History Of A Year...

250 Posts later and I can say that the shop has been open a whole year now, and I've been there a year and 10 days. It's strange how much has changed in that time. I've not even known Red that long yet. that would be 27th February, not that I'm counting or anything...

I've moved, I've aged, I've gotten slimmer, and richer, and overall I think I'd say I'm happier, though I'm not sure on whether or not I can measure that. Life is pretty sweet at the moment, though, and dare I say it, its starting to get on the ordinary and mundane side. The home, work, food, sleep, routine, is starting to get to me and I'm getting the urge to go sploring (#) soon. Though I'm not sure where.

Castell Coch perhaps. Just 6 miles up the cycle path, walk up there and back Sunday morning before lunch. It could be done, if the weather's okay. I don't mind the weather being rotten, but I think my camera might, or any companions who accompany me. Barry Island Fish and Chips? Penarth Pier with the finest Steakhouse in Wales with a cold pint in the Custom House on the way back?

Summer's not here anymore, but why should that stop us? I fancy checking out more of the Wye Valley too, though I'd need a car for that. I would say Gower, Cardigan, Pembroke Coast, Brecon Beacons, but my childhood was mainly spent rambling those places, I even fell off a small cliff in Gower into a field of Gorse Bushes. Not a nice end to the day I'll tell you. I've been swept out to sea, and delivered minutes later by the water to the sands, but that was Ogmore I think. I've broken a leg and walked home on it, but that was school.

Where was I? Ah yes, band photos. Let's face it guys, we can look sexy as fuck, and band photos are practically the only way we can capture that slow-mo strut without Tag's iPhone. Although, saying that, we do require to make a movie I think.

Reading trees are hard to come by in the winter, although a pub with a fireplace, and and afternoon tea menu could be fun - like a proper Sunday afternoon off, though we hardly get Sunday afternoons.

Everyone's coming to Jamie's Italian for my birthday this evening! I swear this is the last you'll hear of it. I'm not used to this choosing places and making plans for me malarkey. And that's an odd thought in itself I think. Shouldn't you be able to know what you want to do?

I want to visit a new place. I want to spend the day, week, or month there. I want to know its history, traditions, accent, and experience it was my friends. I want to sit and write something worth writing in my mind, it's got to be epic, fun, possibly dark, emotive, and fantastical. And I want to be happy, and I think I've got that mostly covered. Everyone has their off days...

Carpe diem guys!...

Cause And Effect...

Yesterday was a good day. And it wasn't just a good day in the sense that nothing cataclysmically bad happened to me, there were no train derailments, or tsunamis, or alien invasions in my life yesterday, it was just an ordinary day, and yet one that made me smile more than usual. And I think that was just about it, smiling. My workmates saw it, some even pointed it out (and some even got suspicious of it). Why was I smiling? No reason, and yet every reason. And now I'm starting to sound like a rather pompous swine with nothing better to do than to watch a daffodil grow through the seasons, from life to death to re-birth. 

I can't actually remember much of what happened, apart from my workmates' suspicions. I was kindly complimented on my previous blog, I was observed by the general public as being happy with my job, and as I slept last night, or as I tried, a line or two of a poem or a song entered and twisted and simply popped into my head. I rolled over and typed this into my phone:

'When Winter Leaves and Winter Trees

Bring Summer Long to her knees,

We shall battle on, we shall battle on...'

I'm not entirely sure if those lines are good or not, and I'm not even sure if they'll come to anything. But I'm glad I wrote them down, because a few lines I've been having recently, whilst in the grips of the sleepy pathway to slumber, have been lost to the recesses of my mind, not to be recovered. 

But, as with all goodness, there's a flip side. Pill's convinced (as always) that I'm coming across as wonderfully fake, and wanted me to sit down and talk about the future again last night. DarkHorse is on about buying a house early next year, and wishes for Pill, HB, and I to move in. I can only see a handful of problems ready to occur and none of which he wishes to discuss with me. There are just two things I require from a house/flat/place I'm living in apart from the obvious ones:

1. It needs to be within walking distance of town, not really any further than half an hour. I can't rely on public transport again like I was before Christmas. So much time wasted, 10 hours a week, 40 a month, 120 over the three months I waited. I spent the equivalent of five days waiting for trains to and from work, and I don't want to have to do that, or something similar, again.
2. It needs to have somewhere green to explore. That's an obvious one, for me at least. Somewhere to get lost, and somewhere to find things you weren't expecting to find.

