A Game Of 20 Questions...

Okay so if I get the ball rolling with this whole honesty thing then undoubtedly I need some questions, and undoubtedly Google, being the beacon of all useful, useless, and all around weird, knowledge has given me some. Well I say Google, but I got these off Yahoo after I found it on Google - you get me.

Oh, and I should say right now, it would appear that these questions are for a 14 Year Old's game of 20 Questions. I wonder how inappropriate this could turn out to be...

1. Have you ever stolen anything?

Easy answer here, No.

2. Are you a Virgin?

Yes, of course I am. Do I care though? Not really.

3. When did you get your first kiss?

I'm not too sure. If you specify which sort of kiss, then I'm sure I'd be able to get you an answer.

4. Who's your Crush?

Well I thought that was more than obvious, but for those of you you haven't read the last 100 posts of my blog then...HB Sauce.

5. What's the weirdest food you Like?

I don't think anything I eat is particularly weird. Others might though, my Mother would tell me it's Sushi, but my Friends might say Egg Spread Wraps.

6. Have you ever lied to Me?

No, not knowingly. After all, I've never met or spoken to you. I think using these questions might be getting more difficult.

7. If I knocked you to the floor and took your clothes off, would you have sex with me?

Erm...weird question for a 14 Year Old to be asking, don't you think? But sure, though only if you're on this list:

- Tag

- Cherrybelly

- HB Sauce

- Dark Horse

- Pill

- Clareg

- Clareyloo

- Ewan McGregor

- Damian Lewis

- Kate Beckinsale

- Jessica Biel

- Emma Watson

- Anyone I Haven't Mentioned

- None Of The Above, except the obvious ones...

(Weird that I named the Men first isn't it?)

8. Will you accept my Dare?

Sure...what is it?

9. Have you ever worn a piece of Girls Clothing?

Is that the dare? I've put a dress over my head before, and put my Sister's Coat on - does that count?

10. Would you rather kiss Me or a Monkey?

Well if you're Human, then, probably you, unless you're a Monkey in which case probably not.

11. Who's a better kisser Me or Your Ex?

Well as I don't have an Ex, I'm going to have to say you, but then saying that, we've never kissed.

12.Have you ever cheated on another girl?

Not knowingly.

13. Have you ever looked through someone's drawer without their permission?

I don't think so, never without permission anyway.

And...

Well that appears to be the end of the questions. I think the Yahoo 14 Year Olds don't quite know the amount of questions to ask during 20 Questions. Hmm, either that or they got up to some horrible underage fun before they finished asking the questions. I shuddered before I finished writing that.

Anywho, if you guys would like to ask me anything then just go ahead and ask. Also, I dare you to answer these questions in your blog-type-thing - it just might be a fun thing to do.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

A Century Later...

Well here it is, the 100th post!

Aren't you lucky for following me all this way? The emotional roller coaster and creative splendor of my existence in cyberspace! Well from here you'll now be thinking where else will he be going with this tremendous blog in blogdom? The answer, where ever you want to go.

I just want to thank my family for this wonderful, and apparently, human right of the internet, I want to thank Google for providing such an outlet for me and countless others to rant and rave, and I would like to thank my friends, without whom there would be very little content.

I will tell you everything you want to know, I will be honest, brutally, and horrendously honest. I just wish I knew where I stood with some people. But it's the small things in life which make me happy, whether it be time with Friends, a nice cup of tea, or just HB Sauce in all her brilliance.

I know this wasn't much of a 100th! post, but it was something. Hopefully I'll get back into a routine soon. So you guys take care, and very much Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

Nearly There...

Well it's been a while, yet again, and, yet again, I can only apologise for my obvious lack of blogging between now and the last time I blogged.

Well it's been a very wet and relatively miserable January, well for the most part. I've signed on, had my first lot of payments and expect many more. I feel like a much larger person, mainly because all week I've been dining out on Take Away and now my jeans feel tight. I've been waking up late morning and going to bed after a late night. And I've neglected my writing, reading, and general exercise. Also this blog.

There is one thing though that, now I don't want to say keeps me going, because that just sounds completely depressing and bordering on the suicidal. So don't get me wrong when I say 'keeps me going' I'm not depressed or suicidal, I'm tired, just very tired. And the one thing that sort of wakes me up are my friends. They keep me awake, and annoyingly enough they keep me motivated when I'm with them, but I can't do anything, because I'm with them.

