An Off Day...

Yesterday I was late. Now I don't know about you, but I like to think of myself as quite a punctual person, I'm not sure about presentable and polite, they're both subjective, but punctuality was certainly something I was good at - until I got my dates mixed up, and whilst brushing my teeth at 9:05am I realised that it was my blue moon shift (9-5) instead of my usual (10-7). I spat out the tooth paste, grabbed everything, and ran - alas dear reader, I had not the opportunity to saunter to Tesco and purchase a breakfast like I thought I was going to. I ran all the way to work, and apologised very muchly for my tardiness, caught my breathe and went to work...

Tag and Red came to visit a couple of times, and that was probably the highlight of my day. Customers drove them away though (bloody customers)...

After work, it got a bit weird too. I was home early, and Pill wasn't - I did the washing up and perused the internet for nothing in particular. I think I'm going to get a keyboard for my kindle, just so I can pretend to be a high-class business man on the train to London at the end of the month. Who knows? I've also been thinking about what my Mother has gotten me for my birthday, considering she was in Cardiff to buy it a couple of weeks ago. My birthday's not until November. I did find a school friend's blog yesterday too, he used to be quite a good friend and we grew apart as we all seem to have done. And I saw another old school friend of mine (with a baby) in the shop, and the person who helped me and my friends when we were mugged. It was weird seeing them all grown up. But anyway, moving on...

Pill and DarkHorse arrived a little later with shopping, some of which I had already done (we now have four loaves of bread), Pill set about getting ready to do my exercises and I heard the timers go off, I knew he was done. DarkHorse forbade him from doing another Set (something I haven't tried yet either), but he came out exhausted, drenched (soaked!), and he congratulated me on being able to do that three times a week with heavier weights. 

Then he cooked curry (again) and I managed to smash a glass. He called me a twat and then we began a back and forth that was wonderfully immature. I called him a 'garlic knob' and he looked disgusted. We laughed, trying to picture what a garlic knob would actually be like (the answer is horrible), then great white buffalo was mentioned, and then we got back onto the HTC game - mostly for DarkHorse's amusement. I showed them the trailer to Filth - and they really want to see it too. And then they sat down to watch Black Butler - an anime that's not as racist as it sounds - and I sat with them for a while. 

I almost napped, but I went to bed instead. Last night I dreamt of plug-in air freshener, I was woken by a dripping gutter outside at 4am, Pill slammed the door on his way out at 6am, and my alarm woke me up at 7:30am. All in all, not a very restful night's sleep at all. Tomorrow, I aim to sleep well - fingers crossed...

Carpe diem...

Normality?...

So, it turns out in the black recesses of the night, I still have dark thoughts. It actually turns out that in the bright gloom of the afternoon sun, I also have dark thoughts. For instance I was walking home yesterday, and I wondered what it would be like to get hit by a speeding car, if it jumped the red light as I was crossing the road...

I'm not sure whether that was a dark thought or just me trying to envisage the scene and the feelings and the hurt involved, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. I think I'm probably weird for that thought alone, but then even while Pill was here I continued the stream of badness. It turns out, I have to be told something's a secret for me not to tell anyone else about it. I think that annoys Pill the most about me. Perhaps there is something mentally wrong with me. Will I go see someone about it? Probably not, because I don't think there's anything wrong with me. Every human being has the capability of imagining and experiencing exactly the same things, given time. I suppose the car hitting one is most influential because of my father and grandmother. But hey, maybe not.

I also came to the conclusion, whilst talking to workmates, that I'm not the best when it comes to series decisions, topics, or life-altering events. If you ask me anything along those lines, my mouth (which is already a stupid talking tool) says something I don't mean, or a blue joke no-one gets but me, and I ultimately look stupid. However, give me a day to think about things, maybe even shorter on occasion, and I can give you my actual opinion and feelings towards the matter at hand. I'm stupid, and quite emotionally retarded when it comes to most things actually. And I have no idea why...

Or perhaps I'm just being silly and questioning things that aren't there, or normal things altogether. Pill made me sit and watch Pirates yesterday. It wasn't unpleasant, but as I'm going on a home-visit on the weekend (not sure which day) he wants me to bring back the other two Pirates, that aren't on Netflix. 

I'm already missing the sun. Soon it'll be autumn, where walks through the park will be even more colourful, birthdays, Halloween, bonfire night, are all going to be awesome, and then it'll be the hugging weather, and the best time of year (behind summer obvs), Christmas. A time of warmth, love, caring, and even more fun. I think this has been the best year so far, a year where I've actually been able to do stuff, lots of stuff, and not regret a single expenditure. But I'll save the summary for New Year's Day, like always...

Until then, Carpe diem...