The BIG Company...

Inspired by real events, this blog is filmed, LIVE, in front of an engaged studio audience...

I know what you're thinking, that would be the most boring Tv show on the tellybox. I don't know why I'm writing this at all really, perhaps it's just something to do, and some way to convince myself that it was the right thing to do - and partly admit to my mistakes.

I had an interview this week, some of you already know this. I definitely didn't like how quickly I was informed about it. Wednesday Afternoon I receive a call saying that there will be interviews for this BIG Company at some point the next day, I naively say I'm available, even though I didn't like the sound of anything the person on the other end of the phone was saying. Either way they said they'd phone back later on to confirm times and places.

Sort of nervous and excited I called them back, possibly a bit too soon, like you're not meant to with women you like. Which caught the woman off guard slightly, but as I was in Porthcawl I lost signal and the phone call ended quite promptly. Curse the signal-less place! Well, I really didn't want to call, I just thought I should.

Anywho, I got the call the next morning, after calling them back inquiring again (I was at home I should add, so the signal was better), saying that my interview would be at 4:30.

So there I was, 4:30 came, I was dressed in my best suit, my Father thought it was a bit OTT, so did I - but it was either that or a Funeral Suit - I don't think either would have mattered. I get to reception, sign in and wait in the waiting room. The security guard at the reception desk unhelpfully said 'You're with the 4 o'clock bunch.' (It was already 4:15)

You are, after all, meant to arrive at your interviews early - it didn't help that we had to drive around the industrial estate a few times looking for something with the name I was told over the phone, rather than the name of the company it actually was, which I suppose had a very similar name - but like I say, it wasn't the name of the company I was told.

So there we go, two things that felt wrong, three if you include the suit. Four if you include the woman, who had invited me to the interview arriving at the front desk, having a conversation with the desk man, obviously about me, and then asking for my name.

Now it was 4:40, I thought I was late, and lost, and all around in trouble. I caught a glimpse of the room of 500+ computers, you could see it from outside. It was horrible, and I didn't like it one bit. But here's where you all go, 'shouldn't be too fussy'. Truth is, I wasn't fussy, not then, I was there after all. The truth is, after they sat me away from everyone else, made me sit a few tests, they interviewed me in a room where there were ten or so other interviews taking place, so it was already quite loud. The person, my interviewer, wasn't the person they said that would be interviewing me, and all in all I felt like a right tit 'role-playing' with this man, who could have been a bit older than I was, but then I suppose he might not have been either.

I feel like I've been going on a bit now, but don't worry if you're getting bored, it's almost over. Don't worry, persevere.

Therefore I got home not feeling too great, I was friendly and open, and I tried to answer every question they posed, even though I had researched a company which wasn't their's, and even though I really didn't want to work in a call-centre, I went with it, and they shook my hand and said 'we'll be in touch'.

I really had a bad feeling about this whole thing from the beginning, I can't work in something which goes that quickly without some knowledge of the thing I was trying to work at, or even towards. It was something about broadband I believe, or so I was told at the door.

Well after discussing it with my friends and family -- oooo, I know quick quiz. Guess who said the following and I'll give you some points:

1. 'You'll say 'Yes' if you get the job, there won't be others.'

A. Mum B. Dad

C. Clareg D. Hb Sauce

2. 'There will be other jobs, some with people you'll get on with straight away and some you won't.'

A. Mum B. Dad

C. Clareg D. Hb Sauce

*note: All phrases are paraphrased, but they give the same message I'm sure, unless I'm doing that unclear thing I do where I use too many words and confuse everyone to my point of meaning.

Anywho, if you need help with any of the questions, this next bit might help, if you don't the answers are at the bottom.

So driving back from a shopping trip today, after still not having the call, mum says 'How can you not get a job at a call-centre?!' She seemed surprised, not by the fact that I didn't want to work there, but more by the fact that they hadn't phoned me or even better given me the job there and then. Then I replied by shouting many things, I'm sure, it all seems like a blur to me now but I think she got the message. I even said the words, 'even if I get the call now, I'm going to decline it because I never wanted to work there in the first place.

I stormed off with the dog down the street and then I got the phone call...

I declined. Like I said I would, and I'm not sad about it or anything I just felt guilty because of their surprise on the other end of the phone. I had to give a reason as to why I didn't want the job, and I was quite certain 'I don't want it now' wasn't going to cut-it. But then I thought about it, and I thought about those 500+ computers, and the way the woman introduced herself to me and how she walked me through the interview procedure face-to-face despite never making eye-contact with me the whole way through though I suppose that could have been a medical problem, though, saying that my interviewer seemed to have a hard time making eye-contact with me as well.

And all these thoughts ran through my head, and the women was just there on the end of the phone wondering why I hadn't explained myself to her - as if I had to. I said 'a change of circumstances,' I would have hoped that would have thrown her off and she would have left at that, but she pushed forwards, trying to convince me that the job was perfect for me, and that come Monday morning I would have become a call-centre associate. I didn't like that, but she finished her 'sale's pitch' and quickly said goodbye as she heard that I wasn't buying any of it.

So I declined her, and the job. And it wasn't because Mum wanted me to jump at the first job that came along, and it wasn't really because of the distance I would have to travel to get there and back, it was partly because it was a call-centre and people with degrees don't work in call centres - well some might but some of the interviewers I went to school with, and they certainly don't have degrees, they have children, but that's another story for another wet Friday.

The main reason I declined is because I was afraid. I've never been afraid like that before, having someone else reliant on me to do my job, I was afraid that I would have been just a face in a room of faces, and I was afraid of the people on the other side of the telephone of course.

But how do I explain any of that to my JobCentre Adviser on Wednesday?

I was raised in a small town, went to small schools, went to a smaller university, and now approaching large rooms stuffed with workers, that's a scary scenario for me.

But I've had some interview experience, I just have to avoid the admin jobs I think - retail should be easy enough, and the main goal - WRITING - well that's just something that's approaching slowly, but I do see it on the horizon.

People told me not to do that degree, they all told me my mistakes, but I didn't care, it was something I wanted to do, and I took on everything that went with that, even the unemployment, even though I didn't know it was this bad. But that is my job, that is what I am, so I hope now that this job search gets me what I want, and not another repetition of something I know absolutely nothing about, and I hope it doesn't get in the way of my writing any more. Which it has, I assure you.

I had planned to have finished my proofread second draft and tested the waters with it by the start of this month, but since this search started, I've not written anything, if at all. And I don't like that, nor how down it gets me.

Just being near a call-centre has put me in a bad mood, HB was certainly right about those places. I'm just quite annoyed that they wanted me, I hope they didn't reject someone else so they could 'have' me. I don't think that's how they work, and I hope its not.

But I've rambled on a bit too long now. I've got a few things in the pipework at the moment, and I'm sure I'll end up telling you guys about it all very soon, but until then...

Carpe diem, until next time bloggers...

P.S. 1A and 2D

P.S.S. Thank you for all the supportive words, those who have given them.