I feel drained, sort of stretched, like butter scrapped over too much bread.

Carpe *yawn* diem, until next time bloggers...

There's Clearly Something There That Wasn't There Before...?

Yet again, in the whole confusion of my mind and soul I find myself thinking this same question over and over again. Should I or shouldn't I?

I think you all know by now, as you've all clearly read the previous ninety-seven posts that I am almost certainly obsessed/in love/stalking/whatever you want to call it with a woman named HB Sauce (names and descriptions are often left out here due to my unwillingness to spread the word and generally acknowledge these thoughts). Well recently again, as its happened before and it will no doubt happen again and again until something changes, I've been seeing things that might not probably exist and are just the friendly advances of a girl I have fancied for donks - and for you American readers, and generally everyone else 'donks' is not an action but a measure of time, like giffy and mandellas.

Anyway, you know this, and I know this, and I'm quite sure that even she knows this, but it's a hard thing not to discuss anything of the sort with anyone I know, and even here, due to the denial factor in my head not willing to hear negative feedback. I can take criticism and negativity about anything and everything in life and my writing but not about this subject. I don't know why, maybe I'm just not attached to any of the above...that makes me sound like a bad writer - scrap the entire paragraph!

Either way, I can't get this thought out of my head that she actually likes me and that I should do something about it. And if that wasn't enough to urge me on, certain comments from both our families expect us to have done so already or we will do soon. And yet again that's just get together and not something sordid. So as you can see there's not only pressure in my head but also in my life...it's unneeded pressure indeed, but reassuring, if not misleading.

I should mention here that our families spent a bit of time together over the Christmas and New Year period - my mother is friends with HB's Aunt and has been before HB and I knew about one and other. Its just a very odd situation to be in, her extended family seems to know me by name and she continually hangs out with me and, in fact, we're going to have Sushi tomorrow before coming back to mine for a movie and maybe some telly.

Hang on? Are we dating? Is that what this is? Are we dating without actually saying that we're dating? I don't know why I use the term 'date' it might be due to the fact that I have never had one, and I'm actually completely naive in the ways of intimacy and subtlety and women for that matter. That doesn't mean that I'm much better at understanding the ways of men, but I like to think so, as I am one. Either way, my head has just gotten round to thinking that we are actually, to use the term, 'going out'.

I'm almost definitely being stupid, but if you've got any advice on the matter then please don't hesitate to comment.

She's being friendly and I'm more than likely misreading the signs again. I've never been this close to a girl before, and I hate that I can't say anything, or at least feel like I can't because we've 'talked' before. I don't think I ever got a word in edge ways in those talks and I probably went with whatever she wanted. Well I've changed a lot since those 'talks' but my feelings haven't. There must be something wrong with me, I must have blocked out all the 'talks' and plowed on through. I'm a mental...

Anyway, I think I've rambled on enough for the time being, I've got to go prepare some vegetables now. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

The Awkward Moment When...

Well you know where this is going...

*YET ANOTHER EMOTIVE AND HEART-WRENCHINGLY TRAGIC INSIGHT INTO HOW MY MIND IS TICKING OVER. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE STOMACH FOR SUCH THINGS PLEASE SKIP AHEAD UNTIL YOU SEE THAT I'VE HIT THE CAPS BUTTON AGAIN*

I don't know why I use this blog as a sort of diary, but here goes nothing...

Typically the dark days of winter are notorious for dark thoughts of loneliness and betrayal. And that, with the added cabin fever, makes everyone quite cranky and on edge but also slothful and glutenous.

Well yesterday I think I reached my tipping point and spilled all this darkness and fever and edgy gluttons everywhere. Well I say everywhere, it was just to one person, and it was just one thing I said, but it put me on edge and opened my eyes to how much of a fool I really am. I'll give you three guesses who this person was...

All I said was, well it was a completely childish thing to say really, and I don't think I'll repeat it, because it was so stupid and childish, but either way it made her say 'Dude, don't be awkward. You know what I mean.' And I replied 'Yes I do.'

