Because This Year Needs A Summary...

Well this has been a bit of an uppy downie year for me. And I don't know why I feel the need to summaries it, but that's what is happening so sit back and read to your heart's near contention content. Oh and a Very Happy Ecstatically Merry Tremendous Terrific and hopefully un-Terrifying New Year to all of you, best make the most of it because 2012 is coming soon and as we all know, that's when everything changes - I've got to pay back my Student Loan. So without further ado, let the summary begin...

The start of the year was a rather unfortunate beginning, with the loss of my Grandmother. It was sad, but then she hadn't been herself for more than a decade, so I suppose it was a happy departure, and I hope she's now at peace. Then came a few birthdays and a lot of work, but I managed to overcome both of them.

Then came the Summer, where one of my short screenplays was performed by Canadians, and I passed everything I needed to pass, and I played and frolicked and fumbled through the sunshine. Much Ice Cream and Pancakes were consumed for breakfast or otherwise.

Unfortunately I made many mistakes in the Summer, all within the space of a week. With the successful secret party prepared we had to keep it from my very nosey mother - that was quite difficult. Then I discovered that my Grandfather, my last Grandparent, wasn't very well at all. And not only that but HB Sauce gave me a chance, and I said something stupid and ruined everything - she was hurt, which isn't what I wanted because I love her very much. No wonder after all that I had a headache for 9 Weeks. Ouch right? But it became a dull numbing pain towards the end. Then there was Pill's Birthday which we travelled down to Plymouth for, and much fun was had by all.

On the dawning of my 3rd Year at University my headache disappeared, I don't know why: perhaps it was something to do with the change of environment, of people, or perhaps it was being in a constant proximity with HB Sauce, either way it disappeared, which I was very grateful for. Then for course there was more work to be done. But nothing says the same for very long in anyone's life.

My Grandfather died a week before my 21st. A great man, and a good Grandfather, loved by all and the funeral was definitely an event. But there was his letter to the family which drew a few tears indeed.

My birthday came and went and nothing much happened, for some unknown reason. And of course there was more work to be done, many people got jobs, I got an xbox for my birthday. And then came Christmas, a wonderful time of year, as always, and I've only managed to see some people this Christmas, not everyone that I had wanted, and now it's New Year's Eve, and tonight I will be going to a party with HB Sauce dressed in a dinner jacket and a bow tie, wish me luck...

Oh and a Very Happy New Year to You all...

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

Just Say Yes...

I don't know why I enjoy RomCom's so much...

Maybe its just because I have this glorified view of the world, or maybe because I've never had a relationship in my life. But I'd like to think that it's due to the former, I'd like to think that life is actually like that, and that certain things happen in certain ways when boy meets girl, and that things always end up, in the end, the way everyone wants.

Well, like I say, that's the way I like to think about it.

But life isn't that kind - or it's in my experience that it's not. Which sort of explains me. Why I'm happy all the time, because I've had the sad, I've done the sad thing, and that doesn't get you anywhere either. I don't know what to do.

Hi by the way.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

The Passing of a Few Things...

This post isn't going to be a very happy one, so if you don't want to hear it, look away now...

My Grandfather, Mr. Bernard Turley, died on Thursday at 19:55. He had been suffering from prostate cancer, and looked like he was getting better, until he contracted what I presume was a 'Cold'. Indeed, he will be missed by me, and my entire family. And that is the last I shall speak of that. My mother would like my brother and I to be 'Pallbearers' and I am to do a reading, which we are only happy enough to do.

The Funeral is in almost a week's time, and all I can think about is everything and anything other than work...which is a bugger as my first essay is due in a week and a half's time. I have been thinking about Video Games, Job Prospects, Work Experience, How I'm going to learn Modernism in time, that certain someone, the Funeral, my Grandfather, Food, Memories, Mistakes, the Future, My Birthday (6 days after the funeral - that's going to be a cheery event), certain conversations I've had with people about a certain someone...

ARGH!

It's all a bit much to be thinking about and doing right now don't you think?

I'll tell you this now, this is the last time I am going to wait for something to happen in my life, it happened in the summer, and it happened now. In the summer I had the news about my Grandfather, a Surprise Birthday Party for my Mother, and a certain someone admitting to liking me (guess which one I fucked up?). Well now, it's not exactly the same situation. I would have thought I'd be using my Reading Week to complete work and the like, but no. Last week we received the questions for the essay due next week, last week my grandfather died, last week was a bad week. And on top of it all, I'm terribly distracted from anything and everything. I can't focus.

So, after talking with people, admittedly it was alcohol fueled, I have been advised to 'let sleeping dogs lie' with a certain someone. It's something I don't really want to do, but I feel like I might have to. On my wall I have inscribed: 'Repair the Damage done on the 6th July!!!' Is this how I go about it? Is this how I repair this, by letting it go altogether? Could I suffer another lose this week? I don't know.

I do know, however, that Modernism is a difficult 'ism' to grasp, and that I need to work fast and bloody well to get that done before the end of the week. I'll let you know how it all goes...

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

Mazing Der-Man Time!...

You know what? I'm actually really fed up of being Single.

Though, you know, I've tried so many times to get girl friends, and screwed it up that many times, so I suppose I don't actually deserve one.

It's quite sad really, a single life style, single food, single work, single life, single life, single life!

I completely fucked up my relationship with a certain someone over the summer (6th July), and have been trying to repair the damage I did since then. I don't know what to do, I've never been in a relationship. I've never tried to properly do this stuff, though I did this time around which is upsetting.

Perhaps I'm never meant to be with anyone.

But I went and opened my big mouth on that day, the evening of that day, and I have been wondering why I would ever say such a thing, ever!

