Monday, 8 October 2012

Like Death...


Well, this morning I felt like death. I feel much better now, but still, it has to be said...death.

I know I haven't written in a while, it's getting quite frustrating. The weekend felt good, I went to a Cowpots Surprise Birthday party, it was fun, and there was much merriment. I got to hang out with everyone, well mostly everyone. And there was a lot of wine and drink, and food. So tasty.

It was good seeing Wodge again, and there was one thought that crept up on me, and I wasn't expecting it - what if HB and I stay away for a year, get our own lives, and then come back and everything will be where it was. I doubt that, but blah.

Everyone's telling me to ignore her, forget her, move on, yes it's certainly a case of easier said than done. Wodge started talking to me about my feelings towards HB and they were really tough questions Wodge - I don't know if I'd still like her when I'm married with kids. I think if I did, I wouldn't have a wife and kids. 

I don't know. And I don't think anyone does.

I also came to the realisation, that before HB the last girl I probably, properly fancied, was in Year 8. The Second Year debacle was definitely a self-destructive phase - and don't ask me about it, there are somethings that I don't want to revisit or tell anyone about. 

We can't continue like this, otherwise our friends are going to become just one of our friends, or every gathering is going to be awkward, and ignored, and blah blah. 

If we push each other away we're not going to be the friends that we say we are. This doesn't feel like a friendship - or at least not one I've ever been a part of. It's weird.

It's good to know that the trust is still there though. I asked for her username and password to some software she gave me a while ago, and she replied with haste. 

She's also drawn some badass fanart of my comic strip - The Skyrim Escapades. I shouldn't read into it, I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but do so. 

Blah, blah, blah, I have not made logical sense. I don't know why, we'll see what happens later on to see if I can translate any of this.

Until next time bloggers...

1 comment:

  1. Soweeee, I didn't know lots of wine makes me ask difficult questions :( Hope you're ok!! x