Worries...

My Father just blew me right out of the water...

If you hadn't heard, tomorrow's D-Day, my Hamleys Interview. Well, I shouldn't call it D-Day, I am optimistic, or at least I was. My Father just turned round to me and said, 'You know, Venice will still be there in the future, this job might not be.'

God damnit he's right! 

I wish I was employed by now. I know he's right, but Venice is the one thing I've been looking forward to for such a long while now. The light in the dark as it were. I don't know.

Before you start to worry, I'm not not going to Venice. Like I say, it is the one thing I've been looking forward to for a very long while now, but the question is, is my enjoyment worth more than my employability?

I don't even know why I'm questioning this if I've already made my mind up that I'm going on Holiday.

On another note, I hate being Wished Luck. I don't mind if people wish me luck in their minds and prayers, but in person, in text, in email, is all quite nerve-making. It doesn't do me well. 

If you couldn't tell, I'm a bit nervous now. My suit is prepped and ready, and I hope I'll get a good night's rest of the morning train. Perhaps I'll see Cherrybelly and Tag on their way to work, and perhaps we'll go have lunch or something.

I've been thinking about what I'm going to do if I don't get this job. I've been thinking that I might pack a bag and just start walking. I'll take the dog with me as well, she always wants to walk. I'll just keep walking, getting away from life as much as I can, it obviously doesn't want me. But then I think, winter is coming, and Venice is just around the corner.

I know it's all very stupid, but I can see why Cherrybelly worries all the time now. Life is hard, and it's just getting harder.

I really hope I win the lottery on the weekend, or get Real Magic published soon, then I can say that I've not wasted my time, I've not been idle. And all the worry can go away...

...it can go away for everyone if I win the lottery. I was working it out the other night, no one would have debt, everyone would be happy and free.

Oh I don't know...

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...