There are of course other things concerning me, and convincing me that moving out alone would be a better option entirely, but none more so than Pill and DarkHorse wanting me to be a part of the decision. I may live there, but in the long run, it would be their (her) first house together. Why should I get a say in where they live? And for that matter, why would they want anyone else there apart from to make it conveniently cheap?

Maybe I'm just having doubts because doubts are worth having, unless every instinct in me is saying 'this is a bad idea', I'm not sure. Cause and effect, do something and make something else happen. You make a decision, and make something else happen. And never before have Ioan Gruffudd's words made more sense (two days since viewing them). If I do this now, I have a few ideas on how it plays out, and likewise if I don't do it. It's another big decision, especially after I just got settled into our flat and everything. I've just about dulled myself to the bean related meals and subsequent flatulence from across the room, doors slamming at the 6am wake-up call, and the 'you cook, I'll clean' regime.

It's a tricky one, and it'll take some thought, but in the meantime, I've got to take every day as it comes, and be happy in the fact that tomorrow the sun will rise and that opportunities are ready to be made, found, and explored to the fullest...

Carpe diem...

Also, have you heard 'What does the Fox say yet?'...

About Time And Other Things...

I don't think I could put into words the emotions and feelings I felt last night, in fact I don't even think I want to share them with you as they were so deep and personal, as I watched Richard Curtis' new film, About Time with my nearest and dearest...

I'm not even going to tell you very much about the film, I just want you to see it, and know that when the credits rolled, I didn't go 'is that it?' I turned to Tag and said, 'I would gladly sit and watch that again right now.' And I don't think I've ever said that about a movie, ever. There are films I could watch to death, but not over and over, so well done About Time. There's just so many perfect moments, wonderfully crafted, and each as beautiful as the next, so wonderfully crafted in fact that I just want Richard Curtis to write my life from now on. I wish I was a charming, bumbling, babbling, fool, with the greatest super power in the world (yes I said it). There's only one or two instances in my life so far that I would want to do over, and do properly, and they're only in the past year. Any before then seem utterly pointless now, and I suppose that's what the movie was essentially all about. 

I know I might see the world a little differently to a lot of you. I see most things with a sense of wonder and awe, which is probably why I like wandering around so much. But it's always words I seem to stumble on. I realised after the movie, that there were questions shooting around in my head, questions I would have normally asked, and been none-the-wiser for the answer. There were things that I could have said, and chose not too, and I think at one point I was actually charming for two-minutes. 

We made our own perfect moment last night, none complained about the cold, and we barely spoke. We just looked out over the marina (mar-in-er) with a sense of adventure, accomplishment, and thoughtful reservation, cocktails in hand, wondering what was out there, and gazing at the underwater beauty only the night time could bring.

I think that might be the most perfect moment, that snippet, that we've ever had. And we have had some perfect moments together. Lounging in the back garden with wine, music, and a midsummer's evening, wandering in the park during a heavy shower, and the countless hours we have comforted and enjoyed each other's company at our favourite haunt. And I wouldn't go back and change a thing, but I would go back and relive them all.

I was even surprised to see a familiar relationship on screen, that just so happens to be one I have with my father. And I wonder, when the time comes, whether I will think 'did he love me if he didn't show it?' The answer is of course, and always will be, 'yes'. 

And before I return to my day-to-day there was something else I wanted to share with you. Something that played before the film, and something so epic, so get-up-and-go, and so tremendously brilliant that I wanted to share it to encourage me to do even better, again. (And Red, I didn't mean to insult you - if I did, you made a face - when I said 'guys, shall we go to university again?' - you were obviously included in the question.)

All in all, I want to say that last night changed my life, and has made me a better person, and I certainly hope that's true. I'll try and shut up a lot more, think about what I'm about to say, and bumble and babble through life as charmingly and as foolishly as I possibly can...

Carpe diem...