I mean, my Grandfather's not been well, and my Mother's Surprise 50th was in the planning that week, but they shouldn't have gotten in the way, should they? I mean I think I actually truly do (to hell with it) love her. I know I sound all needy and stalkerish, but I bloody well love the woman, and if she doesn't bloody well love me back, well then that's my problem and I've just got to get over it.

The thing is, I really don't want to get over it. She's wonderful. But should I be losing sleep over this topic, and others?

I mean my Grandfather's getting worse apparently, and Mum has been saying these past couple of weeks that if the Chemo doesn't look like it's working, then she doesn't see him surviving to Christmas, and then there's an Essay (Argh! The Stupid Bint!) - need I say more? My birthday is coming up, and I'm stressing for no apparent reason about all of these things, and you know the one thing I'm sad about? I'm sad, because I don't feel like I can talk to her about all of this, I'm sad because I'm writing it here to vent, I'm sad because I'm just sad.

I was seriously contemplating just sitting her down and telling her (not like she doesn't know) that I really do like her and that if she doesn't like me, then she had best tell me right now, because my mind, as some of you know, makes up it's own world and events, and at the moment it's seeing a future with this one girl. So I've got to tell her to put me down in the cruelest way possible and shunt me for future months, which is something I don't want to do for obvious reasons.

But I don't know. I'll probably have a better out look on life tomorrow after a bit of sleep.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

To Love or Not To Love...

Here we are again, not working...

There's 5 Hours until my Modernism Lecture, but I have no idea where it is, so perhaps if I just get my books out at 2.15-4.15 a class will appear around me and we'll begin. That's far better than the alternatives I'll tell you that. Perhaps she'll move it to the end of the week, again, which I can't do, perhaps she'll move it to tomorrow, which I don't want to happen because I want to ask someone something to do with that day, or perhaps she'll move it to a double lesson next week, which I don't want to happen because that'll mean double Modernism, whereby we'll get 4 Hours of it, which should be 6 - so I suppose we're lucky in a sense...

Moving on...

HB Sauce's birthday went wonderfully I hope. She seemed to enjoy it. The Surprise bit didn't really happen, but it was still a nice gesture...yes? Anywho, I got to talking with Tag and Cherrybelly about love and relationships and the like before the Paaaaaaaartay last week. Merely exclaiming, Cherrybelly said: 'We just want someone to love you the way we do.' Which I thought was awfully sweet. And then we got to talking about asking HB Sauce out (it's okay saying this here right? She doesn't read any of this, unless you do, in which case - Hi HB Sauce!). Which is what I wanted Thursday for, we'd go to Swansea for some Sushi and Shopping, just me and her. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? (Say yes Tag!) Anywho, it's been 5 days since HB's 21st and I have chickened out of asking her almost 6 times, mainly because she's never alone when I want to ask.

I've got to ask her, otherwise I'd never know riiiight? Anywho, that's the first plan, otherwise it's plan two and I don't really want to do that one.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

P.S. Let's get your blogs back into shape with more questions shall we? Okay, Question: Which Plant or Zombie would you prefer to be, and why?

The Crunch Time for Life...

Well, it's finally here, it's time to ask that question again...what am I going to do with my Life?

Ultimately I would like to become a writer/journalist/personality/whatever, but I don't really know how to get there or what not. I'd like to writer the great novel, I'd like to bring people breaking news and travel far and wide to do so, I think I'd like to travel, I'd like to just be famous and have people like me for being so.

How the hell am I going to do that? Do I gather my friends and make a website/book/Tv show?

Perhaps I can sell some merchandise...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!

What am I going to do?! There's 267 days of Uni left in my official stretch. Will I continue that on and get into more and more debt to further and education which I hope will lead to something. Hell, I've got a loan to start paying back in a year or so.

What jobs can I get? That don't involve being employed to stock shelves and the like. What the devil am I going to do with my life?

I could stay put in Carmarthen, work for a bit, do my Masters, and live with Tag, Cherrybelly, Wodge, and Pill. I could see what my newly freshered friend is doing in Swansea, see what the work's like over there. I could go home and go to Swansea to do my PGCE. Or I could go it alone, branch out, discover the world, become something or fail trying.

I just don't know. There's got to be something out there, I can't just bum around for the rest of my life. Work calls, then there's the money, and then I can retire nice and wealthy, with my wife, my 2.5 children and settle in a nice home back in Carmarthen (among other places).

I just hope to God that I win the lottery sometime soon, so I don't have to answer this question now. Perhaps I should start playing the Lottery...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

But that's me, until next time bloggers...

279 Days to go...

Well, strangely enough lectures have began and have already ended this week...

Yep, the vast weeks of the Third Year are going to be padded out by three lectures, all of which take place on Monday and Tuesday. Strange ain't it? Though I suppose this would then, in theory, give me far more time to finish the core texts and report back a week later. So, just lucky I guess.

This week's main task, apart from the obvious reading, is to try and find something I want to write and write about this year. It would appear, though, or rather it is my understanding that many people will be doing short stories...which I would have really liked to do, so I don't know...

I could:

1. Do the Epic Poetry I started out doing last year for this course...

2. Comfort write the hell out of my Fantasy Land...

3. Holiday write, sure I've not been on holiday for a bit, but I can work something...

4. Ideas would be helpful here, I don't know where next to go...

5. Write a Video Game, this would be really tricky...

6. Create and Anthology of Poems or Stories...

7. Something Fantasy, I'm sure that'll be awesome (after all it's my comfort zone, and I haven't written about it professionally yet. Weird I know)...

Anywho, let me know. I'm going to now reminisce by watching 'The Sword in the Stone' with the guys...

But that's me, until next time bloggers...