Well, here it is. My final year as an Undergraduate. I wonder what I'll do next...
I believe I have become very envious of Tag (Hi Tag), his success with recent publications on Geeks.co.uk inspired me to do the same to no avail. His Mac, his Xbox, even the love he receives from a certain someone (Hi Cherrybelly) has made me bitter - and just reminds me of my recent attempts for love. Man do I want to be Tag right now - but that's enough feeding his ego for one evening.
I haven't really been posting to this blog as much as I would have liked to in the months of late. So post I shall.
I moved back to Uni on Sunday...
Hang on, hang on. To tell you the truth this isn't where I've been wanting this blog to go, but if I don't say it here or something I think I'm going to do something stupid...again. So basically I've been trying to write this blog post for many days now, and every time I sit down and think about the new beginnings I want to write about I stop writing.
The new beginning that I want to write about isn't about my weight, which is being sorted via two bowls of cereal a day. It's not about the not being published, because that will happen sooner or later. I've just got to keep at it. It's not about the meeting of new people and new friends, which has happened and will continue to.
No.
The reason I can't write this blog properly is because the new beginnings remind me of what I could have and what I well and truly bungled up this summer - as I always do. I had the chance of finding love this summer, and when it came down to it, I blew the whole thing. She liked me, I liked her, it was perfect, but then I said too much, as I would always do, and I ruined the whole thing. I hurt her without meaning to. And for that I am sorry. And then when I tried to ask again, very recently - which is why I'm distracted - she shot me down, and hurt me.
And now I'm having a hard time trying to not go and ask and ask and ask again. I think it would be perfect, but her opinion's changed. We're still pals, and close ones at that, but I don't think I can continue the closeness without doing something stupid, and something I'll regret. Something very much like this. And I know most of you will know the people in question. So just know that I am sad. And that I should wade this out.
And that's not how I wanted this post to go either, but I suppose, as I'm sat down here writing, it'll be the best it'll be at this moment. Please don't read this and judge, I know I've been stupid and the like, but I really would have liked to try it out for once.
I am envious of Tag, and Pill for that matter...
But that's me, until next time bloggers...
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