Showing posts with label pushing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pushing. Show all posts

Monday, 11 November 2013

Armistice...

Am I really that guy that just writes and writes to get inspiration that isn't around the corner, but will inevitably let you know that he's been writing because he has a blog? This, and many more questions, are still floating around my head after last night's drinking session.

But first let me tell you how I lured Red into having drinks with me on Friday night. Yes, it was entirely intentional, and yes, there was no other motive to the trap. Opting for the Bay rather than Friday Night Rugby Filled Centre (that sounds like a bad doughnut) we wondered in the rain to the Jenkins where a round of drinks was purchased and a chat was had about everything and anything and mostly about the loud mouth who sat behind us. Thankfully he left a short while after I had made it clear I disproved of his loudness. Either way, deciding we were hungry, we left the premises to discover the new Chippy down the Bay, and man were they good, and instead of staying in the warm and comfy booths (candle lit yo) we wondered out into the Bay and found the bench we had found ourselves on many Moons ago talking about anything and everything. We reminisced, watched some fireworks, and ate our chips before heading home.

Saturday Night was my Italian Mama's Birthday, at which I got very drunk from the Clarey Vintage (homemade wine) and listened about far too much family history, from where my Great Grandfather used to live in Cardiff, to bouts of depression throughout the family (the ups and the downs). And there I was also told to inform everyone that they were more than welcome at my Mothers (plural) homes for Christmas and that there was plenty of room and food for them all - I doubt that, but it would be a big family Christmas that hasn't ever happened before ever to my family. Either way, the plan offended a few and I'm just getting most fed up of this talk of Christmas and Birthdays, because I'm not going to make anyone happy what so ever. There's a likelihood that I will be working both Christmas Eve and Boxing Day so why am I going anywhere? As we all know the earliest I'll have to be in work on Boxing Day is 9am and the latest 9:30am. 

And last night I must not have been in the right mindset or something because birthdays and Christmas and other such topics just didn't interest me. Too much playing on my mind already. Tag's denied his mother twice now for Christmas: 
There's clearly no where else she would rather be, than with you her only son!
I had a weird dream last night too. It was a sort of Robocop meets Wizard of Oz meets Frankenstein thing. I think I must have been the patient, or having an out of body experience, when I see these other men with robotic limbs and stuff like that. One has a RoboBrain, another an Arm, and there was one with a Leg, and the nurses sat them down and detached them and removed my body parts to attach them to me. It was horrible, and they gave my parts to the RoboMen leaving me like a piece of scrap. I didn't appreciate it, and woke up very much tired, and in no mood to do anything. 

I just need to empty my mind of worry, anger, and things that aren't or didn't happen. It's not a healthy way to be. I'll be pushing people away very soon (attention seeking as always).

I doubt there'll be a Carpe diem today...

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Reconsidering...

I think the likelihood of me living with Pill next year has dropped dramatically since he announced that Caerphilly might be an option. I don't know whether he was being serious or being a dick, but either way the amount of one bed unfurnished flats for under £500 in the surrounding area is a bit scarce, but that's just within a quarter mile from here. How nice is this place?

I think it's a bit odd thinking Caerphilly, although quite nice (I've passed through it on occasion), is a possibility. I have friends from there who have difficulties getting to work due to train and public transport problems and just think it's only 20 mins away by train (he said sarcastically). And if they do move there I can see them becoming more and more detached from our little sect. Which I suppose, as they are engaged now, would have probably happened anyway. Either way, the announcement has certainly made me reconsider his motives. 

He's also started this thing of seeing how far I'll go to help out or be generous to my friends, and enjoys telling me I've failed every time I do something useful. I believe he's testing me, or conditioning me, I'm not entirely sure. I don't think he likes how I said I was going to get everyone something for Christmas anyway. I do every year, so I don't know why I should stop now. And I don't even know why we still do Secret Santa if we all have money now. I doubt I'm going to stop being myself but he's starting to make it difficult. 

He's also started pushing me a lot (I'm not sure whether that's for my own good or not), saying I should probably start writing again, and when am I going to start writing again, and what am I currently writing, and just stuff like that. I keep telling him that I haven't stopped writing, which is true in a sense, and not so true in others. I am currently planning a NaNoWriMo I think, though I'm not sure I'll get much time to do anything in November - but all, I'll say is Real Magic 2: Magic Just Got Real, might be a thing...

I was really quite tired and laidback last night, so to have all this conversation and all the while speak with Lee (a nice guy), Pill's Mentor, about life, life stories, and radiation, gave me a headache and I actually went to bed early (about 10:30)...

I'm really enjoying all the Imagine Dragons songs I've been linked too (thank you Red, you were right). And I've also realised that I've heard some of them before without actually knowing they were Imagine Dragons. Who knew?

It's raining rather dramatically at the moment. I'm concerned that the river might swell too much a wash this place all away. I hope not. Have a brilliant day guys...

Carpe diem...

P.S. Has anyone noticed that this last month's blog titles could be seen on the back of an Album? Perhaps I'll write and sing all the songs...
  1. Waking Up Alone
  2. An Odd Quickie
  3. Nothing At All
  4. Bangers And Mash And Zombies
  5. Over-Achieving Blowjob
  6. Cinema Grill
  7. Drugs Help
  8. And I Will Always Be With You
  9. Quiet Contemplation
  10. Bay?
  11. If I Ever Stray
  12. The Birthmas List
  13. Bute Wall