*YET ANOTHER EMOTIVE AND HEART-WRENCHINGLY TRAGIC INSIGHT INTO HOW MY MIND IS TICKING OVER. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THE STOMACH FOR SUCH THINGS PLEASE SKIP AHEAD UNTIL YOU SEE THAT I'VE HIT THE CAPS BUTTON AGAIN*
I don't know why I use this blog as a sort of diary, but here goes nothing...
Typically the dark days of winter are notorious for dark thoughts of loneliness and betrayal. And that, with the added cabin fever, makes everyone quite cranky and on edge but also slothful and glutenous.
Well yesterday I think I reached my tipping point and spilled all this darkness and fever and edgy gluttons everywhere. Well I say everywhere, it was just to one person, and it was just one thing I said, but it put me on edge and opened my eyes to how much of a fool I really am. I'll give you three guesses who this person was...
All I said was, well it was a completely childish thing to say really, and I don't think I'll repeat it, because it was so stupid and childish, but either way it made her say 'Dude, don't be awkward. You know what I mean.' And I replied 'Yes I do.'
Well I'm now hugely embarrassed because the whole thing told me that I was being a truly unsubtle being, which is something no one wants. You can't force anything to happen, you just have to be natural about the whole situation. Though saying that, at the same time I can't stop feeling this way. I don't know what to say about the whole situation. People expect us to be more than what we are, which at the moment we're just good friends, which is not what my mind wants us to be, though at the moment it's thinking that we've had a falling out because of this whole thing and that we're both going to be awkward about everything and everyone. But that's just my mind being my mind. I think it's because of these winter months. No one in my family does well, mentally, in the winter - mainly because we all have to spend time with each other.
*YOU MAY CONTINUE READING FROM HERE IF YOU SKIPPED THROUGH THE TERRORS ABOVE ME EARLIER*
Well thankfully I think that's enough of that, and I should possibly take this opportunity to tell you that I have been drawing. It's something to do, and if it amuses people then who am I to deny my abilities? If you want to read any of the 'Badly Drawn Adventures of Big Tom' then please click away!
New Years is just around the corner, and once it's happened I'll be glad, I don't know why it always feels like a fresh start, but everyone always treats it as one. We're all going to lose weight and achieve great things this year! Well for some of us that's bound to be true. This year, at least, I'm going to become a driver, and a member of the healthy and employed. And if I achieve all that then I'm sure my other goals, like moving out, becoming a proper Author, and travelling the world will eventually follow. That might be a lot for just one year you're thinking, but it's a leap year as well so we have even more time to fulfill our dreams and stop sitting at home, at our desks, dreaming.
Well said? I think so. To all of you, a very Happy New Year. I hope to see, speak, and hear from you all very soon. With lots of Love...
Carpe diem! Until next time bloggers...
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