Tuesday, 29 March 2011

PAT Test Man and Other Worthless Superheroes #2...

As you all know PAT Test Man was useless and a complete waste of space in his blinding orange jacket. Luckily for PAT Test Man I mistook his identity for HASP (Health and Safety Prick!). HASP is an alter-ego with the blinding orange jacket, and PAT Test Man is actually quite a cool dude who is friends with Student Body. Luckily for HASP PAT Test Man was filling in on the day of the PAT Tests otherwise Student Body would have kidnapped him and the world would have been lost to the realms of No-PAT Tests, but Student Body allowed PAT Test Man to continue, even though he took a long time about it.

Either way, nearly a week has passed and HASP and Estatatron had turned up at the ABN Block again, to check on PAT Test Man's work. Surprised by what they saw, HASP and Estatatron made the students shut their doors, remove stuff from Fire Extinguishers, because we all know Extinguishers are useless in a building that never catches fire due to its large concentration of Fire/Blu-Tac/Dirt/People Retardant Wall Paint. Made them remove life and posters and other such implements from their doors and of course they removed the Sun from the outside, making all the students lives worse off than they really would be in the Sun.

Student Body saw all of this from the Attic Bar and was not impressed.

Once HASP had the students were his wanted them, he proceeded with sticking 'Fire Door' stickers on the outside of the student doors, so that the students could not escape. Screams and pounding on doors echoed in the corridor, but HASP and Estatatron just laughed and sat and feasted in the kitchen.

Student Body was angered by all of this. She got out her phone and called in the reinforcements. Within seconds, because they live so close, the Council Henchmen had arrived in their Cleaning Vehicle, but HASP knew about the Council Henchmen because of the previous story. He sent in the Porters, they rode on lawnmowers and destroyed yet another Vehicle of the Council's.

She called in Double-D but he could not withstand the force of the Porters either, and nor could the Lecturers. Estatatron had ordered the Lecturers to be locked in their offices, the the overwhelming number of Porters, lead by the Sperminator, locked them up.

Student Body saw all this and felt hopeless. Her students were being locked up and maltreated. HASP and Estatatron were in the employ of the Vice-Chancellor, and making a move on then was openly going against them, and Student Body was only allowed to exist because they said so. She had to comply to PAT Tests, Fire Alarms, and Health Inspections too.

Could this be the end of the students and Student Body? Will office workers and groundsmen win out? Will the students be free? Will the Vice-Chancellor ever show his face? Tune in next time for another jaw dropping episode of PAT Test Man and Other Worthless Superheroes!

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

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