Well I'm now hugely embarrassed because the whole thing told me that I was being a truly unsubtle being, which is something no one wants. You can't force anything to happen, you just have to be natural about the whole situation. Though saying that, at the same time I can't stop feeling this way. I don't know what to say about the whole situation. People expect us to be more than what we are, which at the moment we're just good friends, which is not what my mind wants us to be, though at the moment it's thinking that we've had a falling out because of this whole thing and that we're both going to be awkward about everything and everyone. But that's just my mind being my mind. I think it's because of these winter months. No one in my family does well, mentally, in the winter - mainly because we all have to spend time with each other.

*YOU MAY CONTINUE READING FROM HERE IF YOU SKIPPED THROUGH THE TERRORS ABOVE ME EARLIER*

Well thankfully I think that's enough of that, and I should possibly take this opportunity to tell you that I have been drawing. It's something to do, and if it amuses people then who am I to deny my abilities? If you want to read any of the 'Badly Drawn Adventures of Big Tom' then please click away!

New Years is just around the corner, and once it's happened I'll be glad, I don't know why it always feels like a fresh start, but everyone always treats it as one. We're all going to lose weight and achieve great things this year! Well for some of us that's bound to be true. This year, at least, I'm going to become a driver, and a member of the healthy and employed. And if I achieve all that then I'm sure my other goals, like moving out, becoming a proper Author, and travelling the world will eventually follow. That might be a lot for just one year you're thinking, but it's a leap year as well so we have even more time to fulfill our dreams and stop sitting at home, at our desks, dreaming.

Well said? I think so. To all of you, a very Happy New Year. I hope to see, speak, and hear from you all very soon. With lots of Love...

Carpe diem! Until next time bloggers...

96 Posts Later...

I have no idea why I don't really write these anymore, but it would appear that I don't as often as I did. I don't know why this is though it might be due to my lack of life at the moment. I've been job hunting in these past months while my friends all continue their employment or education and I suppose that makes me quite jealous, but not so at the same time.

Over this Christmas Season I've been sleeping in as well, though I think that's due to illness and general tiredness. I don't know why I've been tired a lot recently, but I was talking to Pill the other day and he was feeling the same, it must be an end of year thing, though I imagine it's because he's got a lot of real work to do.

I think it's safe to say that I've eaten too much, ignored my driving, and become a tremendous slob during this celebration, and that's far less than I've done before now. Though saying that, during my Mother's annual Christmas Party last Friday, HB's Aunt, and partly her Mother were encouraging me to catch HB under the Mistletoe - if you understand me. I really don't know where to stand with HB, or how she feels about the whole situation. I do know that my feels, on the other hand, have not changed in the slightest, and for that matter, they might have gotten stronger. *Sigh*

I remember why I don't write these so often now. It's because I never have anything to talk about apart from what's on my mind and in my thoughts, and she's always in my thoughts. I know I'm sad, I'm a sucker, and I'm stuck this way.

New Years is coming up, so I think it's only time for things to change in one way or the other.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. I've been such an idiot.

Christmas Lights...

I don't know why I leave it so long to post things between things, but I'll tell you November was a very busy month...

Well I say November was a bit of busy-ness but now it's December and Christmas is just around the corner. I have decorated, given gifts, received things (Thanks Tag), and sent out my Christmas Cards to the four corners of the globe believe it or not. I've sent things internationally this year. Christmas is getting big.

And with all this Christmas stuff you have to mention the food, and I had a tremendous time at the Goolliams' Flat eating and drinking and having a good time. After all Christmas is a fantastic time to spend with all the people you love most of all from HB Sauce to Pill, you're all brilliant.

Unfortunately, it's yet again that time of year to be thinking about what you're going to do in the upcoming year. And that's always frightening. At the moment I have two plans - ooooo look at me planning things. Only one of these plans I like, but the other one will probably be better for me. Either way I'm sure you'll hear about it at some point.

I hurt both physically and emotionally, and I don't know why physically. Emotionally I'm confused, and before you start Tag, no I'm not gay, I know you want me to be, but no, I'm not. Editing the NaNoWriMo thing might get my mind in order, I don't know.

Perhaps I'll get something else you requested from me done later Tag, how would you feel about that? Or maybe I'll read something. I wonder which is more likely.

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Merry Christmas!