next time bloggers...

New Phone New Blog...

So here we are again, after nearly two-weeks of beautiful and scorching weather for the beginning of Autumn, the rains have returned...

Hello everyone, how have you been? I've not been up to much, and yet I've managed to fill my days with just about anything - which is strange for an unemployed person.

I've started a new story, one no one has read yet which I post on a Friday on devinatArt - the links of which you will find below. Have a read, and let me know what you think.

- The Prologue

- Chapter One

As for anything else, housework and xbox play a key part in my day-to-day now - with the odd text and phone call to a few people. It's all routine now. The dog wakes me up at 3am maybe 4am - I let her out, shout at her, and then go back to bed. I get up when everyone has left the

house at 9am and I start my day of cleaning, writing, reading, and xboxing.

At the moment I'm only xboxing because I'm writing reviews - I know exciting right? Links of which can also be found below. But that problem with the reviews at the moment is that I didn't quit on one review - a certain fable if you will - and I tried and failed too many times on that one review so I'm not in my editor's good books and I'm on my last chance. So fingers crossed the review I sent him this morning should re-assure him.

- From Dust

- Mass Effect 2

- Red Dead Redemption

In other unfortunate news, my phone died - but don't worry I have a new one. And this Smart Phone, using one of its many apps, told me that if I worked out for half and hour every day, and ate right, that I might just lose 88 pounds by 2015. Now 88 pounds is 6 stone, or 39kg, I don't know about you, but putting it that way, compared to how much I weigh now - 288.4lbs (you work it out) doesn't seem like much. Does it?

I've forgotten to tell you something secret, and it'll stay that way until I know what's happening. So watch this space for excitement - hopefully.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Here's something I used to do to get people to blog. But if you want to join in then by all means leave a comment down below, or start up you're own blog. I don't care which, I just want to share the blogging love.

Anywho - Question: If you were a food substance, which food substance would you be?

I would be either a Hog Roast or an odd shaped Potato. Go forth and answer the question!!

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

I hope this summer is one of the wettest on record, because I don't think there was a single nice day at all. Oh to be Welsh...

Anyway, sorry for being away for so long. I know you missed me, and wondered how I was doing, what I was doing, and what I plan on doing, but I was a little bit preoccupied. I can't remember what with to begin with but there were just a few busy weeks dotted one after the other until finally I stayed home one of the weeks due to an Xbox Live hacking which lost me £51 of my non-earned pounds.

I took this opportunity to descend upon my sister's room with as much grace as a Death Star and make it my own. I have an arm chair now - though there's still stuff on it so really its just an arm surface. I'll get a picture for you now. And you can see how unfinished it is.

Anyway, so I've been doing that, and I've been watching Bleach - oh I love that show (Thank You HB Sauce), and I've been meeting up with Bridgend friends who are returning to University. Oh how I wish I was going back in this Double-Dipped Recession or so the News is calling it. And I've been watching Deadwood, and I've been writing.

What's that? What you didn't know? Yes I have been writing for the lovely people over at GamePeople.co.uk and that's been fun - you can see all the reviews I have on the site at the moment here. Recently, however, I've been struggling with a Fable 3 Review - and I've written and sent it off for the 3rd time now, I think. I've rewritten it 5 or 6 times though. It was really difficult.

But anywho, getting off topic...

Unfortunately, my brilliant friends over at Zapi Comix have had to cancel their Zombie Apocalypse due to the underwhelming sale of tickets. And that is just one of the more unfortunate things that have happened in recent months. Others are equally upsetting, and the rain just tops them all off. I think the Rain has been getting everyone down a bit really. We're confined to the indoors unsure as to whether it's day or night because they look the same. It's all quite unfortunate, as that is the word of this paragraph. On Monday it all got to me a bit, starting the day with an Email from my GamePeople Editor saying could you write this again but come from a different angle? And then, on top of that it rained, and I went driving for the first time around my neighborhood, which I've got to build up my confidence from. I don't know, it's just been an alright week, not as exceptional as others, it's all rather BLAH!

Oh yes, by the way, I have started to learn how to drive. Things are going well, apart from that hiccup on Monday. I think I will start to properly write again soon. Either tonight or tomorrow. It's been too long, and my characters are getting bored existing only in my head. They want some fixed adventures.

I've been using a notebook kindly brought back from Turkey by my parents on the suggestion of HB Sauce (Thank You again), and I've been jotting ideas down for, reviews, stories, and blogs. Though that hasn't really helped me yet - I go off on long tangents like this entire blog seems to be at the moment.

And what else? Ooo, ooo, guess what I've been reading? Well you'll never believe it, but Dark Horse now has a blog - found here - and I've been reading the story she's posted on deviantArt - found here - and I've also been reading Tag's chilling tale - found both here and here.

Is that it? I think so. Anywho, watch this space and we'll see what happens.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. If you're interested - and she'll hate me for this - check out this...

Silver Clios and 30 Rock...

Well as I was exhausted after doing barely anything on Wednesday - after Graduating on Tuesday. Oh yes, I've Graduated. Pictures on Facebook, enjoy.

Either way, on Wednesday it was the 6th July 2011. Now if you didn't know - and I don't think you do, the 6th July 2010 was the first and only time HB Sauce asked me out.

I have only, at the moment, 3 major failures in my life, and messing up at 11pm on 6th July 2010 is my number one. Which is a pity because, right now, that I'm living at home, and not with my makeshift family back in Carmarthen, every single Silver Renault Clio I see, I hope its hers. Damnit! This is getting too sad now.

Its also rather strange seeing as everyone back in Bridgend thinks that HB and I should be together because they're all pushing for it as well. Its like the Universe is speaking to - well just me actually.

Okay, so plans for becoming the man HB wants:

1. Learn how to drive - Not only will this be excellent for my confidence but if I know how to drive then I can be spontaneous more often and take her out at the drop of a hat. And surprise her and the like.

2. Vin Diesel it up. Not only will it be good for my self-esteem and my overall health, but if I look sexy then there's always the hope.

3. Become the Breadwinner. If I have a good job, then obviously my life is going to be easier, and I will be able to do the whole learning how to drive and getting a car, the insurance, and move out eventually.

So I've got to stick to those things and all will be well.

But for now I will return to 30 Rock, which is a brilliant American Comedy to rival How I Met Your Mother. It stars Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin, and what else can I say but watch it!

Carpe Diem, until next time bloggers...