Saturday, 27 July 2013

Winter is Coming, A-gain!...

Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, ba, Ba, Ba, Baaaaaaaa...

That's enough of that right now. 

The Game of Thrones board game isn't actually that bad when you know how to play. But it did get a lot like Monopoly towards the end as it had gone on for six-hours and everyone bar the winners had given up on life. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but you know the point in Monopoly when you start giving up? The one where just one person seems to have all the money and no one else can possibly win, but you've got to go around giving away your money, mortgaging (Death Gripping - not a Star Wars reference at all but a bit of Latin for your ears. Mort = Death and Gage = Grip) your properties, and then going through the whole bankrupting process. You know you're going to lose. No one, apart from Banks and J.K. Rowling has gone from being bankrupt to being wealthy again.

But I digress...

We gathered in our humble abode, after Tag and I had finished watching Fast 5 and Fast 6. It was one hell of a Tostesterone filled afternoon. Epicness, Splosions!, and Vin Diesel. I can't wait for Fast 7 (the final one) and Red and Tag have said they'd come with me to go see it. So why didn't we see Fast 6 in the cinema? Could you imagine the Splosions! on the big screen. Plus the ultimate heroic thing of catapulting yourself off a car, after you've just blown up a tank, across a bridge to catch a woman in mid-air (Superman-style) only to land, bank first into another car's windscreen, and for the woman to be the only one in pain. 

And then Pizza, Drinking, and Game of Thrones happened. 

The guy in the shop said that the game would be very good if you have 3-6 dedicated players to play with. Little did he know, that we were not reading the Game of Thrones, but were huge fans of the TV-Series (save one of us), and that we were in no way dedicated to the rules of play, nor to the facts and figures involved in playing. Red had no idea what was going on. No of us knew how to play, the 32-page rule book and numerous internet videos sought to that, but she had the added lack of Game of Thrones knowledge.

Pill was Baratheon, DarkHorse lingered as Lanister, Tag was Tyrell (pretty, pretty flowers), Cherry was House Stark, Red was Martell, and I was the Greyjoys. So we set about explaining to Red everyone's relationships to each other.

'First of all you should know, Pill is a cunt, you can call him that, it's fine. And that Cherry, Tag, Red, and DarkHorse are all fucking Pill. Tag is fucking Pill's brother, Red is fucking Pill's other brother, Tag's sister is fucking Pill, Cherry's sister was fucking Pill, Pill's father used to sleep with DarkHorse's Daughter along with everyone else. DarkHorse's Daughter fucks DarkHorse's Son (or vice versa), and the Greyjoys like to fuck themselves. 

Simple enough for you?

Either way, we toasted, we drank, we ate a pizza the size of Pill, twice, and we played the hell out of that board game. It would have been much better if we played it quicker than we did. A 3-hour game would have been long enough I reckon, if we ever all play at once again.

Now I'm looking forward to Date Night Sunday with a double-bill of the Returned! (squee!) But can it possibly top the levels of awesomeness from my Tostesterone filled afternoon/evening? I'll let you know.

Carpe diem...

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